Post by vindicated on Mar 26, 2008 14:12:44 GMT -5
I saved this thread from the old board and even shared it with some co-workers and got some answers from them. Since there are a lot of O G's on here, can you find your reponses?
WHAT I WISHED SOMEONE HAD TOLD ME BEFORE I GOT MARRIED
(real answers from real people)
Cooking really isn't that scary...Really!
Credit cards are evil.
Never doubt that God has placed you together. To think otherwise creates an opening for the enemy.
Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. It's not always what you say, but how you say it.
I wish someone would have told me that it gets better the more you work at it.
I wish someone would have told me that submission is a good thing.
I wish someone would have told me to pray for my husband instead of complaining to him about him.
I wish someone would have told me that I was the one who needed the prayer sometimes...LOL
I wish someone would have told me how to stop my mother from entering into our marriage....and how its A GOOD THANG to not let your family know everything that's going on in your marriage.
I wish someone would have told me that its OK to Spoil my husband, cook everyday and romance my husband everyday and not just to expect everything to come from him.
I wish someone would have told me that its OK when my husband takes his shoes off and leaves his shoes in the middle of the living room floor and wet towel across the sink - ITS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD... I use to think so.
I wish someone would have told me that its OK when my Husband just needs some alone time - I use to think he didn't love me anymore...but everybody needs that little time to themselves every-now-and then.
I wish someone would have just told me to SHUT UP!
My husband is not one of my employees/associates but I must listen and "sometimes" follow his guidance (LOL).
My husband and I can not debate every issue, that I must pick and chose my debates.
Marriage was going to be a challenge for two people who are accustomed to being in charge.
My husband really, really really needs my prayers for His life, His ministry and for all that he undertakes.
I wish someone would have told me that just because He is a Man of God, he will not understand your every Need, struggle and issue. That it takes time to fully know each other.
Nagging accomplishes nothing.
You cannot, I repeat cannot change your spouse. You can change you.
Unspoken expectations can lead to hurt feelings. Point here, Communicate.
Your credit is holy. Treat it as such!
Quickies were not meant to be a way of life!
Footwashing and communion between husband and wife is a beautiful thing.
You’re never too young to participate in a 401K or IRA
Open a savings account and contribute something, anything every paycheck!
Never lead separate beds or sofa, my money vs. your money, in stepfamily situations your children vs. my children (they are our children), family becomes our family, separate places of worship, separate parenting methods and values or separate goals (visions) for the family, to name a few. What's yours is his and what's his is yours....Ours!
Marriage is not a fairy tale, it's real. Treat it as such and get rid of false expectations.
It's okay to bite your tongue and NOT share everything that you are thinking (especially when it's potentially hurtful)
Husbands truly are a gift from GOD and treat him accordingly.
When you marry a man of another race, there ARE differences other than skin color. That is the main thing I wish someone had told me. My husband is Latino and he is different from black men in many, many ways.
Laugh often, keep your business in your marriage. Be your husband's best friend. Keep him happy in bed. Feed him healthy food. CHERISH him. Work together on the finances.
Communicate at all cost.
A husband is not your child.
A husband cannot read your mind (don’t assume, ask).
I am NOT a mind reader.. Tell me what you think.
It’s a challenge, not a romance novel.
I wish someone would have told me that just because I am having a Bad Day doesn't mean my husband has to MAKE it better. And just because I am having a bad day doesn't mean he can't be in Good Spirits.
I wish someone had told me that there would be times when I don’t like my husband. I still love him but at times I don’t like him. I don’t want him around me. I don’t like the way he looks, I don’t like the way he smells, I don’t even like the way he breathes.
I wish someone would have told me that its OK if my husband wants to pick me out an outfit that he likes to see me in - Instead of me thinking R U TRYING TO CHANGE ME...with the neck rolling and ......I was crazy!
I wish someone had told me that I would fall out of love with my husband periodically, especially in the first few years.
I wish someone would have told me to be honest with myself. I should have waited a little longer and really thought about it.
Get the ministerial counseling first.
I wish someone had told me that it takes a good year to really gel and bring things together as one flesh.
"Don't talk to your husband as you would your best girlfriend." I couldn't understand that because I saw him as my best friend. But, as our relationship grew, I could see what my mother meant. I have shared things with my husband that vexed his spirit because it was female talk and he didn't want to hear it.
Wish that someone had told me...listen more, talk less.
You may be right, and you may even win the argument, but then you lose your spouse. And what have you really won?
You don't have to get the last word.
Just let it go and pray. Everything WON'T be done exactly how you like it
So what she uses too much toilet paper. Just buy some more.
Grow some thick skin
Men CAN wash dishes, and women CAN take out trash.
That the devil hates marriage.
Marriage is a covenant.
There is a rainbow at the end of the storm.
Marriage gets even better with time.
Also, true lovemaking starts in the morning by being considerate of one another and helpful.
I wish someone had told me to pray and make sure it’s God. (divorced)
Don’t do it! For God’s sake don’t do it! (divorced)
(1st marriage) Don’t do it!
(2nd marriage) Keep yourself up. Keep your body and appearance together and in tact.
(1st marriage) Step back and take a good look at the person because they’re not going to change.
(1st marriage) If someone says don’t do it, don’t just ignore it. Pay attention.
(2nd marriage) Men really do want sex all the time. You go into marriage thinking of how you’re going to build your life and your home. They go into marriage thinking that now they can get all the sex they want.
Don’t go into it with preconceived notions or expectations. Go into it with an open heart and open mind.
Your husband doesn’t like for you to be on the phone when he comes in from work. Don’t let him come home to you in a house robe. Fix yourself up before he comes home. Put some clothes on, comb your hair.
WHAT I WISHED SOMEONE HAD TOLD ME BEFORE I GOT MARRIED
(real answers from real people)
Cooking really isn't that scary...Really!
Credit cards are evil.
Never doubt that God has placed you together. To think otherwise creates an opening for the enemy.
Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. It's not always what you say, but how you say it.
I wish someone would have told me that it gets better the more you work at it.
I wish someone would have told me that submission is a good thing.
I wish someone would have told me to pray for my husband instead of complaining to him about him.
I wish someone would have told me that I was the one who needed the prayer sometimes...LOL
I wish someone would have told me how to stop my mother from entering into our marriage....and how its A GOOD THANG to not let your family know everything that's going on in your marriage.
I wish someone would have told me that its OK to Spoil my husband, cook everyday and romance my husband everyday and not just to expect everything to come from him.
I wish someone would have told me that its OK when my husband takes his shoes off and leaves his shoes in the middle of the living room floor and wet towel across the sink - ITS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD... I use to think so.
I wish someone would have told me that its OK when my Husband just needs some alone time - I use to think he didn't love me anymore...but everybody needs that little time to themselves every-now-and then.
I wish someone would have just told me to SHUT UP!
My husband is not one of my employees/associates but I must listen and "sometimes" follow his guidance (LOL).
My husband and I can not debate every issue, that I must pick and chose my debates.
Marriage was going to be a challenge for two people who are accustomed to being in charge.
My husband really, really really needs my prayers for His life, His ministry and for all that he undertakes.
I wish someone would have told me that just because He is a Man of God, he will not understand your every Need, struggle and issue. That it takes time to fully know each other.
Nagging accomplishes nothing.
You cannot, I repeat cannot change your spouse. You can change you.
Unspoken expectations can lead to hurt feelings. Point here, Communicate.
Your credit is holy. Treat it as such!
Quickies were not meant to be a way of life!
Footwashing and communion between husband and wife is a beautiful thing.
You’re never too young to participate in a 401K or IRA
Open a savings account and contribute something, anything every paycheck!
Never lead separate beds or sofa, my money vs. your money, in stepfamily situations your children vs. my children (they are our children), family becomes our family, separate places of worship, separate parenting methods and values or separate goals (visions) for the family, to name a few. What's yours is his and what's his is yours....Ours!
Marriage is not a fairy tale, it's real. Treat it as such and get rid of false expectations.
It's okay to bite your tongue and NOT share everything that you are thinking (especially when it's potentially hurtful)
Husbands truly are a gift from GOD and treat him accordingly.
When you marry a man of another race, there ARE differences other than skin color. That is the main thing I wish someone had told me. My husband is Latino and he is different from black men in many, many ways.
Laugh often, keep your business in your marriage. Be your husband's best friend. Keep him happy in bed. Feed him healthy food. CHERISH him. Work together on the finances.
Communicate at all cost.
A husband is not your child.
A husband cannot read your mind (don’t assume, ask).
I am NOT a mind reader.. Tell me what you think.
It’s a challenge, not a romance novel.
I wish someone would have told me that just because I am having a Bad Day doesn't mean my husband has to MAKE it better. And just because I am having a bad day doesn't mean he can't be in Good Spirits.
I wish someone had told me that there would be times when I don’t like my husband. I still love him but at times I don’t like him. I don’t want him around me. I don’t like the way he looks, I don’t like the way he smells, I don’t even like the way he breathes.
I wish someone would have told me that its OK if my husband wants to pick me out an outfit that he likes to see me in - Instead of me thinking R U TRYING TO CHANGE ME...with the neck rolling and ......I was crazy!
I wish someone had told me that I would fall out of love with my husband periodically, especially in the first few years.
I wish someone would have told me to be honest with myself. I should have waited a little longer and really thought about it.
Get the ministerial counseling first.
I wish someone had told me that it takes a good year to really gel and bring things together as one flesh.
"Don't talk to your husband as you would your best girlfriend." I couldn't understand that because I saw him as my best friend. But, as our relationship grew, I could see what my mother meant. I have shared things with my husband that vexed his spirit because it was female talk and he didn't want to hear it.
Wish that someone had told me...listen more, talk less.
You may be right, and you may even win the argument, but then you lose your spouse. And what have you really won?
You don't have to get the last word.
Just let it go and pray. Everything WON'T be done exactly how you like it
So what she uses too much toilet paper. Just buy some more.
Grow some thick skin
Men CAN wash dishes, and women CAN take out trash.
That the devil hates marriage.
Marriage is a covenant.
There is a rainbow at the end of the storm.
Marriage gets even better with time.
Also, true lovemaking starts in the morning by being considerate of one another and helpful.
I wish someone had told me to pray and make sure it’s God. (divorced)
Don’t do it! For God’s sake don’t do it! (divorced)
(1st marriage) Don’t do it!
(2nd marriage) Keep yourself up. Keep your body and appearance together and in tact.
(1st marriage) Step back and take a good look at the person because they’re not going to change.
(1st marriage) If someone says don’t do it, don’t just ignore it. Pay attention.
(2nd marriage) Men really do want sex all the time. You go into marriage thinking of how you’re going to build your life and your home. They go into marriage thinking that now they can get all the sex they want.
Don’t go into it with preconceived notions or expectations. Go into it with an open heart and open mind.
Your husband doesn’t like for you to be on the phone when he comes in from work. Don’t let him come home to you in a house robe. Fix yourself up before he comes home. Put some clothes on, comb your hair.
