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Post by keita on Oct 7, 2005 17:59:16 GMT -5
(((((((God Bless you, Sister Lilah!  )))))))Sister to Sister Peace and Blessings! ( I’m taking the liberty of taking excerpts (and borrowing/paraphrasing some ideas) from Cindi McMenamin's When Women Walk Alone, along with some of my own thoughts. Sister gets the credit and may God get the glory!) It's been said that the true test of a woman's strength is in how strong she is alone. When I think about that statement, I'm reminded of some of the very thoughts I've often had about this scripture: "And the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him."(Interestingly, (and imho, not coincidentally) there's a thread running about Genesis 2:18 HERE in the "Marriage" forum. I feel my "connection-makin' anointing" coming on!  LOL!) I have come to believe that every woman, no matter what her life's circumstances, has had, is having or will someday have the experience of being what I call "alonely". By that I mean and include: being alone, but not lonely... being lonely, but not alone... being alone and lonely. As we go through life, women may live out and through singlehood, marriage, divorce, widowhood, motherhood, childlessness, careers, friendships, loss of loved ones, aging, illness... MERCY,LORD! In any (and sometimes all) of that, and perhaps even because we are women, there will always be times and seasons when we are "alonely". And when we are, we may very well come to think, really feel, or truly believe that no one understands us or our plans, hears our hearts, or has walked in our pumps. So, my sisters, what about you? Are you struggling with feeling and/or being alone? What exactly are you struggling with? Are you wanting to be married or wanting to be happy in your marriage? Are you struggling with wanting a child, career or a certain dream that appears out of reach? Are you stuggling with not feeling emotionally connected to someone, or feeling no one understands certain things about your past which have informed and are affecting your present? Or are you maybe just plain tired of bearing things on your own and you'd like to share the burdens with someone? I'm hoping that in this thread we can share what and how we as women consider "alone times", including the physical, emotional and even the spiritual aspects. As we journey together, I'm praying and believing that we will come to see and use them as doorways to deeper intimacy with God. So let's edify ourselves and each other through what we've learned about walking "alone", whether from where we've been or where we are, while becoming better prepared for what lies ahead on our journey. Let's look at practical challenges and ways to grow through these times of our lives so that we not only stand ready, walk steady, and run swiftly, but also to lift up other women who may be lying alongside the road, weakened and weary of walking "alone". Let's gain strength together, and together, become stronger for the times when we find ourselves "alonely".
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Post by J13578 on Oct 8, 2005 4:16:36 GMT -5
Thank you Keita  Peace, Love and Joy... |
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Post by livinganewlife on Oct 8, 2005 4:34:15 GMT -5
Keita this thread is beautiful!!!
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Post by Beulah5 on Oct 8, 2005 12:09:18 GMT -5
This is an absolutely,excellent post and one to which i look forward to participating in. I believe i have experienced all 3 scenarios at various times in my life. The 3rd one mainly in my teenage years. I believe that we are ill equipped to handle loneliness when we are still struggling to discover our identities and our purpose. I believe purpose has everything to do with it. I believe that the Spirit of the Lord's aim is to teach us how to cope and enjoy wherever we are no matter the circumstance. Many of us fight against where we are and that delays the process for us. I was reading this verse on the cover of the current daily bread quiet time book that aptly applies to this: Dan 2:21 And he changeth the times and the seasons: he removeth kings, and setteth up kings: he giveth wisdom unto the wise, and knowledge to them that know understanding the season. . More dialogue to come |
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Post by J13578 on Oct 11, 2005 9:06:50 GMT -5
I have experienced "being alonely" after the death of my husband, three years ago. I had had times before when I was alone, and when I felt lonely. I can talk only from my personal experience, and through it all, God's patient work and grace. To me, being alone as we say, applies more to a physical sense, the absence. Being lonely, is a feeling, a condition, and it touches the mind, the soul. Spiritually, I was extremely aware of not being "alone". However, the part of me which had been severed, cut off, left me completely stripped before Him, and just expecting, waiting for Him to do His work, whatever it was, because I sure did not know... Looking back, and it is the only way I can put it in words, it was like each part was functioning individually, like being first "deconstructed". Then, He rebuilt, but adressing each part individually. I believe that the common denominator of being alonely is that, whether we are aware of it or not, it affects each part of our being, body, soul and mind. Eventually, it will manifest and affect us spiritually, because each part, individually, demands to be "catered to" and reacts to loneliness differently, with different needs demanding to be satisfied. We know today that even a newborn child, if not cared for, not fed by the same person all the time, not spoken to, not cuddled, will eventually be sick, refuse food and could die... That's the result of loneliness, solitude and abandonment, death, one way or the other. Loneliness is fundamuntally against our nature, both carnal and spiritual. If a newborn child can die from it, not even having experienced the world as we know it, that shows the destructive power that it carries. How it affects each part of us, individually, is crucial, because for each part loneliness translates into different negative consequences and opens the door to many different types of compensation, often sinful ones. From my experience, I believe that the purpose of those times in our life, whatever causes loneliness, is to find our true identity in Him. At the end of this process, if it ever ends we might find ourselves alone again, but never lonely. Because then, we know who we really are, in Him first, there is no longer the fear of being ourselves in any environment. We know and we walk in it, in submission to Him. We don't walk in the world anymore trying to "get" whatever we think we need, we know we have received, we know who we are, and we share that and He only gets the glory. (I know I have been a little all over the place, but this is a very personal issue for all of us. My prayer is that we will recognise what being alonely is, face it, and emerge whole and free. Not kinda, but completely) |
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Post by stillfocused on Oct 12, 2005 23:07:57 GMT -5
Being alone can take on so many facets. You can have companionship, be married, and sometimes in a relationship and still be lonely. Men deal with their loneliness differently than women. They move on to the next thing, the next woman, or even the next toy. Yet, there are some when they face the lose of a spouse; they become lonely and no longer what to live. Studies have proven that in instances where on spouse dies very shortly after the other was due to loneliness and the fact that they just gave up on life and died. I know a man who was placed in a pyschartic ward shortly after the death of his wife. They have been married for close to 50 yrs..if not 50 yrs. Keita, I must agree with your statement requiring not knowing your purpose or who are; does make the being alone a bigger problem because that person has not accepted the love of the Father therefore they cannot accept or embrace the idea of being alone with their own thoughts, own ideas, and etc.
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Post by J13578 on Oct 14, 2005 7:20:30 GMT -5
"Keita, I must agree with your statement requiring not knowing your purpose or who are; does make the being alone a bigger problem because that person has not accepted the love of the Father therefore they cannot accept or embrace the idea of being alone with their own thoughts, own ideas, and etc. "
A little while ago, Keita had also brought up a very important point about God's order, as in us saying that we are body, soul, mind and spirit, when God's order would be the other way around, spirit first.
When we experience loneliness and everything it bears - because loneliness doesn't come alone - regardless of what may be the obvious reason causing it, it is important to deal with it in the proper order. It is the only way to realign everything in us with God's will and purpose for our lives. And, it takes time...
Beulah said:
"I believe that we are ill equipped to handle loneliness when we are still struggling to discover our identities and our purpose.
I believe purpose has everything to do with it.
I believe that the Spirit of the Lord's aim is to teach us how to cope and enjoy wherever we are no matter the circumstance.
Many of us fight against where we are and that delays the process for us."
This last sentence is so true. Many times, we get so anxious to break out of loneliness, that during the process we add a lot of unneeded luggage to our lives. Eventually, there is a need to get rid of that too before God can start the real work in us.
However, even if at the time we don't realise that we are only aggravating the situation, even that eventually works for the greater good, because it might reveal some things to us, about ourselves, that we were not aware of, or never thought we could ever do.
In many ways, loneliness is like a strobe light, and reveals in the dark what can't even be seen in the daylight.
I also believe that many live every day with what I call "walking depression", like others keep going with "walking pneumonia". I believe that it is true for both unbelievers and believers. In fact, the world likes it, "they" like that smile, that laugh, that sense of humour, they like that personality. All that, and still lonely. They'll like the personality, in our most lonely time, when in fact God allows it to forge character.
In that sense, I believe that loneliness teaches us the difference between strength and power.
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Post by keita on Oct 16, 2005 3:44:57 GMT -5
Sis. T2SP, Thank you so much for opening your heart and allowing us to share your journey. May God bless and keep you, Patrick, and all who love him and wait for his return. Here's a forum you might want to check out: forums.military.com/groupee/forums/a/frm/f/90700030713God Bless you ALL for what you are bringing to this topic and giving to each other. |
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Post by J13578 on Oct 16, 2005 16:01:51 GMT -5
The post of This2shallpass made me think of when Abraham was told to go and sacrifice Isaac. Most of the sermons from these scriptures are about Abraham. But what about Sarah? Personally, I have never heard anything about Sarah, how she felt when she found out what was going on. And how her soul laboured through it all, all the extremes of the heart. Everything which must have gone through her mind while they were gone, and all she could do was hurt and cry. Then, the joy of him coming back. Is there any sermon or writing about that?  |
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Post by keita on Oct 16, 2005 18:36:49 GMT -5
The post of This2shallpass made me think of when Abraham was told to go and sacrifice Isaac. Most of the sermons from these scriptures are about Abraham. But what about Sarah? Personally, I have never heard anything about Sarah, how she felt when she found out what was going on. And how her soul laboured through it all, all the extremes of the heart. Everything which must have gone through her mind while they were gone, and all she could do was hurt and cry. Then, the joy of him coming back. Is there any sermon or writing about that? What a marvelous insight! I really appreciate the prompting to look into this. I found that there are actually quite a few Jewish writings and rabbinical commentaries (midrash) which attempt to wrestle with, explain, and speak to Sarah's apparent silence regarding the sacrifice of Isaac. You can read one HERE. You have also reminded me of our canon discussion here. So often, when people ask questions like this, they are told that "the bible" is silent on the matter. I accepted that explanation before I came to know and appreciate that there is indeed more scripture than the 66 books of the Protestant canon. I have found it is there that many such questions are actually answered, as well as that many important explanations and much wonderful illumination remains available to those who desire and have fearlessly taken hold of the liberty to seek them. But you already knew that! God Bless you, my sister! |
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Post by J13578 on Oct 17, 2005 3:14:11 GMT -5
Keita... Rechem, the power of that word... The prayers that only women dare to pray, rebuked by man - like Hannah for Samuel - but heard and answered by God... The tears of Rachel, wailing in the wilderness for her children, and God's promise to always hear and deliver... So many... Thank you Going back to my cave now, I'm sorry, to my study Oooooooh, what a wonderful day He has made! |
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Post by true on Oct 17, 2005 22:59:33 GMT -5
T2SP Just wanted to let you know that I love you You are always here praying for others and speaking kind words. I know you don't want to check your PM's but maybe someone has some kind words that will usher in peace during this season in your life. Once you can truly let go and allow the Lords will to be done. You will also be at total peace. Gods grace is with Patrick and his grace is sufficient for him and you. Every morning when you awake thank God for his grace and his perfect will being done in both your life as well as Patrick's life. Gods will and purpose is what you want more than anything. Just ask him for it and thank him for it. He loves you more than you will EVER know. I pray that peace finds and keeps you. Praying all Gods best for you True |
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Post by J13578 on Oct 18, 2005 10:55:14 GMT -5
I hope this is not off topic. I simply would like to share it because, in many circumstances - especially in times of aloniless - as believers, we are lead to think that we cannot allow ourselves to feel it all, and pour out our heart to God.
We are often told that we only "worry before Him"... I think that Hannah is a great example of how God hears our heart, how patient, loving and merciful He is. Also, how he understands the language of our heart and soul, and responds when even the ones who claim to know Him only stand in judgement:
Hannah's prayer before:
"Hannah, a pilgrim at the Shilo sanctuary, prays there silently and desperately for a child.
The High Priest Eli scolds her, mistaking her voiceless prayer for the ravings of a drunk.
"No my lord," she replies. "I am a tormented woman. I have drunk no wine or other strong drink, but I have been pouring out my heart to God."
"... she prayed to the LORD, weeping all the while."
1:11. And she made this vow: "O LORD of Hosts, if You will look upon the suffering of Your maidservant and will remember me and not forget Your maidservant, and if You will grant Your maidservant a male child, I will dedicate him to the LORD for all the days of his life; and no razor shall ever touch his head."
1:12. As she kept on praying before the LORD, Eli watched her mouth.
1:13. Now Hannah was praying in her heart; only her lips moved, but her voice could not be heard. So Eli thought she was drunk.
1:14. Eli said to her, "How long will you make a drunken spectacle of yourself? "'Sober up!".
1:15. And Hannah replied, "Oh no, my lord! I am a very unhappy woman. I have drunk no wine or other strong drink, but I have been pouring out my heart to the LORD.
1:16. Do not take your maidservant for a worthless woman; I have only been speaking all this time out of my great anguish and distress." "
She named him Samuel, meaning, "I asked the LORD for him."
"they brought the boy to Eli.
1:26 She said, "Please, my lord! As you live, my lord, I am the woman who stood here beside you and prayed to the LORD.
1:27 It was this boy I prayed for; and the LORD has granted me what I asked of Him.
1:28 I, in turn, hereby lend him to the LORD. For as long as he lives he is lent to the LORD."
And they bowed low there before the LORD.
Hannah's prayer after:
2:1 And Hannah prayed:
My heart exults in the LORD;
I have triumphed through the LORD.
I gloat over my enemies;
I rejoice in Your deliverance.
2:2 There is no holy one like the LORD,
Truly, there is none beside You;
There is no rock like our God.
2:3 Talk no more with lofty pride,
Let no arrogance cross your lips!
For the LORD is an all-knowing God;
By Him actions are measured.
2:4 The bows of the mighty are broken,
And the faltering are girded with strength.
2:5 Men once sated must hire out for bread;
Men once hungry hunger no more.
While the barren woman bears seven,
The mother of many is forlorn.
2:6 The LORD deals death and gives life,
Casts down into Sheol and raises up.
2:7 The LORD makes poor and makes rich;
He casts down, He also lifts high.
2:8 He raises the poor from the dust,
Lifts up the needy from the dunghill,
Setting them with nobles,
Granting them seats of honor.
For the pillars of the earth are the LORD'S;
He has set the world upon them.
2:9 He guards the steps of His faithful,
But the wicked perish in darkness--
For not by strength shall man prevail.
2:10 The foes of the LORD shall be shattered;
He will thunder against them in the heavens.
The LORD will judge the ends of the earth.
He will give power to His king,
And triumph to His anointed one."
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Post by Jasmine on Oct 19, 2005 22:25:20 GMT -5
 True, I honestly can say that those words would have encouraged my bones when my husband left for IRAQ. I trusted in God, I believed in God, I stood on the Word of God, I was strong for others, I was strong for my children..but yet there was still something about my husband being in iraq fighting in a war, that saddened, frightened, and bothered me. I can definitely say that when My husband was sent to Iraq, i thought to myself, Does God really have our best interest at heart..its foolish talk, but the thought did come across my mind. On the day my husband left, I cried like never before and the Spirit overtook and groaned before the Lord..When the intercession ended, A song came to my spirit "Everything is gonna be already, and there was such an undescribable peace that came over me. I knew then without a doubt that my husband would be ok, and on the flipside...I knew would too! . |
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Post by True NSI on Oct 19, 2005 22:39:32 GMT -5
True, this is excatly why some of us who are going through a season of alonely, do not talk to just 'anyone'. I agree The assumptions you have made about how I am allowing the Lord to work through this season, and rather or not I am at peace, are totally out of order. I was not assuming anything. I was just trying to be helpful and offer words of encouragement.You don't even know if I have read my messages. you said yourself in the prayer form that you have not read your messages. I am not seeking, nor do I require your instructions on how to allow the Lord to work in my or Patrick's life. Again you have taken it the wrong way.My relationship with God is solid. . I will leave that one up to God.I know you ment no harm, but sometimes it's best to keep quiet, rather than make assumptions. If you know I meant no harm then why try to blast me . No disrespect, or anything else, but, I am not looking forward to a reply from you. You didn't have to look for it but you knew dang well you were going to get it!Gotta go. Peace...Peace and Love to you
Right back atcha
Now next time read my whole post before just trying to blast me out of anger. Just negate the whole first line. "Just wanted to let you know that I love you ". And how did I end the post ? "Praying all Gods best for you". I had stop posting on this site for a while now. I made it my business to sign in and post for you. I just wanted to encourage you. Not only am I hurt and very angry right now. I said a prayer for your family as well as for your son! Thank you so much for being hell bent on making me feel bad 
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)))))))
LOL!)
