Woman on a Mission to Marry in 52 Weeks

[And Such Were Some Of You]

Good response, Nina!

this is why I really really dislike when MOST people (and especially @ single conferences and events) present the story of Boaz as one that is based on "How to find your mate" story. We MUST understand that Jesus came from this line and therefore it HAD TO HAPPEN thus very much in the will of God.

Had very little to do with anything else. Simply a story of Redemption (though not a simple thing at all).

[giantsdodie]

Jan 5, 2009 21:47:26 GMT -5 krazeeboi said:

Jan 5, 2009 5:58:44 GMT -5 nina2 said:

I am beginning to seriously think that the main issue is that nobody, christian or not, is willing to just let things happen in their own time or to simply let go of being in control, as if everything had to be on some personal time schedule, including getting married.

Well, for women, I think it's pretty relevant, at least the schedule part. At this point, Neenah can still technically bear a child, although it won't be anywhere near as easy as 30. The later she waits, the more of an impossibility it will be.

It is not uncommon in todays world to see women having children in their early 40's. I know several who had children as late as 45 years old.

And as we all know with GOD nothing is impossible.

[giantsdodie]

Jan 5, 2009 21:51:07 GMT -5 krazeeboi said:

Jan 5, 2009 6:41:43 GMT -5 Poetricia (G.A.P.) said:

For the unsaved, it's about being in control, but for believers it's not only about being in control but not trusting God to be in control.

I guess it all boils down to whether or not one believes we're supposed to wait until God sends somebody or whether we should be looking. Or may this refers primarily to women, since men are supposed to be the "pursuer." It's really interesting though since the general attitude towards single men is that they'll get married when (or if) they want to. There's no waiting and agonizing and praying about "the one." Those instructions are primarily geared towards women. So we have to take those social factors into account as well, even more so when we're talking about Black women who would prefer to marry a Black man.

I agree that this is what is taught in most christian circles and that teaching IMO is incorrect...

BOTH parties should seek the Lord and follow HIS instructions whatever that may be.

I didnt look for a wife yet I FOUND a wife... how... she was ADDED to me as the scripture says will happen when we seek GOD's Kingdom FIRST...

I wonder if we have forgotten that simple principle and thats why we are not finding a lot of the stuff we are seeking....

[vin]

Jackie Reid interviewed this lady on TJMS this morning. She sounds like she has good sense. She seems to have it all figured out.
But the most interesting thing about the whole interview was that AFTER it was over, Both Tom Joyner and J Anthony Brown said she was DESPERATE.

Both Syble and Jackie thought she was just taking control of her situation.

And that's what women don't seem to get. We do a lot of stupid (not meaning to sound harsh) stuff and because we get a few other females to agree with us and even help us we go forging ahead. Meanwhile men are standing back calling us desperate.

[Rachel2]

This is a very interesting discussion. I am the President of the Singles Ministry at my church and I know a lot of saved women much younger than Neenah who really want to get married. Some of them want marriage so badly until it weighed heavy on my spirit.

I began to cry out to the Lord on their behalf. We hear all of this stuff about there being more women than men; God never promised everyone they would be married, etc., etc. So I asked the Lord, "What about Your daughters who truly desire marriage?"

His simple reply to me was..."Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path."

This is exactly the word that I will give them on January 30 when we have our first singles meeting of this Brand New Year!

[giantsdodie]

Jan 6, 2009 16:28:13 GMT -5 Rachel2 said:

This is a very interesting discussion. I am the President of the Singles Ministry at my church and I know a lot of saved women much younger than Neenah who really want to get married. Some of them want marriage so badly until it weighed heavy on my spirit.

I began to cry out to the Lord on their behalf. We hear all of this stuff about there being more women than men; God never promised everyone they would be married, etc., etc. So I asked the Lord, "What about Your daughters who truly desire marriage?"

His simple reply to me was..."Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path."

This is exactly the word that I will give them on January 30 when we have our first singles meeting of this Brand New Year!

Excellent advice..

[krazeeboi]

Jan 6, 2009 9:41:26 GMT -5 giantsdodie said:

Jan 5, 2009 21:47:26 GMT -5 krazeeboi said:

Well, for women, I think it's pretty relevant, at least the schedule part. At this point, Neenah can still technically bear a child, although it won't be anywhere near as easy as 30. The later she waits, the more of an impossibility it will be.

It is not uncommon in todays world to see women having children in their early 40's. I know several who had children as late as 45 years old.

And as we all know with GOD nothing is impossible.

Yes, but that's not "normal." The later in life a woman has a child, the more susceptible she is to miscarriages, having a Down's syndrome child, etc. I know miracles can happen, but God also put natural laws in place for a reason.

[krazeeboi]

Jan 6, 2009 9:45:56 GMT -5 giantsdodie said:

I agree that this is what is taught in most christian circles and that teaching IMO is incorrect...

BOTH parties should seek the Lord and follow HIS instructions whatever that may be.

I didnt look for a wife yet I FOUND a wife... how... she was ADDED to me as the scripture says will happen when we seek GOD's Kingdom FIRST...

I wonder if we have forgotten that simple principle and thats why we are not finding a lot of the stuff we are seeking....

Now, the Bible also says that he that FINDETH a wife findeth a good thing. You can't find anything if you aren't looking. Furthermore, the culture of Israel was for the man to go searching for a wife and I don't see anything that would indicate that this was frowned upon by God. We always talk about faith being active and not passive in nature, so why should it be any different when it comes to marriage? If I want a job, it is my duty to trust God and actually go out and look for one, not wait until one falls in my lap. I see marriage in somewhat the same light.

[krazeeboi]

Jan 6, 2009 7:30:51 GMT -5 And Such Were Some Of You said:

Good response, Nina!

this is why I really really dislike when MOST people (and especially @ single conferences and events) present the story of Boaz as one that is based on "How to find your mate" story. We MUST understand that Jesus came from this line and therefore it HAD TO HAPPEN thus very much in the will of God.

Had very little to do with anything else. Simply a story of Redemption (though not a simple thing at all).

Personally, I think this is the only biblical way to get a mate. This passage of scripture supersedes all others:

"So they instructed the Benjamites, saying, 'Go and hide in the vineyards and watch. When the girls of Shiloh come out to join in the dancing, then rush from the vineyards and each of you seize a wife from the girls of Shiloh and go to the land of Benjamin.'" (Judges 21:20-21)

[nina2]

And are you planning to try it armed or unarmed? LOL

[giantsdodie]

Jan 6, 2009 22:32:48 GMT -5 krazeeboi said:

Jan 6, 2009 9:45:56 GMT -5 giantsdodie said:

I agree that this is what is taught in most christian circles and that teaching IMO is incorrect...

BOTH parties should seek the Lord and follow HIS instructions whatever that may be.

I didnt look for a wife yet I FOUND a wife... how... she was ADDED to me as the scripture says will happen when we seek GOD's Kingdom FIRST...

I wonder if we have forgotten that simple principle and thats why we are not finding a lot of the stuff we are seeking....

Now, the Bible also says that he that FINDETH a wife findeth a good thing. You can't find anything if you aren't looking. Furthermore, the culture of Israel was for the man to go searching for a wife and I don't see anything that would indicate that this was frowned upon by God. We always talk about faith being active and not passive in nature, so why should it be any different when it comes to marriage? If I want a job, it is my duty to trust God and actually go out and look for one, not wait until one falls in my lap. I see marriage in somewhat the same light.

Krazee while I can agree that it does seem to make sense that one should find by looking the question remains HOW should one seek?

Is seeking all things a natural process or a spiritual process?

Seek ye FIRST the Kingdom of GOD and HIS righteousness and ALL THINGS will be added unto you...

I remember a time I was out of work and praying and believing GOD for a job.

The current job I have now I did not get my looking in the NATURAL. I didnt get it by sending out resumes or searching the net. I was LOOKING for a job... I was out of work..I did my due process and sent out resumes and went on interviews etc etc... but THIS job did not come through those means...

The woman I work for now was PRAYING for GOD to send her a CHRISTIAN to help her run her business, a business I was very familiar with. Another person who we both knew told me she was looking for someone. I went to speak with her and in the process of the interview I told her I cant work Sundays because I go to church. She asked if I was a christian. I said yes.

Later I met her sister who when she shook my hand stared at her sister and said..

THIS is the man we have been praying for...

Now I found a job and I was looking for a job. but the JOB did not come through natural means. GOD opened the door for the job. He simply answered TWO prayers at once. In all actuality I didnt even want to be IN That business anymore but GOD asked me as I was considering the position would I HUMBLE myself ad go back for a season.. I said yes,,

I never LOOKED for a wife in the natural. I never dated. Never went out with women.

YET I FOUND a wife. Does find imply looking.. well not necessarily..

I can walk down the street an FIND a twenty dollar bill on the sidewalk... does this mean I was necessarily walking down the street LOOKING for money... no it does not...

SO you CAN find things WITHOUT looking for them....

I agree that we need to put action behind our faith...

The question is WHAT ACTION should we put behind our faith and WHO dictates that action... and WHEN.. and the process of that action...

I will say it again.. I didnt look for a wife.. yet I have been married six years.. Now will everyones process be my process.. NO it wont...

However should the principles apply.. YES I believe they should...

Again I never sought a wife. Never dated. Never took a woman out etc etc. Yet I asked GOD for a wife... now this is key...

GOD told me HE WOULD BRING ME a wife...

At that point it wasnt necessary for me to LOOK because GOD said HE WOULD bring....

AND thats what HE did....

so I FOUND a wife... The Word found also means to DISCOVER or to become AWARE OF...

It was when I was in prayer that GOD told me THIS WOMAN was my wife.. GOD told me.. THIS is the Hand I HAVE PREPARED for YOU...

I BECAME AWARE OF ( FOUND ) the reality that she was my wife...

so can a man find without looking....

YES.....

oh and by the way.... I am a MAN who waited on GOD for His spouse.. and I know quite a few other single brothers who are doing the same...

It AINT just the women...

I believe what we need to do in EVERY case for ALL THINGS is to seek GOD for HIS WILL and HIS instructions FIRST...

and then carry them out....

This is why PRAYER is so important. Its why developing a personal inimate relationship with HIM is SO important. Its why learning to hear HIS voice for YOURSELF is SO important.

and on a final note...

I am of a mind that as the saints of GOD that we should stop looking at the supernatural as something that is not supposed to be a part of our lives.

the SUPERNATURAL should be our norm....

And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues;
"they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover."

It didnt say these signs will follow the prophet.. or the bishop.. or the pastor... it said those who BELIEVE...

does that mean we throw away every natural process and common sense.. NO...

but

I believe we have to condition our minds to EXPECT the Supernatural.. to EXPECT the unexpected...

[giantsdodie]

Jan 6, 2009 22:28:37 GMT -5 krazeeboi said:

Jan 6, 2009 9:41:26 GMT -5 giantsdodie said:

It is not uncommon in todays world to see women having children in their early 40's. I know several who had children as late as 45 years old.

And as we all know with GOD nothing is impossible.

Yes, but that's not "normal." The later in life a woman has a child, the more susceptible she is to miscarriages, having a Down's syndrome child, etc. I know miracles can happen, but God also put natural laws in place for a reason.

Yet there are far more women having perfectly health children past the age of 30. In fact its quite common that women start having children now around the age of 35.

The question I ask is..

are miscarriages and down syndrome part of GOD's natural order

Or are they a result of the sin damaged condition upon mankind and the universe?

[kitty]

Krazeboi,
You and Nina made my day.... That was Soooooo funny!
But I am also glad that you posted that scripture Judges 21 because it is a reminder that we all need to step back and realize that we need to figure out what is the best way for each individual...
Clear the majority of men don't need wait in the bushes and jump somebody! LOL But at the same time we can't deny that it was literally given as instruction!
I know I have said it before... But I will say it again... We as Christians get in trouble when we think God has one "method" for all of us... and that any other method that we don't agree with is wrong or seen as desperate or NOT trusting God... I think the deal is that we need to get before God and seek how He maybe leading us... and some of us also need to get silent and also become clear and honest that we may not hear God as clearly as we should...


Kitty

[vin]

Yesterday on the Michael Baisden show they were talking about women who are now asking men to marry them and even going so far as to buy their own ring. Again the women were referred to as desperate.

That pastor that he has on their every week quoted the scripture from Isaiah where it said that there would come a day when there are 7 women to 1 man and the women were going to lay hold on the men and tell them that they don't have to do anything for them. ....Just marry them and let them carry their name. I think we're there.

[vin]

This woman is now being interviewed by Essence Mag. If nothing else, she's gonna wind up making a lot of money. I'm pretty sure that a movie deal will follow.