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Post by anointedteacher on Dec 22, 2008 19:41:47 GMT -5
Want the real answer? 1) We dont trust God to make the right choices 2) The marriages of many pastors, leaders. and Bishops who said God brought them their spouse and their marriages were utter failures. And I think that part of or even a lot of the reason your (1) is true is because we have a picture of how we think or hope the person will look. We are way caught up on outward appearances. I'm not saying that God never gives us what we like but I also think that if we didn't have preconceived ideas of what the person will be like physically many more of us might be happily married. I didn't realize until a short while back that I have a "type". I found my 7th grade sweetheart a couple of weeks ago and when I say that he 'marked' me that's what I mean. Every man that I have really been attracted to and really loved has fit that same mold. About 6'3. Same skin tone. Same hair. Same build. Same nose. Same mouth. Same basic temperment (only different really by background). Somewhat softspoken, somewhat shy, very passionate. I mean there's more. But it just occurred to me maybe earlier this year that I've fallen for my 7th grade sweeheart over and over and every man after him has broken my heart. Now I wonder if when God sends my promise, will he be almost opposite of my "type". And I hope I really do recognize him and not reject him if he doesn't come in my "type package". One of my nieces is engaged to the man of her dreams and the man is the OPPOSITE of her type. To see them together is really something. He didn't come in her package of what she always thought was attractive but he's everything she wants and needs. And in her words, he loves her like Christ loves the church and you can't tell her he ain't the finest man walking. She wasn't even attracted to him at first. They couldn't stand each other. Either that or they were in denial. I asked God to match me up. I was not doing a very good job at all. So I'm still waiting on Him. You may be dealing with a soul tie that never have been broke.n... It is like an invisible that pull you toward that type of men... even if the person don't come in that image, it the personality that is similar to your ex.... That's why you see ppl marrying the same type abusive man or woman... |
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Post by nina2 on Dec 23, 2008 12:07:07 GMT -5
I am not sure about understanding what you mean by "because I decide not to get married".
Because of that, one of my answers would be that no, she would not fall short of fulfilling her life's purpose because of that. And the reason is that we (general) have yet to learn to honestly and earnestly learn how to be satisfied and understanding, first, of the purpose for us being single, no matter how long it might seem to be.
Many singles, at least from the outside - and just trying to hear what is really being said - seem to get to the point where without being married, what's the point?
How about trying to shift the focus, having the best possible life being single, growing in all possible ways, reaching some goals for yourself, and yes, having some fun too?
And, I think that letting Him implies truly getting our own SELF out of His way.
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Post by krazeeboi on Dec 23, 2008 20:57:40 GMT -5
I wonder why is it that we can believe God will put us in the right house, assign us to a particular place of worship, place us on the job meant just for us, but when it comes to a spouse, all of a sudden, we don't think He works that way? Truth be told, I'm not sure if I believe all that other stuff. But that's a whole 'notha discussion in and of itself. |
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Post by krazeeboi on Dec 23, 2008 21:00:55 GMT -5
I am not sure about understanding what you mean by "because I decide not to get married". I'm confused as to how that's unclear. I'm not being facetious or anything, but the statement is pretty self-explanatory. |
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Post by nina2 on Dec 24, 2008 10:26:46 GMT -5
In absolute, yes, it is very self explanatory re just plain and simple deciding not getting married. What I was more talking about was the reason why one might decide not to get married. Would that be just choosing to remain single and celibate? Or maybe actually meeting someone and at some point deciding not to get married and backing out of the relationship? Just talking about several possible scenarios leading to the decision of "not getting married"... I hope we are communicating again?  |
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Post by giantsdodie on Dec 24, 2008 12:39:52 GMT -5
This is the reality. God can and will direct our paths in all ways if we allow HIM to do so.
Also I would like to point out that GOD's promises are not contingent upon a person. If a person doesnt line up wth the will of GOD He will do what he has ALWAYS done.. raise up someone else...
Adam messed up.. here comes Jesus
Saul messed up... here comed David...
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Post by Jasmine on Dec 24, 2008 13:23:46 GMT -5
In the same vein, God is a God of second chances. What you've previously messed up, He will give you another opportunity to do it again.
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Post by krazeeboi on Dec 24, 2008 18:01:21 GMT -5
What I was more talking about was the reason why one might decide not to get married. Would that be just choosing to remain single and celibate? Or maybe actually meeting someone and at some point deciding not to get married and backing out of the relationship? Just talking about several possible scenarios leading to the decision of "not getting married"... I hope we are communicating again? Option A. |
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Post by krazeeboi on Dec 24, 2008 18:03:04 GMT -5
Also I would like to point out that GOD's promises are not contingent upon a person. If a person doesnt line up wth the will of GOD He will do what he has ALWAYS done.. raise up someone else... Adam messed up.. here comes Jesus Saul messed up... here comed David... But Jesus was God's plan A all along. Calvary was put into motion before Eden was. The plan was contingent upon Jesus the whole time, not Adam. |
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Post by Nikkol on Dec 26, 2008 7:56:59 GMT -5
Also I would like to point out that GOD's promises are not contingent upon a person. If a person doesnt line up wth the will of GOD He will do what he has ALWAYS done.. raise up someone else... Adam messed up.. here comes Jesus Saul messed up... here comed David... But Jesus was God's plan A all along. Calvary was put into motion before Eden was. The plan was contingent upon Jesus the whole time, not Adam. That's sounding "Calvinistic"....... <<smile>> |
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Post by giantsdodie on Dec 26, 2008 11:34:15 GMT -5
Also I would like to point out that GOD's promises are not contingent upon a person. If a person doesnt line up wth the will of GOD He will do what he has ALWAYS done.. raise up someone else... Adam messed up.. here comes Jesus Saul messed up... here comed David... But Jesus was God's plan A all along. Calvary was put into motion before Eden was. The plan was contingent upon Jesus the whole time, not Adam. Very True... Because GOD knows the end from the beginning... But that very same GOD anointed Saul knowing full well that Saul would mess up... God gives us a chance and if we dont line up with HIS will he will raise up someone else... thats my point... Not that God is shocked when we mess up... My point on the topic however is this... God has a will for each and every persons life.. yet it is up to US to walk in His will and that includes marriage as well. |
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Post by krazeeboi on Dec 27, 2008 1:55:53 GMT -5
But Jesus was God's plan A all along. Calvary was put into motion before Eden was. The plan was contingent upon Jesus the whole time, not Adam. That's sounding "Calvinistic"....... <<smile>> It only sounds Bible to me... |
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Post by krazeeboi on Dec 27, 2008 1:57:10 GMT -5
God has a will for each and every persons life.. yet it is up to US to walk in His will and that includes marriage as well. I just think that it's interesting that the Bible doesn't treat marriage that way. |
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Post by kitty on Dec 27, 2008 10:33:54 GMT -5
Krazeboi,
What do you mean when you say that,"the bible doesn't treat marriage that way."
I think it does.... and in a very basic way as well. First and foremost God wants us to follow His word. When it comes to marriage God gives some examples of instruction of who to marry. In general God doesn't want us to marry those who don't belive in Him or follow other gods.
In general we all know that the act of sex is not to occur outside of marriage. We know that it is better to marry than to burn, that we should not commit adultry or fornication. We know that people shouldn't share partners or have multiple wives. So in this very basic sense unless a person can honestly say to themselves that they don't have a desire for sex. Can see themselves never having sex again and for most people that would also include masterbation.... Then it would be a safe assumption that God's will includes marriage for the majority of people... not a handful.
I think the biggest hang up that we as Christians have is figuring out how much direct influence God is going to have on the choice of who we pick to marry. In some cases God may hand pick and make His will clear... on other cases God's hand may not be so apparent.... and so cases who to marry is simply up to us... whether that is a good choice or a bad choice. I think this fact is the biggest pill to swallow... But other wise... I think the bible does make God will clear to us about marriage.
Kitty
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Post by giantsdodie on Dec 27, 2008 11:13:54 GMT -5
God has a will for each and every persons life.. yet it is up to US to walk in His will and that includes marriage as well. I just think that it's interesting that the Bible doesn't treat marriage that way. I disagree. While I will agree that Bible does not lay out a specific agenda for seeking a psouse per se, it does give a great many instructions on the KIND of spouse we should seek. The Bible also gives us NUMEROUS instructions on seeking God for HIS WILL, plan and purpose for our lives, much of which will NOT be found within the confines of tha pages of the book, but in the secret place aka the prayer closet and also through our relationship with HIM. We all know that the scripture says that we should lean NOT to our OWN understanding but in ALL our ways acknowledge HIM and HE WILL direct our paths... Thats one example... now the last time I checked the word ALL means EVERYTHING.. All Inclusive.. and IMO that would include the area of marriage.. And as someone who has seen first hand GOD do it for ME and do it for SEVERAL other people I know personally I KNOW for a fact that GOD can and WILL direct you to HIS WILL... Example.. I had a friend who knew a woman in the same choir, they were becoming close friends and he began to seek the Lord for HIS will regrding this woman, whether she was to remain a sister in the Lord or was there something deeper.. HE asked me tyo pray about the situation as I am one of his covenant partners. God showed me a woman I had never met, her height, skin tone, hair length, body type and even showed me one of the EXACT outfits she had on.. He said tell him this woman is his wife.... We have a mutual friend who is a prophet of God who met her and the day he met her she had on the EXACT OUTFIT God showed me... He met her two days before I did. What am I saying God reveals SPECIIFIC things... about SPECIFIC DETAIL... about EVERY area of our lives IF we allow it and IF we believe it.... I think one of the biggest mistakes we make is when we place limits on the infinite wisdom of God for our lives. We do not serve a GOD who is disconnected from our personal lives. We serve a very personal and intimate GOD who while concerned over the " salvational " and " holiness " issues of our lives is very very concerned over every detail of our lives. This is the GOD who knows the very numbers on the hairs of our heads. Why would he not be concerned over who we marry, what jobs we have, where we live etc etc when our entire existance in reality is by HIS design and will? The reality is that we have the responsbility to seek Him FOR His will as He will not force His will on anyone. We are the ones that place the limitations on HIM and thus we limit ourselves from fulfilling HIS will completely. And we dont have to. we choose to... And this is GREAT pleasure for Him as well, to be intimately involved in the lives of HIS children, guiding them and directing them into HIS perfect will, which will benefit THEM greatly and advance the Kingdom of God in the earth.... |
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