teebee
Junior Member
Posts: 58
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Post by teebee on Mar 27, 2011 15:09:42 GMT -5
Have you or anyone that you know used one of the PAY-FOR-USE dating websites like e-harmony or match.com? How was the experience? I have a few coworkers who have used match.com and been satisfied with the quality of people that they've met. The ones who used the free ones like Plenty of Fish were more dissatisfied with who they met. It's led me to the conclusion that paying is better. I will be single again soon and am thinking about trying one of the paid ones. I'm just curious about what those sites are like for born-again Christians. Unless I'm mistaken, I think e-Harmony was started by a Christian man. (Moderators--Please don't move this to the Singles Section or I'm afraid I'll get no views at all. THANKS  |
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Post by anointedteacher on Mar 28, 2011 0:51:55 GMT -5
Be single again? You can't wait?LOL You're not going to give yourself a grace period before jumping on the barn wagon? lol
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teebee
Junior Member
Posts: 58
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Post by teebee on Mar 29, 2011 10:50:57 GMT -5
Whenever my divorce is final, I'm sure that I'm not going to immediately jump back into the water. I probably will wait a little while but I have had plenty of time to contemplate already. I'm just going to wait and see how the Lord leads me when the time comes.
I'm 39 years old and generally take an ordered/orderly approach to most everything in life. I figure at my age and life stage, an ordered approach to dating--where you put your info in a database of choices and software helps to pre-weed out some of the choices for you--seems like it might fit me. Aside from the people that are already in my relatively small circle through work, my daughter's activities, church/ministry, this sounds like the best way to broaden the possibilities. However, I am determined to be led by the Lord, so we'll see.
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Post by auneeqsol on Mar 31, 2011 16:59:45 GMT -5
Have you all heard of the christian online dating? I cant think of the name of it (sorry) but i saw the advertisement online, and on tv...what do you think about christian online dating....do you think God wants us to find a mate that way, or is it okay becuz its still social interaction?
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Post by stillfocused on Apr 1, 2011 1:15:14 GMT -5
It's Christiand dating.com ..I put my profile out there and got some hits. My sister actually paid for it to check it out. I have a friend who actually paid her money and made a few connections. It seemed to be going pretty good until they asked her for money. I know of a couple who met on one the services and they got married last year.
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teebee
Junior Member
Posts: 58
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Post by teebee on Apr 1, 2011 10:52:28 GMT -5
Have you all heard of the christian online dating? I cant think of the name of it (sorry) but i saw the advertisement online, and on tv...what do you think about christian online dating....do you think God wants us to find a mate that way, or is it okay becuz its still social interaction? I don't think there is anything in Scripture that condemns it. The Bible tells us the fruit to look for and HOW to choose; I don't believe it signifies WHERE we should meet. |
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teebee
Junior Member
Posts: 58
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Post by teebee on Apr 1, 2011 10:53:16 GMT -5
It's Christiand dating.com ..I put my profile out there and got some hits. My sister actually paid for it to check it out. I have a friend who actually paid her money and made a few connections. It seemed to be going pretty good until they asked her for money. I know of a couple who met on one the services and they got married last year. thanks. i will check it out. |
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Post by kitty on May 12, 2011 21:39:31 GMT -5
Hey tee,
I know quite a few people who have used e-harmony and have been successful. In fact I personally know of about 3 people who got married using e-harmony. Two of those people were solid Christians....
I don't think using web sites is a bad idea. I think it is all about honoring God in our actions ie, not have sex outside of marriage, seeking christian courtship rather than casually dating, keeping our conversations honest and decent.
I think there are a few rules that one should use in order to stay safe and to stay on track. I can share those later if you are interested.
God Bless,
Kitty
P.S. why are u getting divorced?
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teebee
Junior Member
Posts: 58
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Post by teebee on May 13, 2011 19:24:49 GMT -5
yes, please share your rules for safe dating. i'd like to hear them. i know that dating is a whole different story when you're near 40 than when you're in your 20s. i like hearing what others in similar situations think/have experienced.
getting divorced due to adultery on my husband's part. could never work through it and get to trust/respect again.
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Post by anointedteacher on May 14, 2011 8:47:19 GMT -5
Teebee, make sure there no soul ties between you and your husband after the divorce, you don't want to bring that spirit into another relationship and end up with the same type of guy and through the same mess over and over again.
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teebee
Junior Member
Posts: 58
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Post by teebee on May 14, 2011 22:09:20 GMT -5
Amen! I am trying to work on my "stuff" so that I carry as little baggage as possible going forward. I talk about dating but I honestly don't know when I'll be ready for it. Fortunately, I have parenthood and a busy career to keep my mind engaged to the point where I'm not obsessed about it. That's the one thing I like about being this age--my life is so much more full this time around than when I was in my 20s. The guy is really going to have to catch my attention. That's a good thing I think.
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Post by anointedteacher on May 15, 2011 12:33:26 GMT -5
I know that right! teebee, kids make sure they get all your attention :-) Work and church leave little time to even think about dating. The guy will have to run you down for you to even know he exist... ;-)
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Post by kitty on May 18, 2011 9:06:13 GMT -5
Hey Tee,
Here is my basic internet dating rules.... I got these rules from dealing with people myself over the internet. In fact before I started courting my current boyfriend... My last two relationships started online. Starting with e-harmony... Make sure that you post a picture because if not most people will cancel you out as a choice right away! This happened with a friend of mine who was late in putting up a picture and was too late in reconnecting with all those who had closed her out already.
Secondly.... Do be leary yourself of those who don't put up a picture... they may have something to hide and may not be who they say they are....
3rdly... This is probably one of the most important rules i can give you.... Get to the point of talking to these guys on the phone as quick as possible! And I mean as quick as possible!!! Not matter how great they sound on paper or how witty they may be in am email response, you never know what they real deal is until you have a phone conversation with the person.
And of course be leary of anyone who isn't trying to get to the point of talking to you on the phone... Again these people have something to hide...
4th... Don't give anyone your home phone number... I know many people are now just going with a cell phne and no longer have a land line. if that is the case then it's ok. But people can indeed use a land line phone number to find out where you live.
Once you get to the point of talking on the phone... don't let more than 2 weeks go by before meeting in person. Especially if the person lives in your area. If you find that the guy doesn't want to actually meet then again this is a person that has something to hide. Plus again... people can create entire profiles and completely mis-represent themselves on the internet and on the phone. The point of not letting more than two weeks go by is because you don't want to let your guard down. When you talk to someone for a longer period of time you start to feel as if you really know them when in fact you have NEVER met this person.
If by chance you are talking to someone you like who lives in another state it may take more time to meet... But still if that is the case don't go on talking to that person more than 6 weeks before trying to meet in person. Whether he comes to you or you go there... It doesn't matter. But this scenario has got to be one of the tough situations I have seen people get into... When people start talking on the phone for 2 months or more there is a lot of projecting going on... You feel like you really know that person and in reality the may be very different in person. I personally made this mistake.... I talked to a guy too long on the phone before meeting and it greatly affected our relationship. We ended up talking for about 3 months before meeting... But by that time we had started praying together on the phone and he was declaring I was gonna be his wife.... In reality he was a much different person...
Last section of advice... when you do go on your date... meet him there don't tell this person where you live and let serveral people know you are going on a date and when to expect you home....
Hope this Helps!
Kitty
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teebee
Junior Member
Posts: 58
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Post by teebee on May 18, 2011 12:20:46 GMT -5
That is great advice. Thank you!! I will save this for whenever I am ready to take that plunge. :-) I hope all goes well with you and your bf.
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