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Post by anointedteacher on Jul 17, 2008 13:40:13 GMT -5
Every relationship need to be defined
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Post by stillfocused on Jul 17, 2008 14:59:27 GMT -5
AT..you're right !! Others who saw him with me..perceived the same thing that is that we had something going on..and believe me it was far from it. He was one them smooth brothers saying what he thought you wanted to hear..even down to " I am going to Berean Bible School now"..and in the back of my mind the thought so what was very present !!
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Post by leadinglady on Jul 18, 2008 2:59:56 GMT -5
I even heard several brothers testified on the lines of "you can't even take a sister out for hot chocolate without them buying their wedding dresses", or "you can't even be friendly, or even look at a sister before she's planning her wedding". Several brothers testified on their experiences of women chasing them. These comments were said in an open single's conference/forum that I attended. As the conference progressed, and when pressured for explanations, it was discovered that at least 4 of them had dated particular sisters for 6 to 8 months, with one of them sending flowers on a regular basis. Each brother had been taking the sisters out to expensive dinners, buying gift for the woman, wineing and dining these women for a period of time. When the sisters inquired about their intentions, the brothers quickly used the "we are just friends" line. I don't believe in chrisitian dating for this and several other reasons.
I remember Pastor Jackie McCullough's preaching on Love as found in the epistle of John. She mentioned the unloving actions of a well known older bishop (she didn't name him) who dated a sister for a long period of time. He confessed to the sister that he was ready for marriage, and led her to believe that she was the One. While he was dating the sister, he was also dating someone else, unbeknown to the sister. He then decided to marry the second woman. When questioned, he didn't feel that he had done anything wrong. Pastor McCullough mentioned how his unloving action undoubtedly left the poor woman devastated, and broken hearted, and possibly another man would be left to pick up the pieces. According to Pastor McCullough, the bishop behaved like someone who didn't even know the voice of God, and should not have led the sister on. This was an unloving on his part, since he didn't seemed to care what he had done. She implored brothers in the audience to be careful how you deal with "your sister in Christ, since they are the weaker vessels".
This is why women must be dilligent and guard their hearts, not be led by our feelings. If God has not spoken and confirmed to both, then, we as women must not assume anything.
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Post by leadinglady on Jul 18, 2008 3:10:47 GMT -5
Stillfocused, I'm glad you called the brother out on his behavior. Maybe next time he will do better.
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Post by vindicated on Jul 18, 2008 7:48:48 GMT -5
leadinglady you have not distracted from the topic. You've broadened it actually. Because even though I was more like the women in this story I also know that men will lead women on and use them as little dating toys.
But because of what God has done for me I know that women have to "grow up". It's sad and painful but once you get burnt a few times you learn to recognized game. You can see and expression on his face or hear him say one statement and know you're dealing with a church pimp. These men are playing the same games in the church that they played in the clubs because women in the church are so gullible. Word on the street for years has been that if you really want a freak go to church.
I think I'll come back a little later if I have time today and give a little more detail about how I would "assume" things and make more out of things. It was with this guy at my church.
Sometimes men use women, or toy with them, and sometimes we live in fantasy worlds. I think if we can learn to identify which is which, it can help some of us not fall into the trap.
My last comment at this time is also that when women are off on this tangent, you can't tell them nothing. They want to believe something so badly that they'll keep searching until they find a prayer partner or prophet to tell them just what they want to hear. Nothing you can do for them but just be there for them when it all blows up in their face.
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