Stay-at Home Moms

[Jasmine]

Back in March I became a Stay at home mom. I was actually fired from my job, a job that I really wanted out of. The money was excellent, I engaged in alot of business relationships, which some have come to be very close friends. Yet, I still had to deal with the negative side, ( getting cussed out, yelled at, whatever etc.) long hours, But I dealt with it.

I began to miss on the little things. I would sometimes work 12 hour days. I rarely cooked dinners, my kids stayed at the baby sister (my sister) sometimes till 9 or 10 at night.

It began to take its toll. I was definitely trying to find a way out, but I didnt want to quit. A situation had came up, which, I had no knowledge of, and when I questioned it, the next morning I was fired. Has anybody ever gotten so angry that all they see is Red? well that was me. It took everything within me to not spill over and off on the individual who fired me. His excuses were ridiculous, and if it were actually the case, no one should be working for this company because everything he helped me with, he's helped other managers with. But to make a very long story short, I have been a stay at home mom since March. I have mixed feelings about it though.

I love being at home, and not bound to a 9 to 5, but on the other hand, I miss engaging in the corporate industry. I miss meeting deadlines, business lunches, the overall feeling of accomplishing something for me. I don't sit around the house all day, I do things, me and the kids, I volunteer some hours in the church admin office. But I guess I don't feel satisfied.

Has anybody experienced this or is currently experiencing this?


Also, I recently found a website called Mochamoms.com. Its a national and local chapters of stay at home moms of color and they are soon to start home based businesses for moms of color.

Does anyone know anything else about this?

[nina2]

Hi Jasmine! You will probably have a lot of answers on that topic. I'll just go ahead... I've been on both side of the fence, maybe some of what I experienced will help. There is a lot going into it, but I'll try to keep it short :-)

- First, the feeling that you are experiencing, being now at home vs working outside of the home is normal. It's a major transition. Even if it's what we have been looking forward to when we were employed. Somehow, at least I think, it feels like being "at home" is just that, not really working...
If we have been working long enough outside, we are "programmed" to function a certain way, a time for everything, basically on schedule for everything, even the basics. So, there is a big adjustment to make on that level already.

Also, there is a major difference in the pace of life, most of the time. What you are missing, the contacts, meetings, etc... as a professional, that's normal too. The fact is that when we work outside the home, we basically spend most of our active time there and it creates a big gap when it stops. It doesn't mean that you don't love being with your family, it's a transition period. More than once, we find ourselves asking "now what?".... After all, how many times a day can you clean the kitchen?
We miss being busy all the time even if we had wished, before, that it would be a little less hectic.

The good part is also that it gives you time to situate yourself and decide what you really want to do from here, and how you want to go about it.

It's a good idea to consider working from home, even if it is not the "perfect" solution. The reason for that is that it takes a lot of organising. I know, because I did and still do, working at home, for example, you are are often interrupted, no matter what you are doing. You can be on the phone with a client for the deal of your life, but if your child is hungry and crying..... Yeah, one of those days.....

If you choose to work from home, the obvious thing to do first is decide what you would like to do. You have to think about what you know to do, skills and knowledge that you already have of course, but other things that you can do and do well, and would be profitable to you and your family, and consider your options. You can also decide to concentrate on a talent that you have, like writing, and give it a try. Many publications, including major ones, accept freelance articles. You just have to look for them.

You would also have to think about what it will take to set it up and get it running. It is a real business that you are setting up, only from home... Once you have a plan, you might need extra advice from other professionals re financial advisers, etc.. to help you figure out the steps and the financial issues, how much to invest, how much it might bring in, how long it will take to bring real profit, etc...

Even from home, you will have to network, market, advertise, some kind of way, if you don't want to remain the best kept secret in town and beyond.

Once you launch, that's actually when you may start actually pulling your hair out! Because, you will be "working", you will need the time and space, but your are mom and wife and right at hand.... So, it's a different type of juggling. You'll have to set some boundaries too.

Working from home, you can work for yourself and have your own business, or you can get into telecommuting work. A lot of companies are open to that now.
There is a lot out there who claim to specialise in helping woman to work from home. There is also a lot of schemes among them so, be wise about it. I found out for myself that if it looks too good to be true, chances are it is.

Also, and this is just my opinion and experience, when it comes to those issues, I don't think that there specifics for moms of color and others. All moms run into the same day to day issues and deal with them. When you work from home, it's you, nobody else. It's not the traditional work environment. Where sometimes you might have felt that there were obstacles to your professional advancement in a normal job environment, they won't be there when you work from home. It will be mostly about whether you deliver or not, on what level, and it will depend also on how good you are at managing your time.

Here are just a few links, including a good article with the pro and cons of working at home:

www.wahm.com/

www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13468041/

www.freelancemom.com/

[Jasmine]

Thanks nina. that was really helpful.

I will take a look at the websites you provided. Writing is a great option. I even thought about starting a graphic arts business for fun.

I really need to sit down and plan.

[krazeeboi]

Sis. Jasmine, of course I wouldn't be able to advise you in this situation, but I'm praying that you'll eventually become content in whatever you pursue in this regard.

[Jasmine]

Thanks KB!