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Post by Just Curious on Feb 15, 2006 16:39:51 GMT -5
Reading into what is not there, or seeing what really is? Scenario: Your standing in front of the mall, and someone approaches you in their work vehicle and uniform, you at first are slightly bewildered but then realize that it's someone you know who attends your church. So you make friendly conversation. The person is very familiar with your husband, works in the ministry, a good person with their own family. During the friendly conversation, the person says I work this area, and anytime you need anything, it could be a soda, sandwich, or whatever just let me know and I will bring it to you. Make sure it's ok with your husband first.  Okay! I am bewildered by this comment. Honestly, what husband would ever give an approval for another man, regardless of who he is, to bring his wife a sandwich or soda? I can only imagine how I could have tangled myself in some kind of web, had the words "Oh my husband would not care, he knows you" had come from my lips. I do have a joking relationship with this individual. We (husband included) can just sit in church and crack up over some of the dumbest things. People sleeping in church, mother's shouting, you name it, we laugh. I however know that this was not a joke, I am wrestling with the thought that, maybe I am reading into this whole thing. Would anybody care to help me out with your thoughts or experiences? |
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Post by kanyon on Feb 15, 2006 21:57:39 GMT -5
...friendly but firm..talk to him like he is a real flesh and blood brother or uncle. He will soon realise he is not transmitting the message he wants to.  |
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Post by Bee on Feb 16, 2006 12:24:16 GMT -5
I dont see anything wrong with it especially seeing that he said : check with ur husband first.
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Post by And Such Were Some Of You on Feb 16, 2006 13:14:28 GMT -5
I dont see anything wrong with it especially seeing that he said : check with ur husband first. ditto |
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Post by Nikkol on Feb 16, 2006 13:45:08 GMT -5
That's what I was thinking as well...... I thought it was showing a level of respect by asking before he just did it.
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Post by Jasmine on Feb 16, 2006 14:23:39 GMT -5
I thought that as well!
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Post by Servant4Christ on Feb 18, 2006 20:50:00 GMT -5
Greetings,
His stating to check with your husband first was to throw you off guard. He's testing the waters. If and when you let your guard down, he's coming with the "mack attack". (smile).
Be Blessed!!
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Post by stillfocused1 on Feb 19, 2006 19:16:12 GMT -5
Maybe you are reading too much into this. Talk to your husband and see how he feels about this. And if this man is married...just maybe he was doing what "brothers" do which is look for their "sisters"..especially if you attend the same church. Has this man given you any other impressions that he was interested in more ?
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Post by keita nsi on Feb 20, 2006 12:33:27 GMT -5
Greetings, His stating to check with your husband first was to throw you off guard. He's testing the waters. If and when you let your guard down, he's coming with the "mack attack". (smile). Be Blessed!! LOLOL! My thoughts exactly. It's a wolf!  I bet he was all teeth ;D while he was offering to "help a sista out"  ... |
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Post by Just Curious on Feb 20, 2006 13:11:34 GMT -5
Thank you for all the replies.
Maybe I was reading into the situation, however a part of me still feels as if this brother was trying to use some cunning and subtle ways against me. I have decided that I will forget about this situation and pray that none follow.
-Just Curious
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Post by Just Curious on Feb 20, 2006 13:25:43 GMT -5
Greetings, His stating to check with your husband first was to throw you off guard. He's testing the waters. If and when you let your guard down, he's coming with the "mack attack". (smile). Be Blessed!! LOLOL! My thoughts exactly. It's a wolf! I bet he was all teeth ;D while he was offering to "help a sista out" ... This is what was strange. In our friendly conversation, he was talking in a normal range, and looking directly at me. When he made the comment, his voice was low, and was soft, and he didn't look in my face not once until he finished the statement. I just decided that I would be watchful, but treat this like it was nothing. |
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Post by kanyon on Feb 20, 2006 15:11:53 GMT -5
LOLOL! My thoughts exactly. It's a wolf! I bet he was all teeth ;D while he was offering to "help a sista out" ... [glow=red,2,300]This is what was strange. In our friendly conversation, he was talking in a normal range, and looking directly at me. When he made the comment, his voice was low, and was soft, and he didn't look in my face not once until he finished the statement. [/glow] I just decided that I would be watchful, but treat this like it was nothing. Aha!!  , being related to the wolves, I know one when I see one.  |
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Post by And Such Were Some Of You on Feb 20, 2006 15:20:51 GMT -5
This may make the answers of some a bit different - we didn't have all of the information. Which really makes me say that since we only have the one side of the story and we don't know this brother's heart that one really cannot draw a conclusion about the matter.
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Post by keita nsi on Feb 20, 2006 22:50:31 GMT -5
During the friendly conversation, the person says I work this area, and anytime you need anything, it could be a soda, sandwich, or whatever just let me know and I will bring it to you. Make sure it's ok with your husband first. I don't know if this is a "direct quote" of what the brother actually said. But imho, if what he said included phrases or even suggested things like "anytime, anything, whatever", he's offering way more availability than he should be to anybody's wife but his own. While the brother could certainly be harmless, I trust your "womansense" about his approach and agree that at the very least he bears watching. How has he acted toward you since this incident at the mall? |
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Post by nina on Feb 21, 2006 5:50:07 GMT -5
Just a little side note (in case you did not already consider this): since you are so preoccupied by this incident and it won't go away - and this is just what would I do - did you consider telling your husband about it? It could have been just a casual incident, but it troubled you... So, since you don't have anything to hide, but you do need to "unburden" yourself, just mention it to your husband casually, because he does know him too.... By doing so, it will allow you to see what your husband thinks about it (men don't think like us about "guy's things" Then, also, he will be aware and will be able to, quietly, monitor - so to speak - the situation, as your husband and a man. I believe that, should you decide to do this, you will feel a real relief about the entire thing. It's not about trying to start anything, it's about regaining your peace of mind. Trying to push the reasoning further: should this man repeat his "offer" and be a little heavier on what exactly he meant, you might find yourself in a situation where you would not have any choice but tell your husband, including mention of the first incident, and opening the door to a very legitimate question on his part, as in "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" thus putting yourself in a position of defending yourself, when in fact you have not done anything to initiate the entire thing. Just consider it and, if you feel at peace with it, do it before the mole turns into a mountain in your life. |
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, being related to the wolves, I know one when I see one. 