Have You Ever Felt Like This?

[vin]

Years ago when I lived in LA, there was a strange sounding woman who had a radio show. I say strange sounding because she talked really soft and low and mysterious like.

Well every day when she would close the program she would pray a prayer and one of the things she would say, (to have the listener repeat, like a sinner's prayer) was,

"I forgive you God."

I couldn't believe she said that and I wondered how she got on the radio with that crazy talk. I used to wonder who in the world could ever feel like God needed to be forgiven.
I never forgot that.

Well about five months ago after something happened, the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, "God doesn't owe you and explanation or an apology". I was really hurt over what had happened but I wasn't thinking God owed me an apology or explanation. Really.

But yesterday I fully understood what it feels like. In my heart I KNOW that God doesn't mistreat us. But emotionally I felt like saying, "you owe me an apology for that one". Now don't jump on me! I said I felt that way emotionally.

My question is......has anyone else ever felt that way? Like you thought God should apologize to you for something He did or let happen? If you did, what happened on the other side of that ordeal? Did God speak anything to you? How did it work out?

[anointedteacher]

If you ever hold unforgiveness toward God for anything, you should confess and forgive Him... You know how we pray for a love one and beg, cry to God to heal them, but instead, they die.... your heart is broken, because you prayed so hard... And you bury the hurt and disappointment so deep in your heart and pretend it doesn't existance. Deep inside you are angry and bitter with God... No... he doesn,t owe us anything, but confessing to God and forgiving Him can bring you back closer to God ,

[krazeeboi]

I can understand how you feel, vin; emotions are a fickle thing. I've been there. I just have to rest and trust in the sovereignty of God and know that even in the worst situations, all things are working for my good because I love Him and am called according to His purpose.

[vin]

Thanks KB. I was wondering if anyone would admit to having those feelings. I understand why a person might not want ever say they felt that way.

AT. I know and understand what you are talking about. I prayed the whole night. But I understand too that we have to be honest with God. You can't repent for what you won't admit. The two go hand in hand. I also understand that that's what I felt in my emotions and I don't live by those. I finally know the difference between my emotions and my spiritual man. Finally. And I finally know that God is not moved by our emotions. Oh boy have I found that out the hard way!


I forgot to post yesterday too that when this came on me the other day, I realized why the Holy Ghost said that to me a few months ago. He was preparing me. (this thing bothered me so bad that now i'm having to speak that I release it all because I'm having ulcer symptoms again. it really got me.)

The Holy Ghost knew I would have those feelings and thoughts so He sent the word ahead of me. And though I was crying I was remembering what He had said, and believe it or not it helped get me through that first day. Then last night at bible study my pastor basically preached specifically for me. (i'm gonna have to let him know that)

I was just really wondering if anyone had had those feelings beforfe and how it worked out for you.

[stillfocused]

I saw this post yesterday..yet, because I am a little under the weather I came home and went to bed. Some years I was at women's conference and the speaker had us go to some places in our lives..mine started from the time I was 18 yrs to 4 yrs..it went backwards. When I got to the "door" I saw myself talking to older sister..it was our last conversation because she hit by a drunk driver later on that evening. At that I started saying " where are you", where are you..to " where is she" and I heard my screaming at the top my lungs "where were you"..." where were you"..it the midst of it all I heard " I have been all the time". I never knew how mad at God I really was until that moment..all that I had been held in for over 25 years. After my big sister in the Lord got finished wiping my tears and my nose..she just held me..it was then I realized that God loved more and been with me from that time on. AT you hit some on very important things..I found through this that holding to unsolved hurt, and anger will bring about depression, illnesses, and so much more. Thanks.. Vin for being transparent...Have a blessed day everyone..

[livinganewlife]

Vin, it is humanly possible to be angry with God and to feel like God has forsaken us....

Even Jesus asked "My God my God why hast thou forsaken me? "

The disciples were on the boat and asked " Carest thou not that we perish..."

I believe that some of the teachings of the Bible has really held us back from total deliverance....

I am going to post another thread well no, it applies in this situation too...

The children of Israel even complained and murmured against God.....on this very weekend I looked and studied the children of Israel again and I think there murmuring and complaining is totally misunderstood and misrepresented in many Sunday morning sermons because sometimes you got to talk your way through..............

I have to come back and finish this later....

[keita]

I've been hurt and angry with GOD more than a few times in my life. I've even wrestled with HIM once or twice and have both the limps and the blessings to prove it.

But I'm also most comforted and encouraged that, as sis living said, feeling that way was common to quite a few of GOD's people in the bible.

Job, David, Elijah, Jeremiah....just to name a few.

And then there's Jesus the Christ, Himself:

"My God, my God! Why have you forsaken me?"

I stand in awe that we have a savior, high priest and (above all) intercessor who fully KNOWS and UNDERSTANDS what it is, as a human being, to feel forsaken by His Father GOD.... and wasn't at all ashamed to cry out and say so.

WOW!!!

Awesome GOD!!!



Also, for anyone who has ever felt or yet feels deeply hurt, confused or mad with GOD, I sincerely recommend the book, "The Shack".

Imho, and I think sis bee would agree, that book is anointed for digging up and healing those very issues.

We talked a little bit about it on the "Books" thread (HERE)
and you can read about the book and its author HERE.

[krazeeboi]

Livinganewlife, you touched on something there. I think too many times when presenting the stories in Scripture we forget to really deal with the human element. Truth be told, if we were the ones in the story, we'd be guilty of the same stuff as the children of Israel, the Pharisees, etc. It's easy to blast these characters on the other side of history.

[keita]

Nov 19, 2008 11:40:56 GMT -5 krazeeboi said:

Livinganewlife, you touched on something there. I think too many times when presenting the stories in Scripture we forget to really deal with the human element.

I agree bro kb, and never more than when we're looking at Jesus and His earthly life.

Truth be told, if we were the ones in the story, we'd be guilty of the same stuff as the children of Israel, the Pharisees, etc. It's easy to blast these characters on the other side of history.

Amen.

And I'm also reminded of that whenever I hear someone speak/preach about how they're someday going to get Adam and (especially) Eve told off about the fall.

Always makes me want to , LOL!

[vin]

See this is what I need. Because since I've been divorced my walk with God has been so different that what I thought it would be. But the truth is that is really is my walk with God.

His ways are truly not our ways. My pastor really let God use him last night. I'm gonna have to get the cd so I can listen some more. He was talking about just how I feel. You know my feelings were saying, "God you didn't have no reason to hurt me like that. Your timing was the worst. And I just think you need to apologize for that because that don't make no sense. And I plainly told you that you didn't have to do this. And then I' been asking and asking and you won't even answer me?".

You know? But pastor was saying last night how God can interrupt your life any time He wants and He doesn't have to discuss it with you first. He doesn't have to get your permission to do or allow anything. And when you have your temper tantrum and run to Him demanding answers, He doesn't have to answer you. He's still God and you're gonna be alright. So like mothers let their babies have tantrums, He lets us have ours. We know our babies are gonna be alright and He knows we're gonna be alright.

We ask, "What is that? What are you doing now? Why you do that?" He says nothing. Just like a surgeon has to knock you out so he can do his job, that's what God does. He keeps you in the dark and doesn't give you all the details about what He's doing because if He did you'd interfere and mess it up trying to help out. Then when something painful happens we feel hurt and offended with God because He should have at least told us something. But He doesn't have to. And He's still God. So we have to TRUST HIM. I had to be honest with Him that I felt offended with Him.

I prayed the other day and said, "Lord forgive me for feeling like I need to forgive you. Don't let me hold a grudge against you and be bitter with you. I know you know what you're doing".

People say that the worst hurt is church hurt. I've said it too because I've experienced it. But no. The worst hurt is not church hurt. It's GOD HURT.

[vin]

I think I will get that book. I've seen him on tv a few times. He inspired me because he couldn't find a publisher. Over twenty publishers turned him down so he and his brother spent 385.00 I think and did it themselves. By the time he was on TBN he had sold over 4 million copies. I'm believing God for that kind of success for my books. Transparency.

This quarter in Sunday School we've been reading a book called Total Forgiveness. Right on time huh?

I so appreciate everybody's responses. Like I said I really need it. My tummy is hurting behind this. So pray for me that I can release it all TODAY.

[vin]

Does anybody think it's wrong to say, "I forgive you God"?

[Poetricia (G.A.P.)]

Nov 19, 2008 13:33:36 GMT -5 vin said:

Does anybody think it's wrong to say, "I forgive you God"?

Yes. Me. I do. I think it's wrong to say "I forgive you God"
because to say "I forgive you God" is to say that God did something WRONG and the result of him doing something WRONG caused us to feel lost, abandoned, alone, forsaken, hurt, angry, confused, etc..... etc... etc....and NOTHING God does is EVER WRONG, therefore it is totally out of line to say "I forgive you God."

Feeling forsaken, alone, abandoned, hurt, angry, confused, etc... are all feelings and emotions we've all had concerning God, things he allowed, things he did, or things he didn't do, etc....... the Psalms show us that, Jesus in the garden and on the cross showed us that.

But none of those things underlined were, are, or will ever be WRONG.

[Poetricia (G.A.P.)]

scripture wise, "though he slay me yet will i trust him" comes to mind -
but no where in scriptures do we find instructions to FORGIVE God

[livinganewlife]

Nov 19, 2008 16:01:06 GMT -5 Poetricia (G.A.P.) said:

Nov 19, 2008 13:33:36 GMT -5 vin said:

Does anybody think it's wrong to say, "I forgive you God"?

Yes. Me. I do. I think it's wrong to say "I forgive you God"
because to say "I forgive you God" is to say that God did something WRONG and the result of him doing something WRONG caused us to feel lost, abandoned, alone, forsaken, hurt, angry, confused, etc..... etc... etc....and NOTHING God does is EVER WRONG, therefore it is totally out of line to say "I forgive you God."

Feeling forsaken, alone, abandoned, hurt, angry, confused, etc... are all feelings and emotions we've all had concerning God, things he allowed, things he did, or things he didn't do, etc....... the Psalms show us that, Jesus in the garden and on the cross showed us that.

But none of those things underlined were, are, or will ever be WRONG.

I wouldn't say that God necessarily did anything WRONG but to hurt is an honest feeling and an honest emotion that we should be able to take to the Lord in prayer....…..

For instance if I believe God for my marriage………..prayed, stood on the Word of God and did all things that were right (within my power) and my marriage fails and ends in divorce….…

For me as this is a real situation in which I have experienced…. The hurt wasn’t because “Boo” left me the hurt was me constantly questioning where and why my Faith failed.....

Therefore causing me to question God and to doubt my belief in God and the power of God………in my “talks” with God; I was honestly hurt and had resentment toward God regarding the area of my relationships……. As there was a time when I would not and I mean refuse to pray to God about a relationship…….as it seemed every time I prayed I ended up hurting......

I don't know about you but in my human frame it takes a whole lot for me to keep trusting and believing in you if every time I come to you with purity and honesty in my heart regarding the desire of my heart I end up heart.

Which is why I think the children of Israel are totally misunderstood; they weren’t murmuring and complaining just because they were talking foolishness against God…they were murmuring and complaining because they didn’t have the right understanding about their destiny…..especially just coming up out of slavery and we know what slavery can do to one’s psyche…..as some of us are still dealing with the residue of slavery…..but anyway that’s another thread…………………

I will sum this up by saying that if someone hurt you…….would you let them know?

And if someone hurt you wouldn’t you expect an apology or at least an explanation as to why things turned out the way they did……… I know with God we don’t always get a full explanation but if we go to Him with honesty and tell the Lord “ouch that hurt me” the Lord will consider our hurt and will comfort us……..

I will be back later........