MARRIAGE, DIVORCE, & REMARRIAGE

[keita]

PRAISE THE LORD, SAINTS!

Having taken a moment to, as a dear sister-mentor in Christian counseling encourages, clarify and balance my "5 P's":

Prayer
Purpose
Position
Passion
Patience

I'm starting this thread with 2 clear intentions:

1. to pursue a true biblical response to this controversial
issue of life and

2. to promote a scriptural presentation of marriage,
divorce, and remarriage which does not put YESHUA (JESUS) or
His followers at odds with YAHWEH (HIS FATHER and OUR
FATHER) or HIS LAW.

To that end, I have chosen excerpts from the book

MARRIAGE, DIVORCE, & REMARRIAGE: A Biblical Response to a Controversial Subject by Ted Weiland

(which I highly recommend in its entirety)

as a reference and study guide, with the approach of "searching the scriptures to see if these things be so."

ALL IN LOVE,

"keita"

[keita]

Marriage & Fidelity

And YHWH God said,

"It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him"…. And YHWH God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; and the rib, which YHWH God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
And Adam said, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh…. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." (Genesis 2:18-24)


This, of course, is the story of Adam and Eve. A love story. How thrilled Adam must have been when he first gazed upon Eve. How he must have treasured her companionship and love after living alone. How thankful he must have been that Yahweh’s plan for him included a wife and children. It has been the same ever since for untold numbers of men and women.

In verse 18 of Genesis 2, we are informed that Yahweh did not consider it good for man to be alone. King Solomon agreed:

"He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from YHWH." (Proverbs 18:22)

According to these passages, marriage is a wonderful thing.

From the beginning, Yahweh ordained and blessed matrimony between a man and a woman. He used it as a type for His own special relationship with His people Israel. He was married to Israel and they to Him.

Yeshua commenced to unveil His divinity by performing His first miracle at a marriage ceremony. All of this testifies to the fact that the sacrament of marriage is highly esteemed and even loved by Yahweh.

Would it not then be safe to say that the opposite is just as true – that He hates divorce?

Many Christians would affirm this by referring to the Prophet Malachi:

"For I hate divorce, says YHWH, the God of Israel." (Malachi 2:16, NASB)

Based upon Malachi 2, Christians have adopted the mantra “God hates divorce!” But is this perception of Yahweh correct?

Although He certainly hates the consequences of divorce, He was not speaking of divorce in Malachi 2 – as will be explained in the pages to follow...

[keita]

The Tragedy of Divorce


The tragic effects of divorce last for generations. In most instances, it leaves deep and often permanent scars on one or both divorced partners, sometimes even resulting in suicide and murder. Probably the most grievous aspect of divorce is its impact upon children. After studying 131 children under thirteen years of age whose parents were divorced, one report declared “…the most pervasive fact to emerge from the study was the enormity of the grief all the children studied felt over their parents’ divorce. They were sad beyond measure.”


In the Gospel of Matthew, Yeshua warned:

"But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe unto the world because of offences! For it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!"(Matthew 18:6-7)

While helping his mother make cookies, a six-year-old boy I knew used a cookie cutter to produce a heart-shaped piece of dough. “Our family has a lot of this,” he declared. He then tore the heart in half and said, “This is what happens to hearts when people are divorced.” This boy spoke more truth than his young mind could comprehend. Or possibly he understood the truth about divorce better than the hardened and callused minds of most adults.


As harmful as divorce is upon the immediate children of divorced parents, let us not forget that the sins of the fathers are visited upon the children to the third and fourth generations – Deuteronomy 5:9-10. Divorce often becomes generational, until one generation finally breaks the cycle.


Grandparents are also victims of divorce. When couples divorce, they not only divorce each other, but in many instances, they also divorce the grandparents from their grandchildren. Often, one of the divorced parents remarries and moves away with the children. In some cases, the genetic grandparents on one side are told that their grandchildren now have new grandparents and that it would be best if they stayed out of the lives of their grandchildren to avoid confusing them. When grandchildren lose their grandparents, one of the most important influences in their lives is sacrificed on the altar of divorce.


There are other consequences of divorce:

Divorced or separated men receive in-patient psychiatric care 21 times more frequently than do married men, and heighten their risk of cancer (5/4 World).

As a rule today, divorced women see a decline in their standard of living of about 73%.... Day-care costs, and the long-term effects on children, are other consequences to be considered.7

Divorce is almost always a losing proposition; it wreaks grief, heartache, and havoc upon everyone it touches.

Before deciding to marry, a couple should understand that getting married is like buying a phonograph record: you buy it for what is on one side, but you have to take the flip side as well. Divorce, however, is like getting the hole in the middle.

The answer to divorce, simply put, is marriage. Yahweh’s design for men is for them to cleave to their wives. Far too many people look upon marriage as an event, when in actuality the wedding is the event and marriage is a lifetime accomplishment.


So, does this mean Yahweh prohibits divorce altogether?

[keita]

Modern-Day Wedding Vows

While it is my intent to present a scriptural presentation of marriage, divorce, and remarriage – one that does not put Yeshua at odds with Yahweh – it is not my intent to promote divorce.

Although Yahweh has provided for divorce and remarriage, today’s marriage vows cannot be cast aside lightly.

It is doubtful that today’s wedding vows are the same as in biblical times. Although the father of the prospective bride presumably required the prospective husband to declare his intentions and vow to protect and provide for the daughter, nuptial vows are nowhere required in the Bible.

Exodus 19:8 provides the only example of marriage vows. Following Yahweh’s proposal of marriage to the nation of Israel, the people vowed to do all that Yahweh had required.

Nevertheless, today’s wedding vows cannot be flippantly disregarded just because the Bible does not say anything specific concerning them. A vow is always a serious matter with Yahweh:

"…This is the thing which YHWH hath commanded. If a man vow a vow unto YHWH, or swear an oath to bind his soul with a bond; he shall not break his word, he shall do according to all that proceedeth out of his mouth." (Numbers 30:1-2)

"When thou shalt vow a vow unto YHWH thy God, thou shalt not slack to pay it: for YHWH thy God will surely require it of thee; and it would be sin in thee. But if thou shalt forbear to vow, it shall be no sin in thee. That which is gone out of thy lips thou shalt keep and perform; even a freewill offering, according as thou hast vowed unto YHWH thy God, which thou hast promised with thy mouth."(Deuteronomy 23:21-23)

"When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed. Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay." (Ecclesiastes 5:4-5)

Although these passages describe a vow or an oath made specifically to Yahweh or sworn in His name, Christians need to remember that every word we say represents our King:

"…whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Yeshua, giving thanks to God and the Father by him." (Colossians 3:17)

If we claim to be Christians, everything we do is done in His name. Everything we do and say represents the King whose name we wear and whose ambassadors we are. This particularly applies to marriage vows. When a couple recites their vows, they often do so in such way that they are not only covenanting with each other, but with Yahweh Himself.

Most couples, today, vow to remain faithful to their spouses in sickness and in health, whether rich or poor, and until death parts them. In other words, while it is true that Yahweh’s law provides for divorce, most wedding vows preclude the possibility.

[keita]

Okay, I'll stop there for now.

I ask only that any discussion or debate (both of which are welcome) be in reference to the book excerpts I have posted thus far, and that it be based in scripture.

[keita]

Notes to come.......