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Post by Nikkol on Nov 16, 2009 13:47:08 GMT -5
in the church.
Stensland Stands by Her Man
Former Fox 29 anchor says despite scandal and heartbreak she is more empowered than ever
By TERESA MASTERSON
Updated 12:26 PM EST, Mon, Nov 16, 2009
Facebook Former Fox 29 anchor Dawn Stensland gave a tell-all interview to the Daily News this week, revealing her knowledge of an affair between her husband Larry Mendte and Alycia Lane, both former anchors of CBS3, and saying that she is more in love with her husband of nine years than ever.
"I love him more today than I ever have,” she told the Daily News. “Has he made mistakes? Sure, yes he did. Do I think they rose to the level of a federal crime? No, I don't. I think that is ridiculous."
Suffering a miscarriage; confronting her husband on “salacious” emails between him and Lane suggesting his infidelity; watching her husband’s scandal of breaking into Lane’s e-mails unfold with an FBI probe; his conviction and house arrest; and then suddenly losing her job at Fox 29 last month, all happened over a year-and-a-half period. And yet Stensland feels more empowered than ever before.
"We all have our cross to bear. No matter what a person is going through," she told the Daily News. "For women, put on your best game face, put on your best girdle and you just gotta go."
Stensland credits the people of Philadelphia for giving her the strength to carry on through messages on facebook and twitter.
She posted the link to the extensive three-page article about her recent “empowerment” on her facebook page Monday morning, and people immediately began to leave comments of encouragement.
“Dawn, you remind us all that no matter which side of the television screen we are on, we are all human and that real life happens,” one man wrote. “Your strength and courage are a model for us all. Keep the faith and stay strong.”
“Good luck Dawn, your new life will be even better, the cream always rises to the top,” another person wrote.
Stensland said that despite finding a receipt for a Tiffany necklace Mendte bought for Lane, and the e-mails that suggested her husband’s infidelity, she is devoted to him and their marriage. She’s surprised that so many people question her choice to stay by Mendte’s side.
"That's a sad part of our society, this idea that marriage is not until death do us part but rather something that's disposable," said Stensland. "That's not the way it should be. . . . You know, I'm sticking by my man and I know that Larry is a good man."
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Post by krazeeboi on Nov 16, 2009 18:12:23 GMT -5
How do we know she's not part of the church? Several of her statements would suggest that she is, at least to me.
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Post by Nikkol on Nov 16, 2009 20:11:55 GMT -5
How do we know she's not part of the church? Several of her statements would suggest that she is, at least to me. Point well taken...let me fix that.... |
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Post by kitty on Nov 19, 2009 19:19:24 GMT -5
Hey Nikkol....
I'm not sure this is what we need to see more of in terms of marriage.... I think her marriage is a joke! If her husband who was so jealous and into his lover that he tried to break into her email and got caught by the FBI is a "good man" then I certainly hate to see a bad one!
I believe that marriages should be able to weather storms... But I think is a perfect example of why God made divorce an option in some cases...
Kitty
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Post by krazeeboi on Nov 19, 2009 20:32:59 GMT -5
But I think is a perfect example of why God made divorce an option in some cases... "He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so." (Matthew 19:8)  |
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Post by anointedteacher on Nov 19, 2009 21:08:24 GMT -5
God divorced Israel...
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Post by Nikkol on Nov 20, 2009 7:55:00 GMT -5
Divorce was indicated by Matthew to the Jews regarding fornication ie betrothal period....
And I would never call a person's marriage a joke. The fact that she's still staying with her husband as she vowed (until death) really says a lot about her. It's VERY admirable. I wish all Christians could take this as an example that no matter what, you can work through your issues. NOTHING is too hard for God..
But let's keep reading about God divorcing Israel...
6 The LORD said also unto me in the days of Josiah the king, Hast thou seen that which backsliding Israel hath done ? she is gone up upon every high mountain and under every green tree, and there hath played the harlot . 7 And I said after she had done all these things, Turn thou unto me. But she returned not. And her treacherous sister Judah saw it. 8 And I saw , when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away , and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. 9 And it came to pass through the lightness of her whoredom, that she defiled the land, and committed adultery with stones and with stocks. 10 And yet for all this her treacherous sister Judah hath not turned unto me with her whole heart, but feignedly, saith the LORD. 11 And the LORD said unto me, The backsliding Israel hath justified herself more than treacherous Judah. 12 Go and proclaim these words toward the north, and say , Return , thou backsliding Israel, saith the LORD; and I will not cause mine anger to fall upon you: for I am merciful, saith the LORD, and I will not keep anger for ever. 13 Only acknowledge thine iniquity, that thou hast transgressed against the LORD thy God, and hast scattered thy ways to the strangers under every green tree, and ye have not obeyed my voice, saith the LORD. 14 Turn , O backsliding children, saith the LORD; for I am married unto you: and I will take you one of a city, and two of a family, and I will bring you to Zion: 15 And I will give you pastors according to mine heart, which shall feed you with knowledge and understanding . 16 And it shall come to pass, when ye be multiplied and increased in the land, in those days, saith the LORD, they shall say no more, The ark of the covenant of the LORD: neither shall it come to mind: neither shall they remember it; neither shall they visit it; neither shall that be done any more. 17 At that time they shall call Jerusalem the throne of the LORD; and all the nations shall be gathered unto it, to the name of the LORD, to Jerusalem: neither shall they walk any more after the imagination of their evil heart. 18 In those days the house of Judah shall walk with the house of Israel, and they shall come together out of the land of the north to the land that I have given for an inheritance unto your fathers. 19 But I said , How shall I put thee among the children, and give thee a pleasant land, a goodly heritage of the hosts of nations? and I said , Thou shalt call me, My father; and shalt not turn away from me. 20 Surely as a wife treacherously departeth from her husband, so have ye dealt treacherously with me, O house of Israel, saith the LORD. 21 A voice was heard upon the high places, weeping and supplications of the children of Israel: for they have perverted their way, and they have forgotten the LORD their God. 22 Return , ye backsliding children, and I will heal your backslidings. Behold, we come unto thee; for thou art the LORD our God. 23 Truly in vain is salvation hoped for from the hills, and from the multitude of mountains: truly in the LORD our God is the salvation of Israel. 24 For shame hath devoured the labour of our fathers from our youth; their flocks and their herds, their sons and their daughters. 25 We lie down in our shame, and our confusion covereth us: for we have sinned against the LORD our God, we and our fathers, from our youth even unto this day, and have not obeyed the voice of the LORD our God.
Scripture out of context can sometimes be very damaging
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Post by Poetricia (G.A.P.) on Nov 22, 2009 9:12:40 GMT -5
true nikkol, MANY of the traditional do's and don'ts were mandated by taking scripture out of context.
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Post by kitty on Nov 23, 2009 7:01:28 GMT -5
Nikkol,
God does give adultry as a legit reason for divorcing. Plus nothing seems to suggest that her husband is remorseful about this matter. Thus it doesn't appear as if he is "returning to the Lord for backslidding to be healed". In fact it appears that after his wife confronted him about cheating, suffered a miscarriage and his "mistress" had moved on he still wouldn't stop his cheating ways.
His apparent obssession with his mistress was so deep that he broke the law and lost his job. He broke into her email account. I think it is safe to say that he probaby did that out of jealousy... Why woud he be jealous? Probably because his mistress got a clue and moved on to someone else... Probably someone single.
So her husband is sticking around for the moment. Why would he hop up and leave? He lost his job and has no income. He is being investigated by the FBI. Divorces cause money and I think it is just a matter of time before her husband asks her for one. Other wise she can probably expect to live out her days with more of the same.
Nikkol I don't think that suggesting that more Christian women stay in this kind of situation is what is going to make more Christian marriages strong or even pleasing to the Lord. No more than if some man deceived a woman into marriage and then declared that he was gay and sleeping with men.
Kitty
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Post by Nikkol on Nov 23, 2009 8:07:29 GMT -5
Nikkol, God does give adultry as a legit reason for divorcing. Plus nothing seems to suggest that her husband is remorseful about this matter. Thus it doesn't appear as if he is "returning to the Lord for backslidding to be healed". In fact it appears that after his wife confronted him about cheating, suffered a miscarriage and his "mistress" had moved on he still wouldn't stop his cheating ways. His apparent obssession with his mistress was so deep that he broke the law and lost his job. He broke into her email account. I think it is safe to say that he probaby did that out of jealousy... Why woud he be jealous? Probably because his mistress got a clue and moved on to someone else... Probably someone single. So her husband is sticking around for the moment. Why would he hop up and leave? He lost his job and has no income. He is being investigated by the FBI. Divorces cause money and I think it is just a matter of time before her husband asks her for one. Other wise she can probably expect to live out her days with more of the same. Nikkol I don't think that suggesting that more Christian women stay in this kind of situation is what is going to make more Christian marriages strong or even pleasing to the Lord. No more than if some man deceived a woman into marriage and then declared that he was gay and sleeping with men. Kitty we make a VOW until death. Through better or worse... The legitimate reason given was fornication, not adultery. Which as I said earlier is why this is only seen in Matthew, since the Jews would understand this concept of fornication based on their knowledge that in order to break a betrothal, one had to divorce -- this is also why the disciples said, well, if that's the case, it's better not to get married because if ALL the person had to do was commit adultery and they could get out, it's an "easy fix". I believe that we need to stick with what the bible says rather than what we want. A man being gay/bi isn't the "end all" either. What is pleasing to the Lord is that you make a vow and keep it....this has nothing to do with what the other person does. You're held accountable for yourself. That's what is pleasing to the Lord. Doing his will is pleasing to the Lord. Will it hurt sometimes? Yes. Is it always comfortable? No. But yet, we must stay true to HIS way...not our own. Honestly, as a single woman, I can understand why you'd feel that way and from the single perspective, that does make sense. Why should one have to deal with someone doing something that would find themselves in the "worse" part of a marriage? Yet, even as God continues to deal with us and our "adultery with the enemy", he is still there for us. What a great way of showing the love of God. There are MANY stories of ppl that dealt with this kind of thing and their marriages are stronger. Why? Because it taught them how to really trust God. If everytime something bad happens we just get up and walk away, it doesn't strengthen us and doesn't allow us to grow in discipline and trust. Is this the thing we'd like to see in Christian marriages? Of course not. But to say that a woman honoring her vows to be with her husband until death (Rom 7:2/ 1 cor 7:39) is somehow unpleasing to the Lord is something that scripture does not back up. |
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Post by Poetricia (G.A.P.) on Nov 23, 2009 8:13:50 GMT -5
while i can certainly understand and agree with you on "this is what we should see in more christian marriages" regarding the restoration of marriages where an affair (physical and/or emotional) if both parties are willing to be restored to Christ and to work on the marriage together, i DO NOT agree that a woman DECEIVED by a gay man should stay in that marriage. in THAT example the woman would actually have a case of annulment based on fraud, would she not? i think so. and i think in Christ she would be free to marry again IN CHRIST.
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Post by Nikkol on Nov 23, 2009 9:52:44 GMT -5
while i can certainly understand and agree with you on "this is what we should see in more christian marriages" regarding the restoration of marriages where an affair (physical and/or emotional) if both parties are willing to be restored to Christ and to work on the marriage together, i DO NOT agree that a woman DECEIVED by a gay man should stay in that marriage. in THAT example the woman would actually have a case of annulment based on fraud, would she not? i think so. and i think in Christ she would be free to marry again IN CHRIST. Annulments were moreso based on marriages that weren't consummated (which I think was moreso a Catholic thing) --- tho now that I'm thinking about it, based on the betrothal period in Jewish culture I could see where the "concept" would come from. Can a woman married to a gay man separate? Yes. Tho I think that that too is something that you have to seek God on...maybe she can sanctify her husband (1 cor 7) and he can get his life together. Or, maybe he's attracted to his wife and other men but not actively doing anything with anyone but her (which to me is the same as a guy being attracted to his wife and other women but not doing anything)....I read an article a while ago regarding this situation. If I find it, I'll post the link). Free to marry again? If the spouse is dead, yes. Other than that, I can't validate (tho I'd LOVE to do so) by scripture by which that is right. |
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Post by kitty on Nov 23, 2009 10:01:07 GMT -5
Nikkol,
I truly appreciate your desire to see marriages last in the church. But I think your view that God is asking us to stick to a vow at all cost is incorrect. If this is what God wanted then He wouldn't have given ANY reasons at all for a person to divorce... including if a spouse be an unbeliever and decided to leave... But He does...
It is also to my understanding that fornication is refering to the act of sex outside of the confines of marriage.... regardless of if one or both of the parties involved are married. It is only called adultry when one of them is married. But the sin is the same and that many times the words fornication and adultry are used interchangeably....
Example: Matt 5:28 states, " But I say unto you, who so ever looketh on a woman to lust after her, had committed adultry with her already in his heart."
Here it is automatically assumed that the word fornication and adultry are interchange-able. Because if we take it to be for only married women then we could assume and suggest that God is ok if a man decides to look at single women with lust in his heart, just not the married woman. Or we could make the arguement that because the word adultry is used then it must mean that either the woman or man involved must be married and if they are not then God is ok with single men lusting in their hearts after single women... We all know that is not what is being taught in the church.
Then let's take a look at it this way too... If we take the scripture to mean what you are saying Nikkol... That it is only for fornication and NOT adultry... then technically could not your husband divorce you today? Could not that be then the reason for divorce for ANY woman that had sex before she even met and married her husband?
Does it even make sense to suggest that God would allow a man to divorce his wife for having sex with another man BEFORE they were married.... But not allow a man to divorce his wife after sex with another man AFTER they were married?
I think this is a case where God is calling us to use wisdom not traditions.
In fact if we were go with what you are suggesting then let's look at one more case....
What if your spouse if literally trying to kill you? Has had many attempts on your life? Would you say to that person that it is God's will only for you to separate for safety but NEVER divorce? And if that person stayed and was killed then would you say she honored a vow to God that He called to to honor? Until death? I have a hard time thinking that God would be pleased with this...
Kitty
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Post by And Such Were Some Of You on Nov 28, 2009 8:04:27 GMT -5
I also would like to see more marriages last, especially amongst Christians. I know of several cases in which there was adultery involved and instead of divorcing they all stayed in their marriages. I know of 4 couples in which this is the case. 2 of which it was the man who has cheated and the other 2 the woman is the one who committed adultery.
I do not believe in divorce, however I will not counsel anyone not to divorce. I would lay out the biblical principles and encourage the individual/couple to continue to seek God in the matter. Even in the matter of adultery - people look at this as "the way out" and therefore it is the first option of choice. However, marriage is to be an example of Christ and the Church. How many times have we committed adultery and He has accepted us back lovingly? I am not necessarily talking leaving God to seek out another religion. I am talking placing anything before God.
In the case of any other kind of abuse - my first advice will always be to escape for the sake of safety. However, even in this case I wouldn't encourage divorce.
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Post by kitty on Nov 28, 2009 9:22:36 GMT -5
hey Guys,
I draw the line at some one trying to murder me. I promise yall that I would get a divorce quickly, change my name and go into hiding from those kind of individuals. Say what you want I'm gonna end up alive!LOL
I can't see myself ever counseling a woman ro man for that matter to stay in a marriage in which one person is trying to kill another. The bible does have any scripture that speciifically even states the word abortion or even specifically to the act but we all know that it is against God's will... Just the same I won't never stop and ask God to change the heart of a man who is shooting a gun at me or trying to stab me in the heart with a knife
It' not that all things aren't possible through Christ... But that I would also have to accept that God gives man a free will also...
By the way in the case of adultry... I'm not trying to suggest that everyone in that position should divorce. If a couple and can come together and decide as a couple to stay together then I think that's what they should do.
But I don't think the original case is a good example of that... It seems as if in this case the woman is still holding on while her husband is still just running around obsessed with his mistress even thought the affair is over. He not committed to their marriage. She just trying to hold on to him. God does give us the right to divorce in this matter.
Kitty
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