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Post by vin on Apr 13, 2009 8:36:11 GMT -5
I might not get much response because it's a guy question and we only have two active guys on here but anyway.
Why do guys give women their phone numbers instead of asking for hers? And as a guy how would you advise a woman to respond?
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Post by giantsdodie on Apr 13, 2009 9:45:08 GMT -5
I might not get much response because it's a guy question and we only have two active guys on here but anyway. Why do guys give women their phone numbers instead of asking for hers? And as a guy how would you advise a woman to respond? When I was in the game. I give you my number. If you are interested in me you will call. If not you wont.... if you called me... i got you.... |
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Post by vin on Apr 13, 2009 10:03:57 GMT -5
But it could be that I'm interested but don't want to call. I might want to see how interested he is...
See that's the thing too. In the past, I would call, and I would wind up either doing all the calling or most of it, feeling like I was trying to track somebody down. Plus I had insecurity issues that made me afraid they wouldn't call.
I'm not doing that any more.
I asked why he didn't ask for my number and he simply said, no reason. Is that game too?
I feel like men drop little "hints" or "bait" to see how you will respond. But I also feel like if they are really interested they'll make it known.
Or maybe the bait period is something we all have to go through to see what we're dealing with? I don't know but I don't like it.
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Post by giantsdodie on Apr 13, 2009 11:15:30 GMT -5
Thats just what I did when I was dating. I gave you my number. If you were interested you would call, and while you were debating calling I was still out meeting new people. However as a child of God I never dated and now that I am married I aint in the game  |
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Post by kanyon on Apr 13, 2009 12:31:51 GMT -5
But it could be that I'm interested but don't want to call. I might want to see how interested he is... See that's the thing too. In the past, I would call, and I would wind up either doing all the calling or most of it, feeling like I was trying to track somebody down. Plus I had insecurity issues that made me afraid they wouldn't call. I'm not doing that any more. I asked why he didn't ask for my number and he simply said, no reason. Is that game too? I feel like men drop little "hints" or "bait" to see how you will respond. But I also feel like if they are really interested they'll make it known. Or maybe the bait period is something we all have to go through to see what we're dealing with? I don't know but I don't like it. I can only quote from my own old experience...men are quite chicken and withdraw from perceived female aggression. They want to feel like they are in charge, so I would advise being not so available. You are a daughter of a King, enjoy your life and let God bring your Prince to you. Forty-seven years ago, I chased and chased my wife to be until she caught me. ;D She has given me 99.9% of herself to me all these years. Its the one percent that has kept our marriage alive, interesting and curious. |
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Post by vin on Apr 13, 2009 13:53:02 GMT -5
I won't be calling another man. Like I said I used to fall right into that trap and I got hurt more times than I can count. I won't be calling anyone. But thanks for the input. You guys have basically confirmed what I've learned the hard way.
The thing is, it doesn't matter how old they are, they still do it. It would have been one thing if when I asked why he didn't ask for my number he would have said something like, he wanted me to feel like I was in control or he wanted me to feel comfortable to talk when I was ready. But all he said was , "no reason". It's just a game. And I hate that they call it "being in the game", because they treat us like playtoys. I won't be toyed with again.
I'm determined that the man God has chosen for me won't let me get away. He will pursue and be willing to take a chance on being rejected if that's what it takes. But more importantly that he will hear from God and be led to me by God. It's too much mess out there, even in church.
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Post by anointedteacher on Apr 13, 2009 14:39:31 GMT -5
I won't be calling another man. Like I said I used to fall right into that trap and I got hurt more times than I can count. I won't be calling anyone. But thanks for the input. You guys have basically confirmed what I've learned the hard way. The thing is, it doesn't matter how old they are, they still do it. It would have been one thing if when I asked why he didn't ask for my number he would have said something like, he wanted me to feel like I was in control or he wanted me to feel comfortable to talk when I was ready. But all he said was , "no reason". It's just a game. And I hate that they call it "being in the game", because they treat us like playtoys. I won't be toyed with again. I'm determined that the man God has chosen for me won't let me get away. He will pursue and be willing to take a chance on being rejected if that's what it takes. But more importantly that he will hear from God and be led to me by God. It's too much mess out there, even in church. Vin, I think kanyon and Giant gave U good advice.... A mature man of God will not play games.... Their approach will not be throw their number at U, for U to pursue them. They will be doing the pursueing... They will want to know where U are at in Christ, your faithfulness, prayer life, personality etc... even if God said U are the one... they will take their time to get to know U. A good godly man do not want a woman chasing them and calling them all the time, it's a turn off. You have to be completely healed from pass reationships and disappointments and forgive those who hurted you. Issues and unforgiveness will destroy any future relationship. |
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Post by vin on Apr 13, 2009 23:58:54 GMT -5
Just out of curiousity I asked this question on iseecolor.com and WHEW. The worldly perspective....is really a mess. It's a double standard and women don't even realize they're being duped. God help us all.
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Post by giantsdodie on Apr 14, 2009 8:35:28 GMT -5
Just out of curiousity I asked this question on iseecolor.com and WHEW. The worldly perspective....is really a mess. It's a double standard and women don't even realize they're being duped. God help us all. Did you expect a good answer from the worldly perspective  ? |
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Post by vin on Apr 14, 2009 10:34:42 GMT -5
I got what I expected. There is are still some men "in the world" who have the right attitude toward women but most men have had their actions shaped by the confusion of women and "the game". Unfortunately a whole lot of that is right up in the church among the people of God. I'm just more determined than ever to hold on to my standards and belief. The one God has for me will feel and believe the same.
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Post by krazeeboi on Apr 14, 2009 18:01:08 GMT -5
I guess I'm old-fashioned when it comes to this, because I will ask for her number.
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Post by kitty on Apr 15, 2009 9:14:54 GMT -5
Hey Guys,
Vin I agree with you... That guy isn't mature enough for you. Now I have heard for guys who will approach a woman in a oublic place and give her their number because they realize that most women do not like to give their numbers out to perfect starngers...
It would have been better if the guy said that he gave u his number because he wanted you to feel comfortable. But them the case is also this... Once a friendship is established then the guy should call you.
In my current relationship my guy calls me twice a day at establised times. He calls in the morning on his way to work. Then in the evening when he get's home and I'm done with class. It has a nice rhythm. I agree... As the woman if you are always the one calling it is a bad thing... I used to be on that end in the past too... never again.
Kitty
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Post by vin on Apr 16, 2009 11:43:06 GMT -5
The two main responses I got from both male and female was it's out of "respect" for the woman. So he gives her his number to show he's interested in talking more. If she's also interested she can call him whenever she wants and they can go from there.
But what about the guys who are just handing their number out and when the lady calls, she has to spend several minutes reminding him of who she is, where they met, what she had on???
Another issue is safety and privacy. Many of the women talked about stalkers and men who wind up showing up at jobs, blowing their phones up calling, even after being told "this isn't working out, please stop calling". When she has his number she can call him using *67, and if it goes well she can let him have her number.
Another issue was the women feel more in control.
And the biggest issue TO ME was FEAR OF REJECTION. Men nowadays are so afraid of being rejected and feeling stupid that they pretty much hide behind, "showing respect". But they are really afraid of being rejected. So the leadership role that God ordained men to have even in meeting, and courting a woman has been done away with in a lot a men. And when a man comes along and says he's all man and not afraid of rejection, but goes after what he wants and is willing to risk whatever happens.....the "other" men get really angry....and they take it out on the women who respect and expect a man who is in behaving like a man should. It was very intersting. But I learned a lot.
There are men who really are being taught that it shows respect to be certain ways. But what they are missing is the fact that women really do want men to take the lead.
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Post by giantsdodie on Apr 16, 2009 18:58:14 GMT -5
i think every man and every mans reasoning is different. The key to me for the women of God its important to pray and seek the Lord regarding relationships.
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