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Post by stillfocused on Oct 2, 2006 20:55:58 GMT -5
I have often wondered how come the Pastor's kids got special treatment and the rest of us didn't when I was growing up. As I got older I noticed that they did the same things we did or worse. Yet, after I got serious about the things of God I noticed that PKs were constantly under a microscope, often treated as celebrities in the local assembly, and were as messed up as those they had appointed to minister to. When all they wanted was a normal life away from the eyes of the "saints"' and to be treated and accepted as individuals who were unique as we were. All this to ask this question..do we the body do a disservice to them by giving them preferential treatment over others kids; even our own ? Example: They are lining up to play a game and the Pastor's are in the back, middle of line, and not even in line to play the game and because they are the Pastor's kids they are automatically put in the front of line; in front the children who have followed direction and instruction in lining up in a orderly fashion.
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Post by livinganewlife on Oct 4, 2006 12:38:22 GMT -5
All this to ask this question..do we the body do a disservice to them by giving them preferential treatment over others kids; even our own ? Yes we do a dis service to the children and to the church. One thing I am beginning to notice and that is this "mantle" of Power, Pastoring and Positioning being passed down from Father to Son.. I am not for this mess!!!!! Just because JR. has a Jr on the end of his name it does not mean he was called or chosen to preach or Pastor.
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Post by Jasmine on Oct 4, 2006 12:54:45 GMT -5
Its both ways. PK kids really don't get a break.
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Post by stillfocused on Oct 4, 2006 18:01:31 GMT -5
Jasmine..can you expound a little more on your comment ?
Thanks, Stillfocused
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Post by kanyon on Oct 5, 2006 9:59:51 GMT -5
I pastored Canadian Indian Churches for many years.
I saw the unbelievable pressure that PKs were made to live under.
They did not have lives of their own and could not wait to become of age and escape the scrutiny that they lived under all of their lives.
I determined that my children would not have to endure that. My wife and I agreed that she would look after our children and concentrate on their needs so that one day they would at least not hate God like so many of the PKs that we both knew over the years.
I for one would not wish the ministry on my children. God would have to do that.
I too see aging ministrys that want to hand their million dollar ministries to their cnildren.
The armour does not fit
Of the PKs that I have observed white or native, I can say that I have not seen preferred treatment but rather the opposite. They can't win, they can't please anyone.
That is why they can't wait to get out of the church.
Just my observation...
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Post by stillfocused on Oct 6, 2006 0:12:57 GMT -5
Thanks..Kanyon, and I highly appreciate what you have shared; I, too have seen that with PKs who were teens and preteens their lives were continiously under scrutiny. I have wondered how children until the age of 10 adjust the strict restrictions placed on them.
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Post by Jasmine on Oct 17, 2006 16:20:21 GMT -5
I pastored Canadian Indian Churches for many years. I saw the unbelievable pressure that PKs were made to live under. They did not have lives of their own and could not wait to become of age and escape the scrutiny that they lived under all of their lives. I determined that my children would not have to endure that. My wife and I agreed that she would look after our children and concentrate on their needs so that one day they would at least not hate God like so many of the PKs that we both knew over the years. I for one would not wish the ministry on my children. God would have to do that. I too see aging ministrys that want to hand their million dollar ministries to their cnildren. The armour does not fit Of the PKs that I have observed white or native, I can say that I have not seen preferred treatment but rather the opposite. They can't win, they can't please anyone. That is why they can't wait to get out of the church. Just my observation... exactly.
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Post by stillfocused on Oct 18, 2006 12:03:11 GMT -5
I am not speaking necessarily of older children..I am talking about those under 10 yrs. old.
I have seen the Pastor's children being fed..because they were the pastor's children..even though all the chidren were hungry. They don't Dad and Mom as Pastor..they just know them as Mommy and Daddy..what do they know about preferential treatment ?
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Post by Jasmine on Oct 18, 2006 13:22:19 GMT -5
Speaking from a Church Hospitality stand point..
the pastor and his family receives food first.
However, I understand what you are saying but having worked in hospitality, I make sure that if we are doing any feeding, my children are also amongst the first in the line.
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Post by stillfocused on Oct 18, 2006 13:55:55 GMT -5
That's understandable..but, my question is this..why is that done ? Children are children and some just don't understand how come Lea-Lea and Juney get to eat first all the time and they have to wait. Is this principle biblical and how does it affect or benefit PKs in the long run?
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Post by kanyon on Oct 18, 2006 15:49:36 GMT -5
Speaking from a Church Hospitality stand point.. the pastor and his family receives food first. However, I understand what you are saying but having worked in hospitality, I make sure that if we are doing any feeding, my children are also amongst the first in the line. My wife, the preachers wife, and the preacher, I, noticed that the ladies of the church always made the children wait untill the end of the line. We allowed this to go on for a while then announced at the next due that all the children should be fed first while we were waiting for the chronic annointed late comers who were then the first in line. That worked. By the time the late comers got there the children were happily eating and some were even getting ready to go play before they had to come in for service. When the main line went through, everyone was relaxed and had a good time. My wife would not back down though others protested that we were not doing things the way the last pastor did things. Marj said well, this is the way we will do things from now on.
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Post by stillfocused on Oct 18, 2006 16:45:15 GMT -5
Kanyon...thanks !! Yet, were you're children placed at the front of that line; while the child who stood there first was pushed to the back of the line ?
What I am saying is this how come some; not all Pastor's kids are made into idols ?
I have heard of Pastors who could not conceive..the church prayed for that child..spoke blessings over that child before it was born...yet, could not touch that child after it was born..
in instances like this does it benefit the child to be treated like a celebrity ?
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Post by kanyon on Oct 18, 2006 21:46:29 GMT -5
Kanyon...thanks !! Yet, were you're children placed at the front of that line; while the child who stood there first was pushed to the back of the line ? What I am saying is this how come some; not all Pastor's kids are made into idols ? I have heard of Pastors who could not conceive..the church prayed for that child..spoke blessings over that child before it was born...yet, could not touch that child after it was born.. in instances like this does it benefit the child to be treated like a celebrity ? I don't think Native Canadian Indian mothers are any different than any other mother..grab the child step all over the other mothers and children.."Don't you go stepping in front of ME!!" Arms and legs all over the place. ;D Seriously though I detect some signs of hurt and wounding that can't be ministered to on the board. I pray you are able to deal with these and find healing love and forgiveness. Find a Godly matron who would be willing to sit with you and take you further than I can on the board. God bless and heal the hurts in Jesus Name..that Name that is above ALL names..Amen
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Post by stillfocused on Oct 19, 2006 2:23:56 GMT -5
Kanyon, believe me I understand..I am a mom and you're right mess with my child and you will get hurt.. . Why is it when things like this are questioned we attribute it to hurt, lack of submission, bitterness, and etc. This is one of those questions we'd better have an answer for those who will grace the doors of the church. Children are children and they do not understand why Rosa and em always get to eat first while they have to wait. I was under a Pastor who had over 5 children and their lives were under a microscope; they played the role expected of them; yet, they hid much pain under the "praises"and the "dancing". I had the opportunity to see a couple of the younger ones outside the watch of the eyes of the saints..they were just like any other teens..so, that I understand. My question is this does the treatment they receive do more harm; than good ? James gave us instruction on such treatment..so why does it continue to happen ? I realize these children just want be children..and do what other kids do..so, why are they not allowed tp be children? Bro. Kanyon..I know of Pastors who are parents; whose child can only be looked at from a distance..yet, cannot be touched. Sadly, this child is treated as an adult and not a child; already turning up the little nose..and there is no justification for that.
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Post by kanyon on Oct 19, 2006 3:44:18 GMT -5
Bro. Kanyon..I know of Pastors who are parents; whose child can only be looked at from a distance..yet, cannot be touched. Sadly, this child is treated as an adult and not a child; already turning up the little nose..and there is no justification for that. In these cases appearance is more important than service. I have been to ministerial retreats where the subject was properly caring for your (pastors) family, where the minister stood up and proclaimed that he had a godly family where the children minded and the wife was happily submissive. All this while the wife was sitting there with skin breakouts and nervous twitching. Guess who was the center of attention for the next hour and a half. After being beat up by his peers, he acknowledged that he had unresolved issues and agreed to go for help with his family. The next time we saw them they looked liked honeymooners and the wifes skin problems were all cleared up. There must be opportunities where you can come along side rather than face to face and gently deal with these real issues with the leadership in your church, to point out the potential harm and damage that might occur with the favouritism being displayed. I pray that you may see this issue being resolved for th glory of God.
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