|
|
Post by Nikkol on Sept 24, 2008 11:22:38 GMT -5
PEACE AND BLESSINGS, sis nikkol! It's been a while, LOLOL! ;D ... In reference to someone that was contemplating marrying someone that was divorced, we did let her know that according to the scriptures, we believe that it's adultery. Well if I was that sister, we would have had quite the discussion.  Starting with, "Which rightly translated scriptures would those be?" I'm sure I must somehow be misreading or misunderstanding you here. Because I initially and actually thought you might be implying that the former had something to do with the latter. Oh my... I saw that and actually was trying to remember when I talked about this...LOL.. Regarding what translation, I tend to either use the KJV or the Hebrew/Greek translation bible. In other words (not sure if this was your question). She ended up going against what leadership had indicated as part of our standard/doctrine of the ministry. However, soon after she got married, her first husband died which means that scripturally she was a widow and nothing wrong with a widow remarrying.... make sense? |
|
|
|
Post by keita on Dec 3, 2009 12:21:30 GMT -5
On another thread: Hey Guys,
Let me make a bold statement. I personally believe there are many reasons cases in which people many need to get a divorce... These go far beyond good ole adultry. In prior post I mentioned if spouse was trying to kill you... But what if your husband raped your daughter? What if he killed your mother? What if he killed your child?
Now I don't name these things simply to go to worse case situations... I am naming them because they are situations that people are actually dealing with...
Example: Jennifer Hudson: Let's not forget that she lost her mother, brother and nephew because her sister's estranged HUSBAND came to house one day and took them all out... Not to mention that reports from the police show that the estranged husband came over to the house on a regular basis to kick some butt!
It's no secret that Jennifer's brother was protecting them all from this individual. Apparently since he was standing in the way from him dishing out the beating he desired to give... William Baufor got a gun to even the score... I think it is a safe bet to assume that had Jennifer or her sister been at the house they too would be gone from this earth.
Now Nikkol... are you actually going to say that you would tell Jennifer's sister to stay married to this guy?
Again this situation probably could have been prevented if Jennifer's sister had never married this guy in the first place. It's clear that he had poor character... The signs of this was probably evident prior to getting married... This is why I am stating that I think one of the ways for us to have better marriages starts in the beginning before any vows are taken place.
It's the use of God given wisdom....
Because honestly folks I think there are cases that just aren't going to work and the answer to those cases is simply not to be in the situation to start with... |
|
|
|
Post by keita on Dec 3, 2009 12:50:32 GMT -5
On another thread: with abuse, if you can work things out while being temporary separated from your husband and he get the counselling and deliverance he need, fine.... If it too dangerous or you don't want to live with him again because he remain abusive and refuse help.... divorce... you don't need any connection with an abuser and destroy the soul-tie so you won't find yourself back in the same situation. Many women and men will find there way back to the abuser or connect with someone like him/her because their soul is tied to them and it hard to break from the person. |
|
|
|
Post by Nikkol on Dec 3, 2009 17:37:36 GMT -5
My answer is to separate for peace sake....I believe I already told the story of the woman that stayed with her abusive husband and how God turned the situation around. Granted, in ministry, if we find out about abusive situations, we have to tell the authorities. I wouldn't tell a person who's getting abused that they have to stay there...I would tell them to separate....
Kitty: I think we can agree that separation is a good thing to do.
....the difference is that I don't see the necessity for divorce if you're separated.
TO me, since you can't remarry because the first spouse is dead, I PERSONALLY don't see a difference between being separated and divorced....
ANd in that case, I can't say that I believe that because someone gets actual "divorce paperwork" that all of a sudden a man that is upset about what the ex-wife did/does will all of a sudden say "Well, I'll leave her alone now since we're legally divorced."....make sense?
|
|
|
|
Post by Nikkol on Dec 7, 2009 9:10:49 GMT -5
with abuse, if you can work things out while being temporary separated from your husband and he get the counselling and deliverance he need, fine.... If it too dangerous or you don't want to live with him again because he remain abusive and refuse help.... divorce... you don't need any connection with an abuser and destroy the soul-tie so you won't find yourself back in the same situation. Many women and men will find there way back to the abuser or connect with someone like him/her because their soul is tied to them and it hard to break from the person. Are you saying that a divorce will mean that the abused won't find themselves in the same situation whil a person who separates will? I can't say that I agree with that... Now regarding "soul-tie", that's a different topic all together....I'm not sure still how I feel about that terminology...however, if I was 100% believer of it, I would believe that the tie made between a husband and wife isn't broken because they are divorced....the two became one and I on't think that you can become "2" again..... (YES, I KNOW THAT'S VEERING OFF....PRAY FOR ME.....LOL) |
|
|
|
Post by Nikkol on Dec 7, 2009 9:18:37 GMT -5
Hey Guys,
Let me make a bold statement. I personally believe there are many reasons cases in which people many need to get a divorce... These go far beyond good ole adultry. In prior post I mentioned if spouse was trying to kill you... But what if your husband raped your daughter? What if he killed your mother? What if he killed your child?
Now I don't name these things simply to go to worse case situations... I am naming them because they are situations that people are actually dealing with...
Example: Jennifer Hudson: Let's not forget that she lost her mother, brother and nephew because her sister's estranged HUSBAND came to house one day and took them all out... Not to mention that reports from the police show that the estranged husband came over to the house on a regular basis to kick some butt!
It's no secret that Jennifer's brother was protecting them all from this individual. Apparently since he was standing in the way from him dishing out the beating he desired to give... William Baufor got a gun to even the score... I think it is a safe bet to assume that had Jennifer or her sister been at the house they too would be gone from this earth.
Now Nikkol... are you actually going to say that you would tell Jennifer's sister to stay married to this guy?
Again this situation probably could have been prevented if Jennifer's sister had never married this guy in the first place. It's clear that he had poor character... The signs of this was probably evident prior to getting married... This is why I am stating that I think one of the ways for us to have better marriages starts in the beginning before any vows are taken place.
It's the use of God given wisdom....
Because honestly folks I think there are cases that just aren't going to work and the answer to those cases is simply not to be in the situation to start with... So, do you believe that if the sister divorced the man, those killings wouldn't have happened? Personally, I don't think that divorce ppwk would've changed how he felt or what he wanted or what he did....although honestly, depending on his state of mind, it could've turned out worse with a lot more ppl being killed. For many ppl, I usually don't hear "Oh I'm so excited that my divorce ppwk came".... |
|
|
|
Post by giantsdodie on Dec 7, 2009 12:52:04 GMT -5
I always find it interesting that folks tend to gravitate to the very extreme cases when things like divorce are discussed.
Personally i think the divorce rate in the church and especially among its leadership is a shame before God.
|
|
|
|
Post by Nikkol on Dec 7, 2009 13:36:26 GMT -5
I always find it interesting that folks tend to gravitate to the very extreme cases when things like divorce are discussed. Personally i think the divorce rate in the church and especially among its leadership is a shame before God. You have a point there...I didn't even think about how these are extreme cases which in talking to most ppl I don't recall many that said there was abuse.... It really is a shame..... |
|
|
|
Post by anointedteacher on Dec 7, 2009 16:43:11 GMT -5
with abuse, if you can work things out while being temporary separated from your husband and he get the counselling and deliverance he need, fine.... If it too dangerous or you don't want to live with him again because he remain abusive and refuse help.... divorce... you don't need any connection with an abuser and destroy the soul-tie so you won't find yourself back in the same situation. Many women and men will find there way back to the abuser or connect with someone like him/her because their soul is tied to them and it hard to break from the person. Are you saying that a divorce will mean that the abused won't find themselves in the same situation whil a person who separates will? I can't say that I agree with that... Now regarding "soul-tie", that's a different topic all together....I'm not sure still how I feel about that terminology...however, if I was 100% believer of it, I would believe that the tie made between a husband and wife isn't broken because they are divorced....the two became one and I on't think that you can become "2" again..... (YES, I KNOW THAT'S VEERING OFF....PRAY FOR ME.....LOL) True....Soul-ties have to be broken after the divorce... Can't really break it if you're still married, you are still connected to the person... When you are married, you become as one... If the spouse (man or woman) commit an adultery, their soul also knit to the other person, so you are nolonger one flesh. When it not broken, the person will be pull to another man/woman, with like spirit or back to the adulterer or abuser. Why stay married, if you can not ever live with that person again. My aunt (mother's twin) did that and was miserable. Her preacher husband almost starved her the kids to death. She was at the time 5"9', 8 months pregnane, 90lbs, when she escaped with her two small children, from FL to NY, by bus 1955.... Her huisband was a well known taveling evangelist... She didn't divorce, because she was told not to... This man was making money and won't give a dime for his kids... He abused, spiritually, physically and emotional. He was doing a tent revival in NY... my mother heard him on the radio so she went to see him... She got into the prayer line, when he saw her, he amost had an heart attack!!! he thouht she was going to expose him in frong of all those ppl... He try to push money into her hand... she said, no you take it to your wife and kids, they need food and clothings... he never did... My cousin saw his father for the first time at his brother's funeral... he was 38 at the time. His father was re-married without a divorce and brought his wife to the funeral. My aunt was miserable and depressed, especailly during Christmas time and for most of her life.... she is now 76 year old and been saved since 16 got married at 18.... and separated at 22... She should have divorced that clown and re-married... her kids suffered so much... He act like they didn't existance. It many cases... it is best to divorce and move on with your life... |
|
|
|
Post by anointedteacher on Dec 7, 2009 16:54:28 GMT -5
I always find it interesting that folks tend to gravitate to the very extreme cases when things like divorce are discussed. Personally i think the divorce rate in the church and especially among its leadership is a shame before God. Because there are many extreme cases.... we see and read about it daily... and some of us (not me, never married) on this board was part of those extreme cases or have/had friends and familes in/was in those extreme cases... |
|
|
|
Post by Rachel2 on Dec 7, 2009 17:34:33 GMT -5
I always find it interesting that folks tend to gravitate to the very extreme cases when things like divorce are discussed. Personally i think the divorce rate in the church and especially among its leadership is a shame before God. You have a point there...I didn't even think about how these are extreme cases which in talking to most ppl I don't recall many that said there was abuse.... It really is a shame..... Abuse comes in many forms...not just physical, which is the one most people tend to think of when you mention the word Abuse. In many cases, the victim does not realize they are being abused because it is not physical so they don't know what to call it. They just know that something is not right with the relationship. |
|
|
|
Post by kitty on Dec 7, 2009 18:45:08 GMT -5
Giants....
Those extreme cases... are more common than you think.... When ever a woman is killed, husband and boyfriends are the number 1 suspects. Sadly it because they are more often than not... the one's who committ the crime.
Kitty
|
|
|
|
Post by Poetricia (G.A.P.) on Dec 7, 2009 19:30:39 GMT -5
Ok, if you guys would prefer, we could use more "normal" examples of why people divorce. Would that be better?
Also, what do you think of the phrase "REMARRIAGE is not an option" vs "Divorce is not an option"?
Lastly, I am mulling over the comment someone made about why do we call it remarriage, it would really only be remarriage if you married the person you were divorced to. LOL Great observation.
|
|
|
|
Post by And Such Were Some Of You on Dec 8, 2009 17:51:21 GMT -5
I really don't believe there would be much divorce in the church if both spouses realized that marriage is to mirror Christ and the Church.
Instead, we automatically look for reasons WHY we can divorce instead of operating in forgiveness. When we "cheat on God" does He divorce us? Or does He forgive us?
|
|
|
|
Post by Nikkol on Dec 9, 2009 7:51:29 GMT -5
I really don't believe there would be much divorce in the church if both spouses realized that marriage is to mirror Christ and the Church. Instead, we automatically look for reasons WHY we can divorce instead of operating in forgiveness. When we "cheat on God" does He divorce us? Or does He forgive us? That's where I am on this.....for truth be told, if God were to divorce us when we "slept with the enemy", NONE of us would be saved..... Then again, to me, adultery still falls into the "worse" of the better for worse that we indicated to the judge/preacher/etc. Just like a man loosing his job and unable to find work would be in the "richer/poorer"....... Side Note: Additionally, I'm seeing more and more that many times, it's NOT only the man who's cheating....but some women are just better at "hiding" what they do....but of course that would never come out...... Side Note #2: I do wonder if MOST reasons for divorce in christian households is due to adultery.....I don't know if I am a believer that it is..... (unfortunately I can't find any statistics online) |
|
