Sexual Abuse

[abundanceofpraise]

I want to start a discussion on sexual abuse, I would like to hear how some of you wemon have dealt with this issue and how God Delieverd and healed you from sexual abuse.........I know im not the only one here that has been through this..........You see Between the ages of 4-10 I was molested by my father. also a couple of my sisters was also. It wasn't easy getting through this especially as young as we were. We had no idea what sex even was.. It was only by God's Grace that we are were we are today....I thank God For keeping me..... Even Through all That God Kept and protected my innocense. I give God glory for all that he has done.... I know that I didn't go through all that for naught. God allows us to go through certian things for a reason......Its through our struggles that we find out who God really is. Thats all I have for now but Ladies please share your thoughts..... be Blessed!!!

[nina2]

I don't know if many will come forward as you did... There are so many "reasons" for keeping silent, it does not mean that it should remain that way. There are still many taboo subjects, and it's not only affecting religious people at large, regardless of their actual religious background, it is the same in the secular world.

I think that the word taboo is very appropriate in this case:

taboo

NOUN:

A ban or an inhibition resulting from social custom or emotional aversion.

ADJECTIVE:

Excluded or forbidden from use, approach, or mention: a taboo subject.

Some words are just not spoken... and this one is one them: incest. That's what the Bible calls it, that's what God calls it.
There is a number of things not are talked about anymore, like cardinal sins. Some are even called "the most cardinal sins", like: idolatry, incest and murder.

That's where incest stands as far as God is concerned so, it certainly should not be ignored, silenced or shoved under any rug, and even less under the churches' rug.

I am not a victim of incest. I do hope that this will also help.

I am copying an article, written by a young woman who is a victim of incest. Why do I say "is" when it happened earlier in her life? Because the victimization, unfortunately, does not stop when the act itself stops.

The young woman who wrote this article is Jewish. The devil does not discriminate and the consequences of this evil are the same for all who suffer from it. By the way, boys are also victims of incest...

I also copied some of the answers to the article. Just like the article itself, they are all signed "anonymous". As in no name, no face, no voice, unknown...

That's not God design for any of us. I do pray that through your effort to reach out and be open about it, many like you will also reclaim their identity and be made whole, body, soul and mind and take back everything the devil has stolen from them to the glory of God.

Strangers We Call Family

Dealing With the Horrors of Sexual Abuse

By Anonymous

Life can be a nightmare. Every moment is dark and excruciating, a reality that can't be escaped. The shadow of abuse controls every aspect of life, every single breath of air. Paralyzing fear takes over while walking in the streets - too many men, too much exposure.

'Home,' or more specifically - your bedroom - can be that almost-safe place, but we all know that it isn't. It failed to protect in the past, and it simply becomes that space where you can exist in your madness, although paranoid of those strangers we call family that constantly walk by your door.

The fact is, there is no safe place, least of all, the mind and body that traps you. Tormented by the outside threat of abuse happening again doesn't stop your mind from torturing itself to the most intense extremes. It multiplies over and over until there is nothing left inside but a silent scream, muted by the darkness that shadows everything.

There is a gaping hole within, sucking away the hope for anything good, leaving only the most violent and intense emotions that seem more powerful than yourself.

Your body is just a husk, it does nothing - attracts only bad.

Petrified that others will see the feelings inside, you try to hide any emotion that may surface. Your body betrayed you in the worst possibly way, any sense of dignity has been stolen. You can do nothing but hate it. There is nothing that feels as hopeless as the wish for your body to disappear, knowing that as much as you try, you can’t make it happen…

Experiencing abuse is one of the most horrific, violent, confusing acts anyone can ever go through. I can only but give a glimpse into my world at the time. Thinking of it brings back the depths of so many violent and intense emotions - obsessions with death, anger, hate, sadness, blood, cutting, isolation, and complete and utter despair.

There are so many more adjectives to describe the pain I lived with, but I fear that detailing them wouldn't do justice to the power of my emotional life back then. All I know is that it is incredibly strong and can feel very real, and it took me a long time to allow myself to separate from its strangulating grip.

I am a typical eighteen year old girl having followed the average protocol for someone my age, attended the local high school, camps and programs as the rest of my friends. Except, I was molested and sexually abused as a child, not once, but several times, by several different people. And I know many, many more girls that have gone through what I have, and tragically, to worse extremes.

For some background, I was quite young when I was first molested and was completely horrified, shocked and confused after it happened. Not even having the proper words to describe what had taken place, I stayed silent for several years until I could no longer contain the pain my body and mind were holding.

Probably one of the most shocking aspects of sexual abuse is the identity of the abuser, because they are usually all those people we believe “could never” abuse. They are our brothers, fathers, uncles, cousins, family friends, the guy renting our basement.

This is something that begins within our very own circles, in our families, amongst our neighbors. It is a sobering thought to realize that they are the people we trust, the people we see often. And how frequent it is that they walk away scot-free, with their sick behavior being defended by co-workers, friends, principals, teachers - and most shockingly, parents - while the child who has been so brutally invaded is accused and is left to suffer.

There is no excuse for defending an abuser. Yes, maybe he is a nice guy, a kind father, or the all-too-familiar attempt at justification “he was abused himself” - but this is not an answer and in no way changes the situation. The facts remain that he is an abuser. He is accountable for his actions. The girl he abused cannot be held guilty.

For years I told no one. Feeling so utterly invaded, at the time it only made sense to want to shut down. Silence became the only “solution,” the only “safe-place”- even though there is nothing further from the truth. The silence turned into the worst tormentor and filled me with a hatred of the utmost intensity. I hated the silence, hated speaking, hated people, hated myself. Was there anything left to love? Wait, what was love? “Love” betrayed me, love was just a mask for the sickness man is capable of. Why would I want to allow any aspect of “love” to enter my life??

I finally told, not my parents, but someone I felt able to trust. Throughout the years of silence, I was completely petrified of telling anyone in my family what I had been through. Only now do I see that my reasons were irrational and senseless, yet at the time I could not see beyond them. For this reason, I'm sure there are many, many girls that aren't speaking out about the abuse they have/are enduring, and so it leaves the responsibility to the parents to look out for any warning signs, and be open with their daughters about abuse and give them the space to speak up if they are God Forbid in such a situation.

There are many things I wish my parent's would/would not have done in dealing with what had happened. As a whole, I feel that they dealt with it relatively responsibly (they took me to a therapist almost immediately), but I know that in many ways they were just as scared as I was, and completely unaware of this new terrain. Unfortunately, this was very obviously reflected in their behavior towards me.

They are our brothers, fathers, uncles, cousins, family friends, the guy renting our basement

One thing I vividly recall after my parents found out were the looks and sighs they gave me when I entered the room, sat down at the table, asked them a question. I felt labeled and rejected and it was incredibly painful for me to see because I felt that I was the cause of their problems and was suddenly destroying their blissful realities.

As it was, I was already overwhelmed with guilt, shame and doubt and the sad sighs of my parents in no way alleviated any of what I was experiencing. I know they didn't mean to relay that message, and were in all probability unaware of what they were doing, but it's so important for parents to give only the one message that they accept their daughters despite what happened, and will unconditionally love and care for them and do whatever is necessary to help them get beyond the abuse.

For many years, I have struggled to get beyond the experiences that have scarred me, but I know I would never have been able to get to this place without support from so many different people, and above all - my therapist. I know that in my case, without therapy, I would undoubtedly be a much more severe “case” and would not have made it to where I am now.

Another note on the subject of therapy: It took several tries until I found a therapist I was willing to be open with. You can't give up on seeking help. It shouldn't even be an option. For a victim of any kind of abuse there are going to be trust issues, and that includes trusting a therapist. It takes time to be able to feel comfortable speaking to someone.

I know for parents this can be frustrating. Please, please don't give up on your child, even if he or she is outwardly and stubbornly rejecting your support. This is all part of her confusion, and if anything, a desperate call for help. Encourage him or her to try again or to see someone new. Do the research, try to find someone compatible - it's your responsibility.

Another thing to keep in mind is that these issues can sometimes take a long time to work out, so patience is crucial. Of course, the abuse should not come to define your relationship with your child, but at the same time it can't, under any circumstances, be ignored. I don’t understand how parents can sleep at night knowing that they are actively feigning ignorance after their child has been abused. I can only begin to imagine the pain it is really causing the parent, but ignoring it will not make it disappear, and will only aggravate the situation. The sooner it's dealt with, the sooner everyone can move on.

And a child who has been abused cannot be judged for his or her own self-abusive behavior, because in all probability, he or she doesn't understand it. One just knows that it feels real and in a horrific way, comforting. This is why it is so crucial that abuse be addressed as soon as possible; before these pathological reactions can really take hold, one should be actively dealing with these experiences, so for the most part, one can avoid falling dangerously into a frightening emotional world.

But I am trying to begin a different chapter, and I must now attempt to take down the barriers I have so carefully erected throughout all this time. It is the most difficult course I have ever embarked on, and in many ways, harder than what I've been through. Suddenly, I feel responsible for myself, and accountable for what I do or don't do. I can no longer cry “abuse” for lack of involvement in my own life, or the lives of others.

I know now that I do exist in flesh and blood, mind and heart, despite all my attempts at making myself disappear. I, as a living, breathing human being, have the power to influence change, help those I can, and most of all - the power to create realities that are honest, meaningful and real. It’s easier said than done, but at least I have the knowledge that this too is part of life.

It is not easy to part with the past, and I will miss the paradoxical security it offered. I don't know how, or if, I will succeed in the future, but I know that wasting away is no longer an option, and like others, will fight my way through life, searching for the meaning beyond the despair.

SOME ANSWERS TO THE ARTICLE:

-I am very touched by what you wrote and I think that it's very revealing. I know, from personal experience, that one of the side effects of abuse is that once you do start talking about it, you often can't stop, becoming addicted to the level of compassion you initially get. At some point you are able to stop and move one to next stage of recovery. I'm grateful for you speaking out because I think it's important for people to hear and be aware of this stuff. Too many of us think that it just happens somewhere else, but not with our community.

-I have started this article, and I have decided to come back to it because at the age of 51 I still find it utterly painful and find myself gasping for breath. The first time I was abused I was four years old, and I told no one till I was 30. I also stopped having anything to do with men at the same time, and decided to devote myself solely to the spiritual in my life; the second time I was abused I was nineteen and a college freshman. I lost myself in my school work, getting straight A's and making the honor society, and the dean's list. I also started to develop a reputation as an up-and-coming poet, but it all collapsed, under the strain of living a half-truth. I'm still struggling, close to suicide most days, but I want to thank you for having the courage to post this for us.

-I just want to thank you for being brave enough to write this article. You write so eloquently and powerfully and I hope that this article is read by many since it is about time that someone has written about sexual abuse in such an open and honest way. May you be blessed to know no more suffering and to continue to give strength to others. Thank you.

-I read your article and was shocked to see that I am not alone (unfortunately). I was abused by a family member when I was six. Not only once but dozens of times, my abuser would come to my room at night. It scared me to death, and I couldn't bring myself to tell any one becuase I was so confused. Finally, at the age of 13, I told my mother what happened. She didn't believe me. A year later, my abuser was arrested for having child porn in his possesion. My mother belives me now but she chooses to ignore it. I am 18 now and I haven't gone for therapy although the pain and confusion has caused me social problems as well as academic and family issues. Reading your article has made me think about my future and ability to cope without therapy. I have rebuilt my life even though I see my abuser almost every week.

-Read your article with the sadness we all experience at any kind of abuse. For me it was also horrible, as I had a cousin who abused me regularly. I felt so dirty and worthless, never told anyone during those years. But by the grace of G-d and trusting in the Father of Lights and reading His Word; I eventually got married and had a son and a daughter who are college grads. God can do the impossible for us. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will direct your paths." It is in scripture. He is truly the Healer.

-I have just passed the half century in years and the scars of the abuse as a little girl are like hurdles i have to jump over at twists and turns along life's daily journey. It's been an arduous and adventurous life and i hope that you wont have to go through all the mistakes I made because of a twisted soul, which is what happens when that abuse is allowed to seep in to us.
For me there was the additional burden that when I told my mother she did nothing about it, fearing that dad would kil the person responsible and that would be too high a price to pay. That set me up for a lifetime of difficulty as both her daughter and then my sons' mother. All of my life has been coloured by the abuse which set up twisted survival techniques that created a colourful but tragic life.
But am I writing to depress you? Far from it .. .
Within teachings there is guidance through all the healing from our childhood horrors. Wish you much luck.

Amos Chapt. 8

11. Behold, days are coming, says the Lord God, and I will send famine into the land, not a famine for bread nor a thirst for water, but to hear the word of the Lord.

12. And they shall wander from sea to sea and from the north to the east; they shall run to and fro to seek the word of the Lord, but they shall not find it.

[nina2]

I think more people should talk about this!!! Its not good to hold stuff inside.......I think it is also imperitive to share your testimony on how you have overcome your situation...........You don't know who you are going to help.......This is just my personal opinion.....
I think thats whats wrong with this world too many people are keeping silent!!!

Have a Blessed Day
Jessica

(I hope you don't mind me adding your post here...)

I agree that silence, in this case and many others, has to be broken.

I know that there are many ressources available for victims of abuse in general, and incest in particular. I am not aware of how - and if - there are ministries aimed at specifically dealing with this issue.

Imho, the question is why are those things so blatently ignored?
I don't like to generalise, but it seems that there needs to be a return to more preaching about sin and the purpose of the cross.

It is sad when we- general - start talking about "old time preaching" and "old fire and brimstones preachers"..... I hope that there will never be an "Old time Gospel of Jesus Christ" too.

Nobody "likes" to think or talk about those things. It's easier and more comfortable to think that it happens only to others. Yet, it happens, daily, including in Christian families....

I think that it is important to break the silence, but just as important is the fact that there is hope for the victims, and that they can be healed completely, physically, psychologically and spiritually. They can be free.


This is only information. I hope that some might read it and that it will lead to more:

"Incest is an abuse that is most likely underreported due to several factors. "Ninety percent of all incest victims never tell anyone what has happened, or what is happening to them. They remain silent not only because they are afraid of getting hurt themselves, but to a great extent because they are afraid of breaking up the family by getting a parent in trouble." The act of incest is not always, and not even in most cases, a physically violent act, it ranges more in the seductive category. Curiosity or exploration, inability to determine the right or wrong in cases of small children, and just passive compliance because the perpetrator is family and that must "make it okay."

"Seventy-eight percent of all reported incest involves father-daughter; eighteen percent sibling; one percent mother-son and the remainder, multiple relationships within the family." Although the act of incest may or may not be of a seemingly violent nature, it is none the less devastating, both to the victim and the entire family. Family members may not even know it is happening, but most likely they do and ignore it. They pretend it isn't happening or are fearful of the "secret" getting out and destroying the family.

"Controversial theories abound about the family climate and the role that other family members play. In my experience, however, one factor always holds true; incest simply doesn't happen in, open loving, communicating families. Instead, incest occurs in families where there is a great deal of emotional isolation, secrecy, neediness, stress and lack of respect."

It will leave scars that may only show up at a later time in their lives.

"Incest is perhaps the cruelest, most baffling of human experiences. It is a betrayal of the most basic trust between child and parent. It is emotionally devastating." It is a contradiction to any moral teaching that might be received by the child.

As they grow either the sexual abuse becomes a horror, just an unpleasant role that is endured, a pleasure, or the child just becomes numb and detached from the act entirely. Most adolescent prostitutes come from this type or other abusive background. Excerpts from a book entitled A Rock and a Hard Place, by Anthony Godby Johnson graphically describes his exploitation's by his natural parents.

"Many parents are like mine, who see their children as possessions and operate under the guise of rightful ownership. They believe they can do what they want to with their children - and they do..." As a young child he was completely under their mercy, which there seemed to be none.

What is "abuse"? Simply stated it can be answered in one word - evil. It destroys lives, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It destroys families and individuals. However, God has a plan for our lives and through intervention, counseling, and instruction in God's Word, such cases as these can be turned around, not only for the child but for the rest of the family. Yes, even the abuser."

On the site of CBN.com:
CBN TEACHING SHEETS
How to Respond to Sexual Abuse: Incest and Molestation
By CBN.com

www.cbn.com/spirituallife/cbnteachingsheets/incest_and_molestation.aspx

On the site of Last Days Ministries:
Incest
The Family Secret

www.lastdaysministries.org/articles/incest.html

[abundanceofpraise]

I agree Nina, there is so much going on in the Church today! You are so right Nobody wants to talk about this issue, everybody wants to just sweep it under the rug and ignore..........I think the church really needs to step up. There are so many issue's at hand, not just sexual abuse either............There is so much, I think we need to get on are post, and get to the Place were God can use us to minister to the needs of the people. but first we have to recieve are own healing and deliverance from God in order to be able to help anybody else......Thats all I have for right now you all have a Blessed Night

Love
Jessica

[jessica]

I do know that this is a very sensitive subject and nobody want too talk about this but if a Women as overcome this and God has delivered, healed, and restored her from this horrific tragedy that has taken place in her life why wouldn't God give her the strength to share her testimony to others of How God has brought her out so others may be delivered as well..

[And Such Were Some Of You]

It's not that God hasn't given anyone the strength to tell; sometimes people wait for the timing of the Lord to tell it. Wisdom is key.

[jessica]

True and as the Word says " Wisdom is the principle thing"

[zelica]

Just wanted to share this article I found....... www.ezilon.com

OVERCOME SEXUAL ABUSE
By Darla Dawald | Published 04/11/2006 | Self Improvement |

OVERCOME SEXUAL ABUSE: Believe That Anything Is Possible!
Dedicated to Julie and those who have been abused.
Sexual molestation and/or abuse leaves a deep scar sometimes a permanent scar in your spirit. Over time this causes duress and major stress in your life. The Webster's Dictionary defines duress as a forcible restraint or restriction. If you were molested or sexually abused in any way this is a forcible restraint and over time you develop restrictions as a result of the abuse.

The problem with abuse is that it evokes such deep hurt and emotional scarring that for many the easiest way to deal is to suppress the emotions this brings out. Suppressing the past trauma can lead to flashbacks and a constant victim state of mind. Whether we realize it or not we actually choose to be that victim over and over again. Why? Let me tell you why, the reason is that by suppressing the hurt we don't actually deal with it. Basically, we sweep it under the rug. If you have an area rug and you put a big rock under it to hide it, every time you walk over the rug that rock sticks out and hurts your foot. But no one can see the actual rock however; we all know it's there. You cannot stop hurting yourself on the rock until you remove it.

Abuse is like the rock hidden under the rug. We don't really want to bring the hurt up, even though we know it's there all the time. We allow it to continually bring pain into our lives.

So the question is, how do we get rid of the rock under the rug?

1. First you have to focus on the abuse. Analyze the abuse. Did you cause it? Of Course not! Are you bad for it? Absolutely not! The abuser is to blame. The abuser is a sick person(s). It is their issue, not yours, that caused this. So understanding that we didn't want to be abused and we are not bad people for having been abused is really important in this process.

2. Let's look at flashbacks...what scenes do you see over and over again? What emotion does that bring out in you? I realize this part can be painful, however we have to face the emotions and the message that is repetitive in our minds. For me, there were many years that I experienced flashbacks, especially during my first marriage. I wanted to be sexual with my spouse but anytime he asked for it I would turn off or have a flashback during the lovemaking. That was so difficult! I had to stop and really take a look at what my issues were that was causing the flashback. What was the underlying issue or specific trigger for this flashback?

3. Facing the Giant.... In the bible there is a story about David and Goliath. David was a small young man. Goliath was a giant of a man. The army was afraid of Goliath. David single handedly used his slingshot and hit the giant with a rock between the eyes and killed him. We have to be like David. The giant in our life as victims is the abuser and the residue it left behind. Not dealt with, this residue becomes like a cancer eating away at your spirit, your joy, and your effectiveness as a human being. We have to have the courage to face the abuse and call it what it is. We have to kill that giant before it kills us.

4. Realizing and understanding the Shame. Everyone I have met that has a history of sexual abuse carries around a deep emotional shame. Somehow we accept this as our doing. If only I would have told someone what was going on in secret, if only I would have stopped it etc... The hard straight facts here are that you had no control over the situation. The abuser and abuse however, has complete control because we don't let go...we relive it over and over again. Even though many years have passed are you still allowing your abuser to abuse you by suppressing and not facing and dealing with the shame. That in its self can cause more shame much like a snowball effect...rolling down the hill it gains momentum and it gets bigger and bigger. Do you know what happens to the snowball once it hits the bottom? It is destroyed...it blows apart; it is no longer a snowball, its just snow. The shame and abuse is much like that...let it hit bottom so it can be disbanded and you can move on. Understand that you didn't start rolling that snowball...you just adopted it as it rolled and YOU can break it apart.

5. Dealing with the pain, shame, and putting it in perspective. So far everything I have shared with you is about putting it into perspective. So now how do you deal with the emotions this has brought out or allowed to resurface if you will?

Effective Tips for Dealing with Past Trauma:

A. Journal: Write poetry or journal your feelings that have been suppressed. Write a letter to your abuser. You don't have to send it just write it. What would you say to that person if you could? Write it all down. I wrote letters (then I burned them) and a lot of poetry, dark poetry but poetry nonetheless. It was probably one of the most important aspects of my healing. When you allow all that icky stuff to stay pent up in your head it gains momentum like the snowball. Putting it on paper releases the emotions and breaks up that snowball.

B. Find a support group: That doesn't mean you have to find a group and physically be there. There are groups on Yahoo for example where you can post and others like yourself will share with you and help you have a voice. Maybe if you were to find a support group in your area you could find others that have similar experiences and issues and build some friendships with people who know exactly where you are coming from.

C. Start trusting again! Give people the benefit of the doubt. Obviously don't allow anyone to abuse you. Have you ever heard an old saying that goes like this..."nothing ventured nothing gained"? It is so true. We have to allow people into our lives and hearts. We have to take a chance. Will you ever be hurt again? Yes. Why would you want to risk it if you could be hurt? I will tell you why, because those experiences help us to grow as people. You cannot put up walls and say no one enters this fortress! Many people have aided in my recovery. Had I not allowed myself to get close I never would have grown and been encouraged by the many countless people who became an important part of the process. If you give your trust to someone and they abuse that trust, new boundaries must be put into place. No one is guilty until proven otherwise. Do yourself a favor and take a chance.

D. Positive reinforcement: Stinking thinking is a term I have used numerous times during my teaching on the road. We all have stinking thinking. The key here is to identify the negative self-talk then simply change it into positive self-talk.

Here is an example:

This is what I call Reactive Self-Talk.
"People always hurt me and cause me pain".

Replaced Proactive Self-Talk
"Even though I have been through a lot of pain I will continue to reach out and share my life and grow from the experience".

Another example:

"I am always the victim...everyone uses me".

Replacement
"I was a victim to things I could not control. That was the past and now I am in full control of my emotions and friendships and the choices I make".

Start talking positive and in time you will believe it. That is when you will see miraculous changes in your life.

6. Dream and Set Goals: When we stop dreaming we die inside. Dreaming is a wonderful outlet. Set goals that are realistic. Make sure they are specific and make sure you set time frames. These time frames and goals can be evaluated and updated and changed as the need arises.

7. Believe that Anything is Possible: Some people call this faith. Having faith that you will overcome the past, faith that you will have positive relationships, faith to get out of bed everyday and keep moving forward despite the past or current situations. Faith to succeed! Just Believe!

Understand that this is a process. It won't happen over night. I was about 18 when I started this process. It took a number of years for me to get through it. However, I made significant strides each and every day for the most part by implementing these principles I have shared with you. It took time for you to feel what you feel; it takes time to deprogram all that negative, painful, traumatic stuff you have accumulated over time.


Grow, overcome, and succeed.
I believe in you!
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

Darla Dawald is an author, motivational speaker, and consultant. Ms. Dawald has taught seminars on numerous topics including Stress Management for Women, Overcoming Negativity in the Work Place, Dealing with the Pain of Abuse, and many other topics. If you would like to have Ms. Dawald speak for your group please contact her at [e-mail].

Darla G. Dawald is our Out of Stress Expert. Please write to her if you need advice, have questions or comments.

This article may not be copied or reproduced without sole permission of the author. Send your request, comments, and questions to [e-mail]

[kanyon]

So, where are you at with this Jessica? Is any part of this helpful to you? Are there some parts that are hard to take?

[zelica]

admin said:

So, where are you at with this Jessica? Is any part of this helpful to you? Are there some parts that are hard to take?

Yes Kanyon there is alote that is hard to take I still have flashbacks of my Father abusing me and it has been even harder bacause just talking to my Father he just keeps bringing up the past and keeps bringing up everything and tells us girls how sorry he was and everything.... its like Dad we forgave you along time ago...... I do love my Dad and I forgave Him so that I might be able to heal a go on with my life..... I dont think the pain, memories and scares ever completely go away....

[Jasmine]

zelica said:

admin said:

So, where are you at with this Jessica? Is any part of this helpful to you? Are there some parts that are hard to take?

I dont think the pain, memories and scares ever completely go away....

The memories won't ever go away, however the pain and scares attached to them will. That is one of the ways of knowing you are healed and delivered from past tragedies.

[zelica]

True Jazz, I really do try not to live in the past and to not think about it too much it will stirr up too much hurt, anger and stuff...One of my biggest things too growing up was that I always hold stuff in which is not good at all my over the years im slowing learning how to let stuff go so I can move on...