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Post by vin on Aug 28, 2008 15:20:26 GMT -5
Good Morning Steve and the Morning show family, I actually
do not know where to start with my letter. I guess I will
start will saying I have been in tears everyday for the last
4 months. I guess I will also start by giving you a little
history. First of all, my husband and I have been married
for almost 2 years. We met in college when I was a freshman
and he was a junior. When we met, we realized we had a lot
in common. We both grew up in the same city just on
different sides of town. So we didn't know each other.We
were raised by strong single black women that made sure we
had the best, we were raised in the church, and we both
wanted to get legal degrees. We got married shortly after I
graduated college and we relocated to Chicago in hopes of
attending law school. When we got to Chicago, I became a
nurse instead and my husband got a position at a legal firm
(long story short, we didn't make it to law school). We
both are devout Christians and we have
been for most of our life. We decided that in order to
really move foward in our spiritual life, that we needed to
forgive all the people we had problems with includeing our
fathers. We didn't realize how much that unforgiveness
impacted our own lives. I made it a point to forgive my
father in my heart because I knew it would be difficult to
find him. My husband, however, got in touch with his father
and made arrangements to meet up with him when we went home
for our family reunion. They decided to meet up at the park
where the reunion was to be held because they felt that was
a neutral spot. We went home for the family reunion in May..
To my surprise, my father was there. Even though I
hadn't seen him in almost 16 yrs, I knew it was him. I
remembered the goal me and my husband had set for ourselves
so I agreed to go somewhere and talk with him as long as we
remained in the park. After about 45 minutes of catching up,
I finally asked him what he was
doing at the park on that day of all days. He mentioned
that he was there to meet someone special in his life. I
figured it was probably just another women. Just then, my
husband walked up and said, I see you met my father. At that
point, I did pass out (literally). I woke up in the hospital
a couple of hours later. After a week, my husband went back
to Chicago. I remained in our hometown with my mother. I was
not ready to face all the issues on my plate and I
couldn't just go back to Chicago with my
husband/brother. After 3 mons, I am absolutely confused
about what to do. Even though we have only been married for
2 years, we have been together for almost 5. I can't
imagine my life without him. However, I get sick to my
stomach when I think about the fact that I have been
sleeping with my brother for so long. I know deep down it
isn't really our fault. I mean we did everything right.
I know the obvious thing to do is divorce him. But that is
easier said
than done. I am not torn between divorce and my religious
beliefs because we got married under false pretenses. My
problem is, I am torn between doing the obvious thing and
dealing with all these emotions at the same time. Please
tell me what to do. I don't think I have anymore tears
left to cry.
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Post by Jasmine on Aug 28, 2008 18:22:39 GMT -5
The letter is sad, but its not uncommon.
Its not uncommon for brothers and sisters who do not know each other to reside in the same area. Unfortunately, this is due to a man who struts his stuff around town. Now, a man can't be blamed for it all, because A woman is so quizative that, the thought of her man seeing, rather sleeping with another, send her into "let me seek, till I find".
This is definitely where the mothers can bear the burden of responsibility, giving, they should have known that their kids "Favored" the man, they were both with.
My thoughts is wouldn't the state law anull the marriage anyway? from that point, how do you go from seeing your "husband" as your brother?
I know that it will take God, and I know that there is nothing to hard for him. But speaking a wife..she would definitely need to steer clear from him, as those "wifely" feelings won't just go away.
Nevertheless, very sad. I pray its a fake.
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Post by kitty on Aug 28, 2008 20:14:05 GMT -5
I wondering about a fake as well... I think about that because wouldn't the husband say what his father's name was at some point in time? Even if it was simply before the picnic?
What about birth certificates? Don't you have to turn those in to get a marriage lic. in the first place?
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Post by vin on Aug 28, 2008 22:17:32 GMT -5
I don't think (don't ask me why) that it's a fake because for one thing it's SO common any more for people to be related. I've seen enough shows from Oprah to many others about people having an uncanny attraction or whatnot to someone only to find out they're related. It happens with cousins probably way more than we think. I know that my pastor and many others nowadays are saying from the pulpits that you just about have to do full background checks on people before you get married. You don't know who's gay, downlow, hiv positive or anything else. Anymore we bout need to exchange medical records right along with credit reports and background checks.
I will tell you what does bother me though. Two people who are supposedly "devout Christians" and neither of them felt anything pulling against the relationship before it was too late. Makes me wonder what in the world is a devout Christian?
My question at this point is concerning their relationship with God, the pastors they sit under, even more than the mothers (because we don't know if either of the mom's is passed away...she didn't say did she?) I know single moms who don't even discuss their children's fathers with them. Some let them know who their dads are of course but as far as going into any real details many single moms just don't do it. It's like some of them are so wrapped up in their own pain and trying to be strong that they neglect to do some things.
But I'd sure have a problem with being under a pastor who couldn't call me in and say, hey something about this ain't agreeing with my spirit. I need a man of God that can hear God even if I can't. I also have a hard time believing that I can be a "devout" Christian and the Holy Ghost not speak to me. Whether I listen and obey is another story.
If I have the Holy Ghost, just seems to me He would keep me from marrying my brother. My God! He has kept me from dating the wrong man!
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Post by vin on Aug 28, 2008 22:18:46 GMT -5
Bad part about some of those Strawberry letters though is that they are getting outrageous....but so is the Jerry Springer show...."with mess like I got my fiance's mother pregnant."
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Post by Poetricia (G.A.P.) on Sept 1, 2008 7:17:22 GMT -5
It is my personal belief that the majority of these letters are fake, specifically designed to bring discussion, debate, and devilish delight.
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Post by Jasmine on Sept 2, 2008 12:31:55 GMT -5
I wondering about a fake as well... I think about that because wouldn't the husband say what his father's name was at some point in time? Even if it was simply before the picnic? What about birth certificates? Don't you have to turn those in to get a marriage lic. in the first place? I thought about that as well, especially him walking up saying " Oh I see you met my father". That was strange to me As far as birth certificates, most women do not list the baby's fathers name on the birth certificates for various reasons. |
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Post by stillfocused on Sept 8, 2008 17:59:53 GMT -5
For birth certificates..some states do list the father's name if the parents are not married..and some states add the father's name after paternity has been established via the court system.
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Post by vin on Sept 8, 2008 22:54:20 GMT -5
Yeah cause one of my nieces didn't put the father's name on the birth certificate. She said she always wondered why she never did. But the way things have turned out and the lack of contact from the father to her son, now she's getting ready to get married and he's more than willing to adopt her son, and will be able to without any interference from the natural father. Not that he would offer any.
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