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Post by kitty on Oct 15, 2008 12:48:52 GMT -5
Hey Guys,
I just wanted to pop in and say that so far things do continue to be going well...
Vin are those all the questions that are in T.D. Jakes book that are posted above?
So far I have found that going through these questions has been pretty helpful and the part that I really like about those whole process the most is that by asking these questions up front I am better able to guard my heart and be more objective.
Kitty
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Post by vin on Oct 15, 2008 22:14:49 GMT -5
Yes that's all of them.
Hey Kitty, I remember you mentioning in a thread awhile back about part of a dream coming to pass but still waiting on the rest of it to come to pass. Has it happened yet? Is this the guy? Because this makes it a little more exciting to me about what you're dealing with now.
I don't know if I told you before, I might have, that the dream I had 5 years ago that came to pass this past May actually only HALF came to pass. So the other half of the dream is floating out there somewhere in my future The part that came to pass happened so precisely that it makes me feel deep inside that it's not over. And if/since it came to pass the way it id, the rest of it has to happen. It's not like God to half-do anything.
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Post by kitty on Oct 22, 2008 9:53:41 GMT -5
Hey Vin, Nope this is an entirely different guy... Which is also why I am stating that I will pray about being in a good marriage... But I'm done asking God "who"? And I will deal more with what God actually presents in front of my face as issues that I can deal with...
I still pray and thank God for His protection... but the foreknowledge of who I am actually to marry... obviously not quite something God is giving to me personally.
Kitty
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Post by vin on Oct 22, 2008 15:27:37 GMT -5
I wonder when/if God will even present someone to me.
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Post by vin on Oct 22, 2008 18:00:07 GMT -5
I just caught the tail end of last night TBN broadcast. There's a pastor named Mark Grunger who has written a book called Laugh Your Way to a Happy Marriage. I'm gonna watch it in entirety on the archives. www.tbn.org/index.php/2/37.htmlThe main thing he seems to be saying is that marriage isn't about finding the "right" person. It's about doing the "right things". He said that if we would live by certain principles and learn to understand and accept our differences as male and female we would all be happily married. I'm not doubting anyone who says God showed them their spouse. This guy didn't say that never happens either. But he basically says that no matter who you marry if you don't live by certain principles, your marriage will fail anyway. I do believe that. I didn't start a new thread for this because I think it still fits into this topic. They were saying that too many people are looking for a "cosmic" experience and not doing any of the things that the bible says we should do. It's like I had said earlier. When you get done having dreams and visions and praying, you're going to have to get off your knees and TALK to that person you're married to. Everyrthing is not going to magically or supernaturally work itself out just because you say God put you together. If that were true there wouldn't be so many divorces among Christians.
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Post by giantsdodie on Oct 23, 2008 7:32:43 GMT -5
I just caught the tail end of last night TBN broadcast. There's a pastor named Mark Grunger who has written a book called Laugh Your Way to a Happy Marriage. I'm gonna watch it in entirety on the archives. www.tbn.org/index.php/2/37.htmlThe main thing he seems to be saying is that marriage isn't about finding the "right" person. It's about doing the "right things". He said that if we would live by certain principles and learn to understand and accept our differences as male and female we would all be happily married. I'm not doubting anyone who says God showed them their spouse. This guy didn't say that never happens either. But he basically says that no matter who you marry if you don't live by certain principles, your marriage will fail anyway. I do believe that. I didn't start a new thread for this because I think it still fits into this topic. They were saying that too many people are looking for a "cosmic" experience and not doing any of the things that the bible says we should do. It's like I had said earlier. When you get done having dreams and visions and praying, you're going to have to get off your knees and TALK to that person you're married to. Everyrthing is not going to magically or supernaturally work itself out just because you say God put you together. If that were true there wouldn't be so many divorces among Christians. Yet I would disagree on some of those lines because marriage first and foremost above anything is about the Will of GOD being done in the earth. The first thing I tell people to do is get a vision from GOD for their lives AND fore their marriage. If it is God;s will for you to be married.. WHY ? what is he trying to accomplish Secondly DEFNITELY pray that GOD send you the right person and pray that GOD make YOU the right person. I agree that no matter who you marry you will be challenged and you will have to deal with that person the rest of your lives and no everything will not automatically fall into place because God said " This is your spouse " But I do know this. Its easier to face those challenges KNOWING you are walking in HIS will. Marriage is both Spiritual and Practical... Problem I see as saints is we are either all Spiritual and no Practical or ALL Practical and NO Spiritual. Balance is the key to life. There are things in my marriage that are practical and just make sense to do to have a successful marriage, and YET there are things that the Holy Spirit instructs me to do for MY marriage because of the woman I am married to and HE knows HIS daughter better than anyone. You need both..
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Post by Rachel2 on Oct 23, 2008 8:54:32 GMT -5
"Problem I see as saints is we are either all Spiritual and no Practical or ALL Practical and NO Spiritual. Balance is the key to life.
There are things in my marriage that are practical and just make sense to do to have a successful marriage, and YET there are things that the Holy Spirit instructs me to do for MY marriage because of the woman I am married to and HE knows HIS daughter better than anyone.
You need both.."
Giants do you think Vin is saying that we don't need both?
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Post by livinganewlife on Oct 24, 2008 9:55:28 GMT -5
Hi BB,
Below is an excerpt from a friend of mine (Shellie Warren) who sends out inspirational e-messages from time to time.........the title of this e-message is "A Warrior's Wife"
I thought this piece was so timely and I wanted to share this with everyone....
Thanks and if you all would like to have the entire piece posted please advise...
And for the married folks, just yesterday, I was eating at a Cracker Barrel with one of my love brothers. I was looking at all of the old-er couples and how so few of them were speaking to one another during their meal (indeed a long marriage does not equate a happy one). I thought, 50 years of that? No thanks. But then, on the other side of the room, I noticed an older couple who were chatting it up non-stop. I was so intrigued that I went to their table and asked them how many years they had been married.
44, the wife said with a smile.
Yeah, she puts up with me, her husband said, with a smile as well.
I told them about how they seemed to be the only couple in the room that really enjoyed one another's company. The wife replied with a well-timed and unexpected sermon. Well, we have Jesus as the center of our life. We go to him, first and then he shows us what to talk about.
I thought to myself, And what does the Word say?
Where two or three are gathered together in my name, I am in the midst of them. (Matthew 18:20)
I thought about this discussion when I read that paragraph and that many times through all of our fact findings many people never really talk to Jesus on what issues to discuss with your spouse and when is the right time to discuss these concerns with your spouse......
This is truly an area in which the Lord is teaching me humility.......
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Post by vin on Oct 27, 2008 17:12:21 GMT -5
This is and excerpt from the 20 questions chapter in Jakes' book.
"I have often seen coupleswho married someone who was HIV positive, and together they built a great life. I have seen those who joined together in spite of the fact that one or both of them had bad credit. it doesn't mean that you can't make it. But I am saying you don't want to go into marriage in the dark about these and other important issues. Creating a safe atmosphere for people to be honest requires some effort and sensitivity. No one is going to be open with a sniper. So don't come in to judge but to understand and listen.
If you are not willing to be a safe place for people to be transparent then you aren't ready for a relationship anyway. Even if you make the decision not to pursue a relationship with them, you can still be a good friend to them and at the very least, respect their privacy by not sharing what they shared with you in confidence. Most people ache far more for someone they can trust than they do for someone they only sleep with."
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Post by Poetricia (G.A.P.) on Oct 28, 2008 13:04:31 GMT -5
Vin, I just wanted to say that for me this "Most people ache far more for someone they can trust than they doi for someone they only sleep with." is the God's honest truth. Thank you for taking the words right out of my heart.
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Post by vin on Oct 28, 2008 16:24:34 GMT -5
That got me too.
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Post by kitty on Mar 21, 2009 15:17:45 GMT -5
Hey Guys, I just wanted to give you all an update... I am still courting this guy and it is going well. From the time that I last posted I got and chance to meet his mother and aunt; and he recently got a chance to meet my mother and brother.
Both meetings went well... We are taking the time to get to know each other and right really focused just on making it to the end of my semester... But other wise this is going very well...
Just wanted to share with my Jbrefugee family.
Kitty
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Post by vin on Mar 21, 2009 15:36:38 GMT -5
cool.
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