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Post by giantsdodie on Oct 31, 2007 8:23:00 GMT -5
Jasmine and Beck have given some sounds advice.
In that situation I would be fasting and praying to make sure I am hearing from God accurately. I often ask the Lord to give me scripture if at all possible to confirm what He is saying.
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Post by Nikkol on Oct 31, 2007 8:54:28 GMT -5
Out of all that you have written, it appears to me that the main question is "How do I know if I heard the voice of God"..... and that's a question where I can honestly say that I don't have a formula. All I can say is that in spending time in His word it becomes easier.....
Now, for me, my husband wasn't the person that I thought that I'd EVER marry (and vice versa). My "list" of physical characteristics are different than my husband. Yet, I knew because I knew what God said, as well as I saw a vision. (and vice versa).
As women, we tend to always compare what happened before with what's going on now (if there is the slightest similarity), although this can usually work in a good way for us, there are times, esp. with God where we have to see each occurence as something different.
It seemed from your post that you believe that this person is your husband; and that you're moreso going with the flow. I would say to continue to go with the flow. Not with the mindset of "is this my husband" or "am I missing the boat". Rather continue to do what God is requiring of you and at the right time, whether it's him or not, the both of you will know..... and it won't be because you told him or he told you but rather that you both told each other.
If you spend all of the time you talk with wondering about what will/could/should happen, I think that you'll miss out on the friendship as a whole. I'll end with this story:
A father got a telescope his son as a present. His son was so happy and excited about the telescope. When he got it, he learned about all the parts of the telescope and how each part worked. He learned how to take it apart and put it back together perfectly. He was so happy that his father gave him this gift. A few days later, the father asked him if he liked his gift and the boy enthusiasically said "YES. I know all about the telescope and even was able to take it apart and put it back together." The father smiled and said "And what did you think about the stars?" The boy looked with a slight frown at his father and said "I never even looked at them"......
Here, the boy spent so much time with the "logistics" of the telescope that he never really got to enjoy the purpose. I think that this can apply to you as well. If you spend a lot of time thinking about the logistics of the whole relationship, you can miss out on the purpose that God has for you in it. Of course for women as they get older, and think that there "baby time clock" is about over, many times, their purpose is to look at everything with that motive. However, I think in doing so, it's easier to miss the voice of God based on your own thoughts. Enjoy the process; continue to move forward in what God would have you to do knowing that as long as you are in His will, everything else will line up.
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Post by kitty on Oct 31, 2007 12:13:11 GMT -5
Hello Guys,
Thanks for the feed back. Beck and Giants I have a question for the both of you... As you say God is making "presentations". And as what happens when one is presented with a gift or with an option... The person has a right to "refuse" or act on free will.
What would be God's purpose in presenting someone to you that you will reject? Or what would be God's purpose in presenting you to someone who would reject you?
In my case when I first received the vision.... I was rejecting it because I had already been dealing with a situation that had been false and because I didn't know anything about the person that I was seeing... But yet intially I was rejecting it. I think God knew that I would accept it anyway. Just as I think God knew that Adam would accept Eve... I know that you all say that He "presented" Eve... But that is suggesting that Adam could have rejected Eve... Some how I doubt that to be the case. In my prayers to God about a mate... I have always told God that who I was to marry would be HIS CHOICE. Not mine...
But just the same... I would wonder if God "presented" me to someone and they would rejected me? What would be the point or purpose? To me if that were to occur then I would think that i hadn't heard from God...
Giants good point about fasting... I have been fasting and I will continue to fast.
Any thing else that anyone would suggest in terms of prayer or preparation would be greatly appreciated.
Kitty
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Post by kitty on Oct 31, 2007 12:16:53 GMT -5
oh yeah....
Why is it that women then to think that God is showing them final decisions and men tend to think God is presenting them with "options"? LOL
If God is making "presentations" then would more than one person be "presented" at a time?
Kitty
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Post by newmercies on Nov 1, 2007 1:14:37 GMT -5
Out of all that you have written, it appears to me that the main question is "How do I know if I heard the voice of God"..... and that's a question where I can honestly say that I don't have a formula. All I can say is that in spending time in His word it becomes easier..... Now, for me, my husband wasn't the person that I thought that I'd EVER marry (and vice versa). My "list" of physical characteristics are different than my husband. Yet, I knew because I knew what God said, as well as I saw a vision. (and vice versa). As women, we tend to always compare what happened before with what's going on now (if there is the slightest similarity), although this can usually work in a good way for us, there are times, esp. with God where we have to see each occurence as something different. It seemed from your post that you believe that this person is your husband; and that you're moreso going with the flow. I would say to continue to go with the flow. Not with the mindset of "is this my husband" or "am I missing the boat". Rather continue to do what God is requiring of you and at the right time, whether it's him or not, the both of you will know..... and it won't be because you told him or he told you but rather that you both told each other. If you spend all of the time you talk with wondering about what will/could/should happen, I think that you'll miss out on the friendship as a whole. I'll end with this story: A father got a telescope his son as a present. His son was so happy and excited about the telescope. When he got it, he learned about all the parts of the telescope and how each part worked. He learned how to take it apart and put it back together perfectly. He was so happy that his father gave him this gift. A few days later, the father asked him if he liked his gift and the boy enthusiasically said "YES. I know all about the telescope and even was able to take it apart and put it back together." The father smiled and said "And what did you think about the stars?" The boy looked with a slight frown at his father and said "I never even looked at them"...... Here, the boy spent so much time with the "logistics" of the telescope that he never really got to enjoy the purpose. I think that this can apply to you as well. If you spend a lot of time thinking about the logistics of the whole relationship, you can miss out on the purpose that God has for you in it. Of course for women as they get older, and think that there "baby time clock" is about over, many times, their purpose is to look at everything with that motive. However, I think in doing so, it's easier to miss the voice of God based on your own thoughts. Enjoy the process; continue to move forward in what God would have you to do knowing that as long as you are in His will, everything else will line up. Thank you nikkol for sharing that was very encouraging. ;D Ohhhhh Miss kitty, whenever the time does come don't forget to send me a invitation to your wedding ;D I will also make sure you get one to mine whenever the time comes. Be Blessed Jessica |
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Post by kitty on Nov 1, 2007 6:33:45 GMT -5
Hey Jessica...
For many years now... I have known in the back of my mind... that when I get married I would have an entire pew filed with people...mostly Christians that i have fellowshiped with online at my wedding... It would be the perfect time for everyone to come out and finally meet.
On my second trip to Philadelphia... I got a chance to meet Nikkol and a few other women from the JBM board. We had a blast... I would love to meet many other Christians on the board sometime in the future...
Kitty
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Post by Nikkol on Nov 1, 2007 7:56:43 GMT -5
Hey Jessica... For many years now... I have known in the back of my mind... that when I get married I would have an entire pew filed with people...mostly Christians that i have fellowshiped with online at my wedding... It would be the perfect time for everyone to come out and finally meet. On my second trip to Philadelphia... I got a chance to meet Nikkol and a few other women from the JBM board. We had a blast... I would love to meet many other Christians on the board sometime in the future... Kitty And now that she's in Philly, I don't see her at all......lol |
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Post by giantsdodie on Nov 1, 2007 8:31:40 GMT -5
Hello Guys, Thanks for the feed back. Beck and Giants I have a question for the both of you... As you say God is making "presentations". And as what happens when one is presented with a gift or with an option... The person has a right to "refuse" or act on free will. What would be God's purpose in presenting someone to you that you will reject? Or what would be God's purpose in presenting you to someone who would reject you? In my case when I first received the vision.... I was rejecting it because I had already been dealing with a situation that had been false and because I didn't know anything about the person that I was seeing... But yet intially I was rejecting it. I think God knew that I would accept it anyway. Just as I think God knew that Adam would accept Eve... I know that you all say that He "presented" Eve... But that is suggesting that Adam could have rejected Eve... Some how I doubt that to be the case. In my prayers to God about a mate... I have always told God that who I was to marry would be HIS CHOICE. Not mine... But just the same... I would wonder if God "presented" me to someone and they would rejected me? What would be the point or purpose? To me if that were to occur then I would think that i hadn't heard from God... Giants good point about fasting... I have been fasting and I will continue to fast. Any thing else that anyone would suggest in terms of prayer or preparation would be greatly appreciated. Kitty Why would God make an angel called Lucifer when He knew full well that angel would rebel and become satan. Why would God make a being called man knowing full well that man would rebel against Him. Why would God even make a tree with the knowledge of good and evil knowing full well that tree would become an source for the womans temptation later. Why would God even make people that He knows full well are going to choose hell over Jesus. The issue here is CHOICE. God gives men the right and the ability to make choices. However one thing that saints fail to realize is that the promises of GOD are not contingent up people and their choices. They are contingent upon GOD Himself. I had this exact situation. God revealed a person as a wife. Had dreams about her, got SPECIFIC details, prayed about it, and God confirmed it several times. Yet I didnt marry this person because a few years into the engagement we had issues over some specific directions God was giving us and she refused to obey them. So I was at a place where I either chose to obey God or obey her. I chose God. Now I didnt understand at first.. why would God reveal this woman to me and He knew FULL WELL this would happen. Well GOD gave me answers. First He said you fail to realize what I was trying to teach BOTH of you in your marriage. He said I was trying to teach you TRUST. because there were things you were going to have to trust ME for in your marriage. I said ok Lord but we arent getting married now.. He said true but you are STILL learning about TRUST. You are learning right now how to trust me when you dont understand. when your confused, when your angry and when your heart is broken. She is learning what happens when you DONT trust me. Which is the much harder lesson.. O saked ok Lord but why me? God said You pray and sing all the time.. Lord if you can use anything you can use me I simply did what you asked. I would have used you to be a tremendous blessing in her life. I would have used you to help her father mature and become the man of GOD I ordained him to be. I would have used you to heal the broken parts of the relationship between her mother and father. God said even her sister is going to go through some things in the next few years that you would have been Instrumental in helping her overcome... But she wouldnt follow my instructions.. so she is DISQUALIFIED from being a wife. She is NO LONGER wife material. Now God said also.. because YOU did what I TOLD you to do and you DIDNT compromise and you chose to obey ME I am going to bless you DOUBLE for your Trouble... God said your wisdom will double, Your teaching anointing will double, your business will double ( I dont have a business yet but the business plan is definitely at least twice and big as the original one ) and I will bless you double in your marriage... God helped me.. healed me.. taught me trust and only 5 months later I met the woman of God I have been married to for 5 years. See we talk about marriage being OVER spiritual.. but marriage IS spiritual.. We always focus on stuff like I dont want to be alone and I want to have children.. but We NEVER seem to get GOD's vision for marriage at ALL. I know that part of the reason I am married to THIS woman is.. To have three children of which at least two will be boys and I know their names AND the anointing on their lives. I know that I am the ONLY saved and holy Ghost filled male child carrying my family name and I am the OLDEST carrying the family name and GOD says that my family name STILL has work to do in the earth.. so SONS must be born.. I know that my wife's family is very matriarchal and GOD wants to change that. I know that there are very few saved MEN on her side of the family and God wants to use me to help change that. Her family there are WAAAAAAAAAAY more saved people than in my family. They fast and pray and have prayer vigils over the unsaved loved ones in their family and the unsaved numbers keep getting smaller and smaller.. God wants to teacm ME and MY family how to do the same. God wants to break the curse of bad marriages off my wife's family. God wants us to be ministry partners. As my wife described it.. Im the tornado that shows up and wrecks the town.. and she is the Red Cross that shows up with the blankets, coffee and donuts.. SEE Marriage IS Spiritual.. and If you dont know or understand the SPIRITUAL side of your marriage... Its gonna perish... |
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Post by newmercies on Nov 1, 2007 17:41:32 GMT -5
Hey Jessica... For many years now... I have known in the back of my mind... that when I get married I would have an entire pew filed with people...mostly Christians that i have fellowshiped with online at my wedding... It would be the perfect time for everyone to come out and finally meet. On my second trip to Philadelphia... I got a chance to meet Nikkol and a few other women from the JBM board. We had a blast... I would love to meet many other Christians on the board sometime in the future... Kitty And now that she's in Philly, I don't see her at all......lol What  and you all didn't invite me. |
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Post by kitty on Nov 3, 2007 9:56:05 GMT -5
Giants,
Thanks for your post... I recall you telling me about that situation years ago. It givens me something to think about. In regards to over spiritualizing marriage... I didn't mean to suggest that marriage isn't spiritual. I believe that it is..
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Post by giantsdodie on Nov 4, 2007 8:49:13 GMT -5
Giants, Thanks for your post... I recall you telling me about that situation years ago. It givens me something to think about. In regards to over spiritualizing marriage... I didn't mean to suggest that marriage isn't spiritual. I believe that it is.. I believe that you know that marriage is spiritual. The reality is that when we are talking marriage many times I hear sainst speak of their wants needs and desires from the marriage but I very rarely hear them speak of God's wants needs and desires from the marriage. I believe thats why many christian marriages fail. No vision. |
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Post by kitty on Nov 4, 2007 9:36:51 GMT -5
I am not questioning that marriages are spiritual... But what I am questioning is the manner that some people decide to receive confirmation from God about whom to marry...
I believe that people can receive supernatural experiences that aren't God... Such as the example of the story that Livingwife posted... Or that people can look for sign and
coincidences and receive those.... Yet the relationship that they have with the person in question is already poor... and general wisdom would suggest that this is a bad idea....
What I am wondering is... if it is possible to be in a relationship that is ordained by God yet not receive any dream, prophesy etc about it... But just know that it's God will simply because the relationship works... The two people are able to walk in agreement, the are saved stable Christians, they love honor and respect each other, they want to get married....
are we at the point of suggesting that if they haven't received a "word" then it's not God's will?
Kitty
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Post by kitty on Nov 4, 2007 10:07:46 GMT -5
The reason that I am asking this is because I am now in my second sitaution in which I am acting on Faith about what I have received... and both situations are complicated...
The first one... which I honest don't believe was God was a case where I was praying to God about who to marry. During that time I received the first name of a man I didn't know. Let's just say the name was Jim.
For 2 weeks I pondered the fact that I received this name and wondered if I knew anyone with this name... It turned out that I did... A guy that I knew of in passing who had recently moved to my area who had been asking me to show him around. I didn't have a interest in him and he had given me his phone number but I had never called him.
When I called this guy we hit it off immediately... I never told him why I bothered to call... But during our first phone call... He said to me... You know what? I've heard your voice before while I was praying to God... I was praying for God to send me the right woman and while I was praying I heard your voice....
Think I thought that was a confirmation from God? You bet I did.........
And it was the first of many....
Now in my mind considering that this Jim" person tended to have a spirit of lust towards me, ended up dumping me for someone else... I always assumed that I simply hadn't heard from God but the devil!
If I were to look at it from Giants point of view I could then suggest that maybe he "disqualified himself" as a husband... With the other things that I found out about this man who claimed to be a Christian, and was diligent about us praying together about our future marriage.... He wouldn't have been someone that I would believe that God would choose for me and goes against my common sense...
For example... I don't smoke... I am extremely sensative to the smell of smoke... It irrates my respiratory system... I told Jim that I didn't deal with smokers... Jim lied about being a smoker.
I told Jim that I didn't want to deal with a man that already had kids... Jim then decided to lie about having a kid... He then confessed about this 2 months later... But by this time because I was so convinced that this was God I was willing to look over too many important clues.
The worst things I found out by the time the relationship was over... Such as that Jim also smoked pot... and helped someone film a porno for money!!!
Now seriously... what if I was continuing in "faith" this was God's choice? I told God I didn't think this could be of him... I did serious end up with a strange experience when I did that... (that's a whole nuther post...)
Either way... I am just thankful to be released from that situation and spent a lot of time in prayer to God asking how I could be sure not to be "spiritual deceived" like that ever again!
Trust me when I say I spent hours on my face to God about why that happened... I had been going to church regularly, reading the word daily for HOURS!!!
I had received instruction from God about other areas of my life... God had even given me visions that protected me from being harmed in a car accident... So I had no idea... why the "Jim" incident occured other than for God to let me know that everything isn''t of Him...
Kitty
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Post by giantsdodie on Nov 4, 2007 17:23:41 GMT -5
have to ponder a lot of what you said... But Supernatural experiences that ARENT God.. I have an issue with that.. As saints of GOD we are not to look to signs... we are commanded to know His will...  I dont believe your " Jim " experience was GOD. I would like to hear about some of the confirmations you had regarding this individual... obviously God wouldnt bring you a pot smoking, prono producer for a husband... ;D ;D ;D |
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Post by kitty on Nov 4, 2007 23:40:57 GMT -5
Well Giants,
The main experience that I took as a "confirmation" was what I posted above. I literately received this man's name while praying to God about who I should marry. I had been told by many people that God tells both people.
So when this guy, who I barely know, and have no romatic feelings for tells me that he heard my voice while praying to God about who he should marry... then I REALLY thought it was God. Especially because I could say without a doubt it wasn't because my heart was being deceptive... it wasn't because this was who I wanted.
By the way I never told him what I received.... I figured I had plenty of time for that... The only thing I said to him was that "I felt spiritually lead to call him..." So my plan was basically to watch God work in this situation.
In no time at all this guy was declaring that he believed I was his wife and stated that he wanted for us to start praying together. He would lead these prayers and we were thanking God for our "future marriage, kids and even grandkids..." This too helped me to believe that this was God...
All the other stuff was just really , and I mean REALLY WEIRD coincidences.
For example... I had an idea for a dream wedding... Yeah as most women do. Yet I had certain details that I wanted that weren't very common in most weddings. I won't go into the details of what they were but let's say it was very specific...
For example let's say I decide want a wedding outside on a beach and I want me and my husband to be to both be barefoot, wering white and I want to us be baptised together in the ocean after the wedding... Plus I was only broccoli to be served...
Sooo... if another person says... guess what my perfect idea for a wedding is?? And they described exactly what you have said to a "T" then you might think that's God showing you that this is His will... you may think it is a confirmation...
Another quirky example... One day both of us go to Target separately... While I was in Target I fell in love with some royal blue silverware. Mind you I had no need for any silverware, I wasn't looking for any silverware... But I just had to have it. So I bought it...
Turns out he went to Target and did the same thing... One the SAME day. Jim goes into a Target... he decided to buy the exactly same silverware! No reason other than he had to have it...
Oh boy we praised the Lord after that experience! LOL We just knew we were in "one accord..."
Gosh saints... I just shudder when I think about it... It doesn't take much for us to think something is of God...
Kitty
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and you all didn't invite me.