The IDEAL Single's Ministry

[vindicated]

Hey yawl,

I want to throw this out there for all singles especially....marrieds if yawl can remember that far back you can input too....

But as a single person, what would your idea be of the ideal singles ministry in your local church? Or do you feel that it already is ideal, meaning everything you think or would like for it to be.

What kinds of meetings, activities, outings....anything that you would love to see in a singles ministry.

I have my ideas and will share them too but I want to hear from you guys.

This is on my mind because our church is trying to get the singles ministry up and running again......okay let's talk.

[Rachel2]

The ideal Single's ministry would be one where the singles ACTUALLY attend meetings/gatherings and were truly interested in learning how to live a victorious holy life.

I am the most recent President of the singles ministry at my church and now I understand why the past two presidents were unsuccessful. The singles at my church PRETEND to want to live victorious holy lives on Sunday morning to impress the pastor, however, when it is time to attend an actual meeting, they have every excuse in the book for not being able to make it.

I have tried to make the meeting times as convenient for them as possible within my own obligations---even taking their suggestions about where to have the meetings as well as taking a survey to find out what kinds of topics THEY would like to discuss and what activities THEY would like to do. Yet, when it's meeting time, only one or none of them actually show up.

I have tried to explain to my pastor (with no success) that maybe it is just not time for a singles ministry in this church. Of course, he feels that I should continue whether anyone shows up or not.

Of course this is very frustrating for me especially since it was not my idea to be President in the first place. I didn't even want to be involved with the singles ministry but accepted the assignment out of obedience to leadership.

I already have more than enough to do and really don't need this aggravation.

(Yes, I know my attitude about this is bad )

[vindicated]

GIRL IS YOU COGIC? Cause if that don't sound like a COGIC Pastor.... I know cause I was raised in it and just came out about 4 years ago. They are notorious for putting you in positions you don't ask or want to be in, mainly just because you're faithful. And making you stay and some will hit you with guilt if you try to leave it. (be thou faithful until death )

I understand your frustration. As a single I can probably relate to why many don't show up or commit to it.

Depending on how things played out before they might not believe anything you say, about how things could or can be. That makes it hard on you because you have no control over what happened before you got there, but they don't trust you. They might feel too that you don't really want the position. If they feel you don't really want to be there they won't commit because they don't trust you. They may feel like you'll catch the first train outta there as soon as you can.

Some might feel like they've heard it all before. ....I know that's how I feel.

My ideal singles ministry would be one that...

1. We do more than sit around and talk about being single! I KNOW how to be single. I AM single! Why do people think singles ministry should be always about talking about how to be a single Christian. How to cope with being a single Christian. How to prepare for marriage. Don't jump the gun on God and try to create a season. yada yada. There are hundreds of other subjects we could discuss. Like how to write a business plan or how to get published or starting a business.

2. Instead of always sitting around talking about being single lets GO SOMEWHERE. Let's go to a movie. My ideal singles ministry would at least go see the Tyler Perry movies when they come out. There's no nudity in them no foul language and kids can watch them. So single parents could participate in that too.

But oh no! you have the "deep" singles that are so scared somebody's gonna say the "d" word in the movie! They start that mess and throw a wrench in the whole program.

3. We could have lots of activites like baseball, volleyball, walking, anything to get a stay active. I am so tired of always watching the men run around on the basketball courts sometimes shirtless while the women stand around and watch. We need to be throwing a ball or something too!

4. FELLOWSHIP WITH OTHER SINGLES MINISTRIES. Get together with singles groups from other churches and OH MY GOD OTHER DENOMINATIONS and fellowship with them. Many larger churches singles ministries have sports activities and leagues already. I'm sure many of them would love to have more to fellowship with. I believe quite a few husbands and wives would be found this way.

5. A formal dinner once a years is cool but we should get together more often than that in less formal settings. Poetry readings, talent shows, etc, and again, invite singles from other ministries. Yes, even white people!

6. I know married people mean well BUT most of them have no place in a singles ministry. If I go to another singles gathering with married people standing in front of me telling me how to be single.... and they been married for umteen years!!!!

7. LIGHTEN UP! Everything is not so serious. Lets just get together and play card games or word games or just watch a funny movie and laugh.

One of the biggest trials of being single is not having anyone to share with. Of course nothing takes the place of a mate, but companionship comes in many forms. Many singles are ALONE all the time. They need to be talked to, embraced, laughed with and even laughed at. We need company. A lot of people don't know how to act in the company of others because they are always alone. Their social skills are suffering.

8. Coordinate with married couples or teenagers for childcare so the single parents can enjoy the activities and outings too. When we do things at our church a couple of our teens will agree with watch our kids and we pay them like two dollars per child. They keep the little ones busy and they get to split the tips we gave. It's a win win.

Okay I'm done for now.

I guess you can sense some of my frustration too.

[Rachel2]

Yes, this is a COGIC Pastor and I was not raised OR saved in COGIC. I just joined it less than two years ago. SO, this is a COMPLETELY different experience for me, among other things that COGICs do.

Any how, all of your ideas are wonderful and I have many of the same ones, the problem is the singles won't participate.

It's not a matter of them not trusting me, it's a matter of me being the President for real and not letting one of them run it from behind the scene. That's a different subject. But, I feel if you want to run it, then you should have gone to the Pastor long before I came on the scene and told him that you wanted to be the President of the Singles Ministry.

I am nobody's puppet...don't think you are going to put me out front and you call the shots...I don't roll like that.

I have a wealth of information that God has given me to help them and I was praying about this the other morning. The Lord told me to record the information for my broadcast. If they won't receive it, then somebody else in the world will benefit.

God's word "never returns to Him void, but it accomplishes that which He sends it out to do" AMEN.

[vindicated]

"It's not a matter of them not trusting me, it's a matter of me being the President for real and not letting one of them run it from behind the scene. That's a different subject. But, I feel if you want to run it, then you should have gone to the Pastor long before I came on the scene and told him that you wanted to be the President of the Singles Ministry. "

Oh okay. Seen that too! It makes you wonder, why they didn't volunteer. :-/It's one thing to offer support but trying to drive from the back seat is another thing altogether. Those are the ones who have something to say about every little thing but they will never step up and do anything themselves. The worst part about them is they usually carry a group with them.

[Rachel2]

Oh okay. Seen that too! It makes you wonder, why they didn't volunteer. It's one thing to offer support but trying to drive from the back seat is another thing altogether. Those are the ones who have something to say about every little thing but they will never step up and do anything themselves. The worst part about them is they usually carry a group with them.

Exactly, this person does carry a group with him. They move when he says move. He even made the statement once that he would make sure they came to the next meeting.

Notice he said that HE would make sure they came, letting me know that he runs them. Well, when he found out that he couldn't run me, none of them showed up, including him.

But, the devil is a liar....God still has the final word. Like I said, someone else in the world will benefit from what God has given me.

Personally, I feel sorry for all of them because this is not about me, it's about them rejecting help from God. AND you know they will pay the price in the long run.

[vindicated]

Oh yeah. It can be hard enough when you have help and take advantage of it. But to get caught up in mess.... I imagine his "followers" are mostly female..

[krazeeboi]

Even if my church had a single's ministry, I would actually have no desire to show up or participate in anything. To me, that's why I have friends and belong to other organizations. But hey, I'm a guy, so my perspective is a little different.

[Rachel2]

Krazeeboi that's fine because I never belonged to a singles ministry either. I had friends to help me make it through.

However, I believe that you and I have been saved for quite some time and people just aren't what they use to be. What I have seen over the years is that people have become more self-centered and completely selfish, especially in the church. We don't take the time and are no longer willing to take new converts under our wings and help them as they mature in Christ.

And the ones who are completey unchurched coming to Christ for the first time definitely need a single's ministry. I am talking about a generation of people, not just singles, where no one they know ever went to church. Not grandma or mamma or daddy, aunt or uncle. How are they to survive without a single's ministry? Everybody they know still hang out in the streets doing what sinners do.

Sunday morning service and once a week bible study is not enough. They still need smaller group interaction focused on their needs.

[Rachel2]

Jun 27, 2008 16:30:27 GMT -5 @vindicated said:

Oh yeah. It can be hard enough when you have help and take advantage of it. But to get caught up in mess.... I imagine his "followers" are mostly female..

You got it! They are mostly females and young teen boys...which makes me go ummmmm.......