|
|
Post by nina2 on May 31, 2008 19:33:38 GMT -5
The chicken crossed the road because he had a big eg(g)o. See, he had those curly feathers, a whole four pounds of them, which is a sure sign of an Absolom spirit... He could not rule the roost, because of the old rooster, Ro-nointed. And you know what they say :Touch not my Ro-nointed! He was such a cheeky chick! One day, he just crossed the road and crowned himself "King of the Road". Link to the kingdom's anthem: youtube.com/watch?v=u6gFGqgKkNw&feature=related |
|
|
|
Post by anointedteacher on May 31, 2008 20:29:03 GMT -5
Why did the chicken cross the road Anointed Teacher The chicken cross the road because O'Hail Juanita Chicken, was on the other side.   of the COGIC |
|
|
|
Post by keita on May 31, 2008 20:55:05 GMT -5
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Keita:
For starters, I think we should ask the chicken(s) that question.
|
|
|
|
Post by And Such Were Some Of You on May 31, 2008 21:10:33 GMT -5
Why did the chicken cross the road?Keita: For starters, I think we should ask the chicken(s) that question. ROFL |
|
|
|
Post by keita on May 31, 2008 21:19:47 GMT -5
LOL!
I'm (CLUCK) just (CLUCK) not (CLUCK) a (CLUCK) big (CLUCK) fan(CLUCK) of (CLUCK) speculation regarding the motives of myself or the other chickens (CLUCK! CLUCK! CLUCK! CLUCK!). ;D
|
|
|
|
Post by Jasmine on May 31, 2008 22:11:47 GMT -5
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.'
lol wow
|
|
|
|
Post by Jasmine on May 31, 2008 22:12:38 GMT -5
Why did the chicken cross the road Anointed Teacher The chicken cross the road because O'Hail Juanita Chicken, was on the other side. of the COGIC chicken of the cogic. ?? I don't speak chicken so help me out |
|
|
|
Post by anointedteacher on Jul 23, 2008 10:57:26 GMT -5
A Deep Age Old Theological Question
“Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?”
Article From This Site here
Kierkegaard: Just because a chicken crosses the road it does not mean he is on the other side
Tillich: The chicken had the courage to be on the other side of the road
Qohelet: Crossing the road is meaningless
Mark: Immediately the chicken crossed the road
Luther: There I stood
Hebrew writer: The LORD made his road straight.
Calvin: The chicken was predestined to cross the road (I’m sure no one saw this one coming)
Arminius: The chicken chose to cross the road (ditto above)
Descartes: I cross; therefore, I am.
Job: Consider the chicken, Were you there when it first crossed the road?
Paul of Tarsus: The chicken does not understand what it does. The chicken does not want to cross the road. It does what it does not want to do, but what it hates to do. Who will save him from this life of road-crossing?!?
Jesus: Before the chicken crossed the road: I Am
John of Patmos: This is the message we have received concerning the chicken: he has crossed the road and there is no darkness in him
MLK: The chicken had a dream of a mountain top from where he could see the other side of the road
Feminist Theologian: Typical patriarchy. I know you mean a rooster. Why can’t it be a hen?
Liberation Theologian: Because poor people were on the other side
Jim West: Lord Zwingli commanded him, “Cross!” And the dilettante chicken crossed…away from a homeschool.
John Wesley: “About a quarter before nine, while the leader was describing the change God works in the location of the chicken, I felt my heart strangely warmed. I felt I did trust in the chicken alone for nutrition, and an assurance was given me that he had crossed my road, even mine, and saved me from the vegetarian option on the menu.”
Billy Graham: There are four things the chicken wants you to know:
(1) The chicken loves you
(2) The chicken is across the road
(3) Your sins have created the road that separates you from the chicken
(4) The chicken crossed the road to be on your side
Add yours here….
Todd Bentley: The chicken was barking like a dog and I BAMMED him across the road!
Bob Jones: I ordered the chicken to be plucked naked so I can prophesy on how she can cross the road.
The Spiritualist: To get to the Other Side
Patricia King: He did not need the cross as he went through a portal instead
Todd Bentley (again): To get ’some’ tangible transferable anointing
Lakeland Supporters: We’ll wait to see the fruit, who are you to judge?
Rick Joyner: for the sake of unity
Mike Bickle: Look, I know the chicken prophesied he would cross the ocean last year; but, he’s still growing in the prophetic. He is not a false prophet. We’re all under Grace now. But, don’t take my word for it. Check the scriptures for yourself.
Contemplative prayer practicers: The chicken did not cross the road. He stilled himself before the Lord and listened for His voice. Then the chicken had vision that he had been carried across the road by the Lord. Even though he did not move, the chicken was moved by his vision and felt that he had already crossed the road.
Todd Bentley: The chicken was in the front pew just worshiping, and the angel said, kick it in the face. So I did and it..I swear this is true, it fell under the anointing and levitated to the other side.
KIM CLEMENT (3 days before the crossing of the road by the chicken): The Lord tells me that in no uncertain terms that the chicken will NEVER cross that road. Wow, the prophetic word is really flowing tonight.
BENNY HINN: Well, of course my chicken is going to need a $12,000 gold-plated wagon to get across the road. You don’t expect him to cross in an old wheelbarrow while doing the Lord’s work, do you?
PAUL AND JAN CROUCH: Listen, beloved, if you want the message of the chicken to continue, please sow your best chicken seed RIGHT NOW!
BILL CLINTON: Yeah, I saw that chicken….Nice legs.
COLONEL SANDERS: BURP
MIRIAM FRANKLIN: When I see all this hyper-active, fleshly signs-oriented road crossing that tries to pass itself off as a move of God, I have to ask where do we find any of this in God’s Word.
KIM CLEMENT (3 days after the crossing of the road by the chicken): I know many of you have misinterpreted my earlier prophecy concerning the chicken, and it just goes to show little you understand how the prophetic works. (PS, the government has asked me to remove the chicken prophecy due to national security concerns)
David Pawson: The chicken is not biblical so it is fairly uncertain wheter it crossed the road or not. The chicken may not have been at all.
Jesus: Because the chicken believed in me “I am The Way, The truth and The Life.”
Rick Warren: The chicken needs a purpose for crossing the road.
Chuck Pierce: In the hebrew calendar this is a year of new crossings for the chicken
Kenneth Copeland I stood in agreement with him so the chicken crossed the road to me
Creflo Dollar The chicked sowed his seed to build a bridge to cross the road
Chuck Pierce: June is the Hebraic month of Tammuz, a TIME OF SEEING! God plans to give his people A NEW VISION of THE GLORY REALM and A RENEWED PURPOSE! I sense A POULTRY INVASION INTO THE ASPHALT REALM, and many chickens shall be relocated into GREATER ANOINTINGS!
Watchman: Well the chicken thought he was jumping into the river to ‘get with it’ … and when he regained consciousness, he realised that he was off the other side of the straight and narrow path.
The Self Proclaimed Prophet: He didn’t cross the road; God wouldn’t have made another side without running it by him first.
The Doubter: He didn’t, there was no other side except his
Brian Fenimore: Lately in my Christian experience, the Lord’s been developing this theme about the Chicken crossing the road.
Kris Vallotton: So, howmannyofya know that the chicken crossed the road?? That was a good joke right there.
John Piper: The Chicken is most glorified when I am most satisfied in him.
Mike Bickle: Beloved, The Chicken crossed the road.
Bill Johnson: The Chicken got what I deserved, so that I could get what he deserved.
Georgian Banov: Woooooah. ha ha ha ha. Shiggi. So, I was drinking the word the other day, and I read this verse “and the chicken crossed the road.” It’s just so funny, you know … God’s really funny.
Televangelist: Are you willing to cross the road and sow that $1,000 seed?
Kennith “Daddy” Haggin: The Chicken had the authority to cross the road.
John: And behold, I saw a seven headed beast with the resemblance of a Chicken which crossed a great black divide. The Angel then poured out the fifth bowl upon the earth….
Fundamentalist: In the King James Bible, it says “the Chicken that pisseth against the wall crossed the road.” All those other per-versions like your sissy NIV say “the chicken crossed the road.” So, everyone who doesn’t read the KJV is going to hell……….
Speaker in Toronto: he he he…. alright lets get into the word. Verse 7. And the Chicken crossed the road. Woahhh….. ha ha ha ha haaaaaaa *Audience laughs for 20 minutes*
Rick Warren: It was a purpose driven chicken.
Bob Jones: So, a purple colored 6 headed chicken appeared to me one day in ma’ living room’ and says to me ………
Todd Bentley: The chicken will cross the road when I allow it too
Atheist: I don’t believe there is a chicken.
Agnostic: There’s no way to prove there is or isn’t a chicken crossing the road.
Emergent Church Crowd: Brian McLaren was there
Juanita Bynum: Who Cares? There was Money there
Traditionalist: They followed the path of those before
Pentecostal: He did not want to touch God’s anointed
Sadducee: There is no other side
Charismatic: It felt Good
Hippie: It was far out
Pioneer: To Blaze a Glorious Trail
March for Jesus: To reclaim the land
Roman Catholic: It does not matter, all roads to Rome
Kenneth Copeland, Benny Hinn, Joyce Meyer, Creflo Dollar, Marilyn Hickey etc: To avoid Senator Grassley
Joel Osteen: Urr…. it is not why you should focus on but how the chicken went! He went in his gold plated private jet. God wants the chicken’s best life now.
Paula White: to get cosmetic surgery. She’s not a spring chicken anymore.
C Peter Wagner and the New Apostles: We are the road.
|
|
