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Post by And Such Were Some Of You on Feb 16, 2006 18:36:56 GMT -5
Last night I began reading a book titled, Helping Women Recover From Abortion by Nancy Michels. It is a book that dease with guilt, emotional pain and the emptiness associated with Post Abortion Syndrome (PAS). As I was reading through some of the stories in the book, I immediately remember a true story from 6 - 7 years ago.
There was a lady in my church who, when she found that her daughter was pregnant, took her to have an abortion. Twice. When asked about it, she said that she would do it again because her daughter is "too young to be a mom". A couple of years later, her daughter's first year of college, she became pregnant again. This time, she didn't tell her mom until it was too late to have an abortion. In no way did I judge this lady then, nor am I doing so now. However, how do you view this situation?
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Post by And Such Were Some Of You on Feb 16, 2006 18:47:19 GMT -5
For those who are wondering..... Post Abortion SyndromePost-Abortion Syndrome (PAS) is characterized by severe depression, guilt, eating disorders, anxiety, anger, lower self-esteem, addictions, anniversary grief, etc., following a woman's abortion. While abortion advocates claim there's no such thing as PAS, PAS counselors say they have witnessed severe psychological trauma in women, regardless of the number of abortions they have had. After a woman undergoes an abortion, despite her feelings prior to the operation, she often suffers from mental and emotional distress. The events and behavioral problems that occur as a result of these feelings are considered symptoms of Post Abortion Syndrome. Some of the events these women encounter, from the most frequent to infrequent, are: - preoccupation with the aborted child
- flashbacks of the abortion experience
- feelings of "craziness"
- nightmares related to the abortion
- perceived visitation from the aborted child
- hallucinations related to the abortion
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Post by lanl ns on Feb 17, 2006 10:56:28 GMT -5
I remember a girl who was in college with me who almost lost her mind due to having an abortion..... I for one didn't know what was causing all of her stress until she broke down and told us that she had an abortion......but what really confused me is that I have never seen anyone have such an emotional attachment to a baby that was aborted......
I went to a very middle class high school and abortions were very common among the children of "buppy" and "yuppy" parents....Dr. Squash daughter was not going to have a child at 15 and neither was Dr Watermelonburg's daughter....so abortions was something that was pretty much the norm in my high school as sad as it is................
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Post by stillfocused on Feb 17, 2006 23:52:25 GMT -5
Quite contrary to the popular belief that women who have abortions..have no feelings..don't care..are murders, etc., etc., and etc..those emotions and feelings are real. And they don't go away when you leave you leave the abortion clinic. Yes, one does wonder what the child would have looked like, keeps track of the anniversary, senses the time when the child would have been born, and many women still struggle with guilt, the self hatred, the unforgiveness, self condemnation, and all kinds of emotions that go along with the trama of having an abortion. Women are nuturers and our bodies were built to carry and give life..so, when an abortion occurs..there is ripping away of someone that was a part of you. And no matter what you have heard..that mother has questions that no one can answer and many times has to deal with grieving process just like one has a family member who dies. Because this is not a talked topic in the body of Christ..it's very difficult to walk up to some and say " I just had abortion..can you please pray with me ? I can't take the pain anymore." And those feelings prior tot the abortion...are the same ones that are present after the abortion.
Guilt, Condemnation, Unforgiving of self and husband or boyfriend. I remember some years while standing at altar my Pastor speaking words of healing that set many women free that day..He made mention that there was a woman at the altar who had an abortion, and that God had forgiven her..I know for a fact that many women received that word of encouragmemt
and were set free that day. In the situation where the mom took the daughter to the abortion..she did what she felt she had to do. This young lady ends up pregnant again..there more to this than meets the eye..this young lady knew the consequences of her actions..and whether she knows it or not..her life will change..
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Post by lanl ns on Feb 18, 2006 22:35:15 GMT -5
Still I agree with you but one thing i believe is that the girls in high school / jr. high didn't have an emotional attachment to the aborted child as i saw in the girl who was in college........
I believe that age and maturity plays a major role in how one handles their feelings........ If you have an abortion at 13 you may not feel anything because more than likely you really don't understand what is happening to you or your body......
But if you have an abortion at 23 you know exactly what is going on and the guilt and emotions may run deeper.....
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Post by stillfocused on Feb 19, 2006 1:14:32 GMT -5
LANL...I know of a woman who was 15 yrs. old when she had an abortion..I didn't find out until years later and it blew me away..because I was close to this person..it was my sister. She was not to tell and she didn't .. someone else told me. I know of a woman who had approx. 7 abortions and I believe no matter what the age; there is emotional turmoil..and if you don't beat yourself up..the devil will remind you constantly of what you've done. The outward signs may show up differently in young teens..promiscuity and other things may the outward fruit of the inner turmoil.
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Post by And Such Were Some Of You on Feb 20, 2006 7:48:17 GMT -5
Still I agree with you but one thing i believe is that the girls in high school / jr. high didn't have an emotional attachment to the aborted child as i saw in the girl who was in college........ I believe that age and maturity plays a major role in how one handles their feelings........ If you have an abortion at 13 you may not feel anything because more than likely you really don't understand what is happening to you or your body...... But if you have an abortion at 23 you know exactly what is going on and the guilt and emotions may run deeper..... also, some signs of PAS may not show up immediately. Some show up years later. |
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Post by nina on Feb 20, 2006 12:05:27 GMT -5
My mother confided in me about those things years ago. Even though she was married, and later had us, she definitely did not forget, and I am not sure, even after all these years, that she ever completely dealt "consciously" with it.
I have come to believe that it is also probably why she did love us, but as if she did not want to show too much attachment. She was a good mother, just not affectionate or very demonstrative in her feelings.
Some women go to the other extreme and, when they do have children, they become overly protective, maybe out of hidden guilt feelings, and also because they might have determined that, this time, they will do everything right and their entire life is centered around their children only, so to speak.
I agree that the age probably makes a difference. I also think that, even if it happens at a younger age, eventually the person will grow up and fully realise exactly what was done, and might have a harder time coming to terms with it. If and when this time comes, it could be devastating and manifest in many different ways.
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Post by keita nsi on Feb 20, 2006 12:10:58 GMT -5
I think this is such an important topic.
Abortion and its aftermath is the very undoing of so many women. I have also come to know that it is a secret torment to many women of God and a great hindrance to many who would become them.
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Post by And Such Were Some Of You on Apr 17, 2008 12:41:58 GMT -5
BUMP
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Post by stillfocused on Apr 22, 2008 12:21:53 GMT -5
And that's the truth Keita. I have come to realize that people can't handle your "stuff" all while expecting you to cover them and accept theirs. Having had an abortion is very hard for women of God because you are called a murderer, you are looked upon as low..but, with that said I can't understand for the life of me why you can ask for and receive forgiveness for commiting fornication, and etc..
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Post by And Such Were Some Of You on Apr 22, 2008 14:09:35 GMT -5
And that's the truth Keita. I have come to realize that people can't handle your "stuff" all while expecting you to cover them and accept theirs. Having had an abortion is very hard for women of God because you are called a murderer, you are looked upon as low..but, with that said I can't understand for the life of me why you can ask for and receive forgiveness for commiting fornication, and etc.. Sis, I am really not understanding your question however I would like to add something about the "murderer" comment. I have also had an abortion (prior to salvation). Once I repented, and ask forgiveness I no longer carry the labels that people once applied to me. As Madea once said: "it's not what they call you, its what you answer to." As you already know, I am dead set against abortion and I have a problem with a Christian choosing to have an abortion. However, I will not label someone a murderer because they had one in the past. |
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Post by stillfocused on Apr 22, 2008 14:35:35 GMT -5
Understood..it's something I can relate to all too well.
What I was trying to say about the murder statement is..I will use another type of sin..
when someone commits adultery they expect you to forgive them..yet if you have an abortion you the lowest of low..meaning there are those who commit adult on a regular who stand and pick a boulder to throw at the one has had an abortion..while they can't where to throw because of the big 2 x 4 sticking out of both their eyes..I had that clears things up..
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