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Post by Hischild on Mar 28, 2006 11:01:58 GMT -5
Does a wife HAVE to attend the same church as her husband? If the wife has done her part and has attended for years with the husband, is it considered rebellion if she wants to leave?
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Post by anointedteacher on Mar 28, 2006 11:41:59 GMT -5
You are not under bondage....
AT
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Post by Nikkol on Mar 28, 2006 11:55:28 GMT -5
I think that a wife should attend the same church as her husband for a few reasons:
1) Unity - it promotes unity to see both the husband and wife worshipping at the same place
2) Less confusion - It can look confusing to see a wife at one church and the husband at another.
3) For the children - If/when one has children, it's good for them to all go to the same church rather than sending some with one parent and some with another or having them go between churches
4) Purpose of marriage - A marriage is suppose to show the relationship between Christ and the church we would pray that Christ and the church are together.
This is not to say that it's always easy and/or that you (general) will like the church. However, as a wife, it's good to be submissive to your husband and keep the situation in prayer. Discuss your reasons for wanting to go elsewhere and possibly a compromise can be made. In other situations of this that I know the conclusion was:
1) They both found a totally different church that they both enjoyed
2) They stayed at the present church and visited the other church
3) They both went to the other church
It has nothing to do with bondage but for the sake of unity, keep the situation in prayer and when the husband sees that the "work" there has been finished, then and only then should one move and it should be as a family and not as an individual. But it's important to communicate with your husband regarding it. I think it is such a beautiful thing to see husband and wife worhipping God at the same church. I wish that I could see that more often but as time continues, it seems to be becoming moreso the exception rather than the rule.
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Post by Beck on Mar 28, 2006 14:01:05 GMT -5
You are not under bondage.... AT It is words like this that causes so much confusion with in a marriage... |
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Post by anointedteacher on Mar 28, 2006 14:56:02 GMT -5
If I'm not mistaken, and if this the same person from another post.... She was really going through. If God released her from that ministry, and it is really too much for her, she need to go. There are many couple who are going to different churches. Staying there may cause problems in their marriage. I know what it is like to be abused by leadership in ministry and stay over the season when God released me. It can cause early death through sorry and distress. I became sick, real sick.
AT
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Post by Nikkol on Mar 28, 2006 15:34:13 GMT -5
1. God isn't going to "release" a person above the head of the household. That is out of order.
2. Just because other people are doing a certain thing and it seems to work doesn't make it right.
3. If worshipping at the same church as your spouse causes marriage problems, there is a deeper issue that needs to be worked out.
4. The husband is still the head of the household and as the wife, we are told to submit and they are told to love. Doing anything other than that is unscriptural. (now if they tell you to sin, that would be the one time when you shouldn't submit)
5. The wife is held accountable for if she chooses not to submit to her own husband just as the husband is held accountable if he chooses not to love his wife.
6. Being single and a member of a church shouldn't be compared to being married and both are a member of a church.
What it comes down to is if we want to do things based on "experience" or one's opinion or the Word of God.
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Post by anointedteacher on Mar 28, 2006 16:40:35 GMT -5
The Head of Household may not be obedience to God....
There may be some deep issues right in that church..... God may be pulling her out,
A husband was not ordained to control his wife... A wife do have freedom to make some decisions concerning her life and where God have her to be.... She is not obligated to be in bondage... They suppose to submit to each other.... He may not have a problem with her leaving the church and fellowship at another church, if that is what she really feel God is leading her to do.
I believe are some very deep issues going on in the church that affecting her spiritually, if it the saame person frrom another post.
AT
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Post by MsKayLander on Mar 28, 2006 16:45:41 GMT -5
I think we are assuming a whole lot of things... I don't believe GOD works in the midst of confusion and for GOD to release one spouse and leave the other in a church where things are going on spiritually just doesn't seem right to me. If there is a problem within the church body that the wife may recognize, she should ask GOD to show her spouse... and they pray about a release... As stated previously, confusion and division can and will come into the home... basically because they may be taught different things... I have not heard that the husband and wife submit to each other... and I don't feel that her relationship with her spouse should be termed "bondage".... we can cause marital strife if we don't choose our words carefully.... Let's remember to speak in love and seek GOD on matters that concern marital harmony...  |
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Post by anointedteacher on Mar 28, 2006 17:04:02 GMT -5
We are to submit to each other in the Body of Christ. If the Husband want to leave and she want to stay.... Do she have to leave too.... There is nothing in the Bible that say she have to stay in the same church with her husband.... He may have released her too. We can not assume God will not release her without her husband, we don't know what God will do. I'm not a person that will tell asomeone to leave their church..... I can not tell them not to leave since I don't know the whole story and what God have spoken to her and what she have been through..... All I can say she is not in bondage, That decision is between her and God.
AT
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Post by Beck on Mar 29, 2006 5:16:10 GMT -5
We are to submit to each other in the Body of Christ. If the Husband want to leave and she want to stay.... Do she have to leave too.... There is nothing in the Bible that say she have to stay in the same church with her husband.... He may have released her too. We can not assume God will not release her without her husband, we don't know what God will do. I'm not a person that will tell asomeone to leave their church..... I can not tell them not to leave since I don't know the whole story and what God have spoken to her and what she have been through..... All I can say she is not in bondage, That decision is between her and God. AT AT... I take it your married correct? |
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Post by Nikkol on Mar 29, 2006 7:51:45 GMT -5
Beck: I was wondering the same thing...... But to respond to the two posts:
The wife is to submit. Now if he tells her to blatantly sin, than of course she shouldn't do that. Other than that, we (wives) are held responsible to if we are obedient to God's word
There could be issues but God isn't going to pull her out and not the husband.
I really think I need to teach a class in reference to the women's role in marriage regarding submission. Submitting to your husband is a good thing. It is not a matter of "control" but rather that the man is the head of the household and therefore he has certain responsibilities. It actually allows for less stress for the wife in the fact that the responsibility falls on the husband to lead his family. A wife can make decisions. However, in a marriage, the wife should talk to her husband about anything that she is trying to do.
Submission to each other has nothing to do with a husband/wife relationship, if read in context. It was put there specifically for the wives to submit to her own husbands and the husbands to love their wives. God is about unity and he wants the family unit to worship together. There are people on planes going around praying AGAINST Christian marriages because there is power in Christian marriages.... there are two people right there that can touch and agree on things.
OTHER POST
Yes
From scripture they went from house to house breaking bread together. I don't think that anything you will read scripturally would prove that a husband and wife (who are suppose to be one flesh and showing us the relationship between Christ and the church) should worship separately.
Based on the relationship that the marriage is suppose to exemplify and the fact that they are one flesh gives us an understanding of what God will do. Additionally, as a wife is to be submissive to her husband.
I agree with what Beck said regarding this....... it really has nothing to do with bondage. And if people would really teach what being submissive to your own husband really meant and how it is a blessing and not a curse, I think that it would set a lot of people free because honestly, feeling as though being submissive to your husband is bondage is where the bondage really is..........
HISCHILD: Read the WORD. It is there that you will find your answers. We can't give you an answer based on experience or an opinion. It has to match the Word. Question(s):
1. Have you talked with your husband?
2. What do you mean by "you've done your part"?
And to answer your other question:
Rebellion isn't in wanting to leave it's what the "action" is.
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Post by Beck on Mar 29, 2006 8:49:27 GMT -5
AMEN Nikkol!!! Very good teaching...you said everything that I would want to say regarding this matter. Hischild stay encouraged.
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Post by Hischild on Mar 29, 2006 8:51:36 GMT -5
Thanks for your responses!!
Nikkol, I have definetly talked with hubby about this. I have prayed & fasted over this issue. (for years) My hubby just doesn't want to change churches. I guess I'm just stuck! God is not going to force anyone to do anything. Oh well....................................... My part, meaning I have worked in this ministry, attended services with hubby, asking God to change my heart if we're supposed to be with this ministry, seeking God on behalf of this ministry. Maybe I just used the wrong words.
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Post by Nikkol on Mar 29, 2006 9:46:54 GMT -5
HISCHILD: There is always something that you (general) can do in an assembly. It is not always that your purpose for being somewhere will be understood by you. It could be that this could be teaching you patience. Or that there are people there that you are being an example for. Or even to learn more about the do's and don'ts in ministry. I know that during the "feeling like you're stuck phase" it seems like it's not fair, so to speak. However, it does give you opportunity to learn (and even at the 'worse church' you can learn something). And at the appointed time, you'll be able to move, or because of your perserverence you'll see the change that you've been waiting for. So don't be weary in doing well for you will reap.......... but that is as long as you don't faint. Many times, the enemy can't stop what will occur but will cause you to faint right at the brink of your 'blessing'. So, be encouraged. Don't faint and if necessary encourage yourself and make sure that you are doing all that you can to be a light to those that you are around and to continue to exemplify the relationship of Christ and the church through your marriage.
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Post by anointedteacher on Mar 29, 2006 9:50:19 GMT -5
HisChild,
What did the Lord tell you to do..... You put in that much prayer and sacrifice, God had to speak and tell you something, He had to give you some direction. Who plant you in that church? you, your husband or God. What did your husband say...... did he give you liberty to make your own decision or pressure you to stay. If God don't change your heart toward the church, it will soon eat the inside of you....
Being STUCK is mistery.... But having your own identity in Christ and knowing who you are in Christ and your purpose and walking in the ministry and purpose God set for you, is liberty in the Lord. We goes through storms, pressures, valley experince etc., Mistery is depression and oppression and not liberty, it is bondage.... If you stay... Your heart must change to work faithfully and to function in that church.
Most married and some single women don't have any identity and don't know who they are in Christ. God see you as a couple and he also see you as an individual.
My aunt went to her grave not fulfilling her purpose in God for her life. She die when I was a little girl in the COGIC. She was called a Missionary, but God called her to be an Evangelist. I remember her prayers and preaching in the church basement. Women in that church was second class. She never answered the call of God on her life and her life was cut short. She was only 42 year old. After her death, I begin having dream... the same dream night after night for years. I didn't not understand the dream at the time. I was just 8 and wasn't saved, In the dream it was raining fire.... my aunt was tell me that she didn't go through the fire, but I must go through. She didn't answer that call..... She thought her identity and life was her husband, she gave her life to him. He was a good person and became a Holiness Pastor. He got re-marry only a few months after her death.
AT
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