How Blacks have failed themselves

[Nikkol]

When black men decided it was ok to father children and not care for them.

This was probably something that began when black women were taken from the black men and raped continuously by their masters. Sometimes in front of them. This of course would have an effect on anyone.

When black women decided it was normal to be baby momma's but not wives.

Once again with slavery being raped and at times having the master's children or having children just to have them immediately taken away or sold to someone else.

When black men decided to allow other races view of the black woman become his view of the black woman. Even to allow himself to be at the forefront of negative images of black women.

That has much to do with what they saw for years and years. Stereotypes at times are hard to kill.

When black men said it was ok to refer to black women as @#$%&^% and ho's. When black women said that it was acceptable and starting appearing in videos depicting us as such.

Some of this could be based on the education factor and the belittling of men that occurs (esp. in churches) Women who wanted to feel desireable (which also may be a cyclical effect of slavery) thought that dressing and doing certain behaviours would get them the attention that they were looking for.

When lil black boys and girls are allowed to grow up listening to all kinds of crazy music. Do any and all kinds of dancing.

Many just haven't learned how to express themselves and can only express who they are based on what they see around them. Remember that music is major in many things, religion (true or false) and feelings, etc.

Talk back to grown ups and drop out of School.

Some of this also comes from the lack of respect that occured back in slavery which continued on through the generations in different ways. Dropping out of school can be for many reasons. Depending on the school, one isn't really learning and teachers aren't teaching. Some families need money and that means that the oldest child has to go to work to support the family. Some aren't very good at academics but don't have the money for a special tutor. Some are taunted so much in school that they can't bear to go back.

When getting your hair and nails done come before paying rent.

Sometimes this is due to not looking at the "big picture"... never really learning about responsibility. I don't think that that is really even discussed that much in school. How many schools teach about budgetting and priorities?

When getting rims on your car and a new stereo system are more important than paying child support.

For some it is due to the fact that they don't know if the child is theirs. Some can't even see their child. Others were never taught how to be a father (which is also why it is hard for some men[and women] to understand their relationship with God). This also has to do with not learning about responsibility or the consequences to their actions. Some try to hurt the mother but don't understand how much it can hurt the child.....

When you are laid up with a man who already has multiple children and you have one with him then start complaining that he is a no good father

This sometimes has to do with the thought of "I can change him." This is the same reason why women who say they are saved date and marry unsaved men. I guess that part that wants to be able to rescue others from what they feel is wrong. Others just believe the lies that he says.

When black men decide that their 7 year old sons are to old to show affection to . Because showing to much affection makes him a punk.

Beulah, you may be able to help in this area. There is definitely a difference between how treatment is by your culture. I learned a lot of interesting things from a man that owns a store that is very ethnic in reference to black people. This even goes into the way that a man in a culture "wins" a woman.

When our women tell our men how we don't need them.

Defense mechanism. I also think that when women began to date different men seeing if they were "the one" that helped this. Additionally, some "well-known" women who would start saying this from the pulpit....... this also brought up a greater population of lesbians who added to the "I don't need a man" the saying "noone knows a women's body better than a women." Between this and the education and wanting the men to be that and then some and not treating him like the "king"......

When getting the hook up is more important than being honest.

Whatever feels good is good............ that's the saying that has become quoted over and over again and when something is repeated, it can easily become what you believe.

When Sunday morning is for sleeping late and or going to work to get over time pay instead of going to worship the Lord is acceptable.

Well, of course not everyone has church on Sundays... but besides that, a lot has to do with meeting the needs of the people. One could ask if church was suppose to be in a specific building on a given day or if we as the church should be going out meeting the needs of the people.

Also, some people who do have jobs have purchased things above their means (goes back to education and knowing how to budget) and has to make more money to afford a lifestyle that's too rich for themselves.

When you would rather lay on your butt all day instead of getting a job and providing for your family.

Some people don't have the skills to get a job, let alone a job that can afford a family. Unlike many people say, not everyone can get a job at a fast food restaurant and depending on how many times a person has been told "no", it's hard for them to get on their feet and try again. For others, their family has no problem taking care of them and if people know that they can "get around the system", they will.

When a black man thinks it's ok for the women to be the only one working in the family.

This also is sometimes a education factor. If a small child is home and the wife hsa a higher income than the husband.... sometimes, the wife puts the man down about the fact that he doesn't have a "good" job which really hurts a black man who 's only defense for channelling it may be to start name calling or just not work at all.

Before one responds, this is not to make "excuses" for people but rather to show that sometimes, the effects of things that have occurred a long time ago can linger on. And if someone doesn't have Jesus, that can be expected because "sinners do what sinners do".

This is why we have to change a generation. Stop the cycle from occurring over and over. I'm in the midst of trying to put something together to start helping the young women with schooling, resumes, interviews (husband will be starting something with the men) in the area around the church so that we can do what we can to change a generation. If we would all do that for even ONE person, what a difference that would make.

[Destiny]

Awesome Post this is. Really awesome.

[Beck]

keita said:

For me, Blacks failing themselves is secondary to, and a direct result of something so much deeper; Blacks failing God.

As I believe that Black people are the original and first of God's people, I also believe that failure, as well as the history and prophecy of it, reasons for it, and the only way out, are all to be found in the Truth of God's Word.

Short,sweet and too the point!!

[lanl ns]

electladynb said:

When black men decided it was ok to father children and not care for them.

This was probably something that began when black women were taken from the black men and raped continuously by their masters. Sometimes in front of them. This of course would have an effect on anyone.



Once again with slavery being raped and at times having the master's children or having children just to have them immediately taken away or sold to someone else.



That has much to do with what they saw for years and years. Stereotypes at times are hard to kill.



Some of this could be based on the education factor and the belittling of men that occurs (esp. in churches) Women who wanted to feel desireable (which also may be a cyclical effect of slavery) thought that dressing and doing certain behaviours would get them the attention that they were looking for.


Many just haven't learned how to express themselves and can only express who they are based on what they see around them. Remember that music is major in many things, religion (true or false) and feelings, etc.



Some of this also comes from the lack of respect that occured back in slavery which continued on through the generations in different ways. Dropping out of school can be for many reasons. Depending on the school, one isn't really learning and teachers aren't teaching. Some families need money and that means that the oldest child has to go to work to support the family. Some aren't very good at academics but don't have the money for a special tutor. Some are taunted so much in school that they can't bear to go back.


Sometimes this is due to not looking at the "big picture"... never really learning about responsibility. I don't think that that is really even discussed that much in school. How many schools teach about budgetting and priorities?



For some it is due to the fact that they don't know if the child is theirs. Some can't even see their child. Others were never taught how to be a father (which is also why it is hard for some men[and women] to understand their relationship with God). This also has to do with not learning about responsibility or the consequences to their actions. Some try to hurt the mother but don't understand how much it can hurt the child.....



This sometimes has to do with the thought of "I can change him." This is the same reason why women who say they are saved date and marry unsaved men. I guess that part that wants to be able to rescue others from what they feel is wrong. Others just believe the lies that he says.



Beulah, you may be able to help in this area. There is definitely a difference between how treatment is by your culture. I learned a lot of interesting things from a man that owns a store that is very ethnic in reference to black people. This even goes into the way that a man in a culture "wins" a woman.



Defense mechanism. I also think that when women began to date different men seeing if they were "the one" that helped this. Additionally, some "well-known" women who would start saying this from the pulpit....... this also brought up a greater population of lesbians who added to the "I don't need a man" the saying "noone knows a women's body better than a women." Between this and the education and wanting the men to be that and then some and not treating him like the "king"......


Whatever feels good is good............ that's the saying that has become quoted over and over again and when something is repeated, it can easily become what you believe.



Well, of course not everyone has church on Sundays... but besides that, a lot has to do with meeting the needs of the people. One could ask if church was suppose to be in a specific building on a given day or if we as the church should be going out meeting the needs of the people.

Also, some people who do have jobs have purchased things above their means (goes back to education and knowing how to budget) and has to make more money to afford a lifestyle that's too rich for themselves.



Some people don't have the skills to get a job, let alone a job that can afford a family. Unlike many people say, not everyone can get a job at a fast food restaurant and depending on how many times a person has been told "no", it's hard for them to get on their feet and try again. For others, their family has no problem taking care of them and if people know that they can "get around the system", they will.

When a black man thinks it's ok for the women to be the only one working in the family.

This also is sometimes a education factor. If a small child is home and the wife hsa a higher income than the husband.... sometimes, the wife puts the man down about the fact that he doesn't have a "good" job which really hurts a black man who 's only defense for channelling it may be to start name calling or just not work at all.

Before one responds, this is not to make "excuses" for people but rather to show that sometimes, the effects of things that have occurred a long time ago can linger on. And if someone doesn't have Jesus, that can be expected because "sinners do what sinners do".

This is why we have to change a generation. Stop the cycle from occurring over and over. I'm in the midst of trying to put something together to start helping the young women with schooling, resumes, interviews (husband will be starting something with the men) in the area around the church so that we can do what we can to change a generation. If we would all do that for even ONE person, what a difference that would make.

First of all let me apologize, this post is probably going to be long......

Nikkol, I agree with some of the things you have said. However, I disagree to the fact that the breakdown of the "Black" family is a result of slavery.

I say that because in the 40's, 50's and 60's you did not have this onset of people agreeing with the masses that it was OK for a woman to have a child out of wedlock, or that it was OK for Black men to father children and not marry them.

As I have said many times before MY PARENTS had to marry once it was known that my mom was pregnant. My father felt OBLIGATED to do so.

What happened is the acceptance / incorporation of these " 1970's - 1980's Hollywood" images telling black males and females that it is OK to be treated this way.

One breakdown in the community was the education of the "black woman" and my ALL TIME hated phrase "Independent Strong Black Woman" became the target to tear down black relationships.

The mind set of I am "single and satisfied" and don't need a man became prevalent in the 70's.

As much of our mindset "should and could" be related to slavery, it is NOT the failing of Black America happened in the 70's.

We accepted the "revolutionary sex movement" as OK, we accepted homosexuality under the disguise of free love as OK, we accepted so many of the Devils subtle tactics until it has destroyed our community.

SEGREGATION killed the black communities!!!!!!!!! period

[krazeeboi]

LANL, with that last sentence, don't you mean "integration"?

[livinganewlife]

Yes KB, I meant INTEGRATION killed the black community! PERIOD good looking out, mind getting overloaded

I got so worked up that my words got twisted. ;D

I also wanted to talk about the impact of SEGREGATION vs INTERGRATION....

I'll come back for that I am tired now

[Nikkol]

LANL... I actually don't really disagree with what you said.

The reason I used slavery is because there was a breakup of family, not by the black man but rather due to their masters..... just looking at where the seed was first planted......

But integration is definitely a good issue that is very important in understanding......

[krazeeboi]

This is taking an interesting turn, because right now I am in the middle of an EXCELLENT read on integration entitled The Failures of Integration: How Race and Class are Undermining the American Dream by Georgetown University law professor Sheryll D. Cashin. I would encourage ALL to get the book and read it. It has brought so much clarity to certain phenomena we see in this nation and is extremely informative.

[stillfocused]

What really lies at the root of the all the destruction we see around us ? It's because of people who turned away from God and began to ran after whoredoms and gods that were less important that the Almighty God. Now I really understand why God told the Israelites not to marry into the other nations; because these people would their hearts to turn from God and have trusting in their gods who though it seemed had power; had no power at all. There are alot factors in the failing of the black family; yet, the most factor of all is that somehow we lost a fear of the living God. Proverbs 29:18 is very clear in stating that were there is no vision the people are unrestrained (nasb)

[krazeeboi]

Now THIS is one for controversy:

Moral poverty cost blacks in New Orleans

by Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson

Posted: September 21, 2005
1:00 a.m. Eastern

© 2005 WorldNetDaily.com

Say a hurricane is about to destroy the city you live in. Two questions:
1. What would you do?
2. What would you do if you were black?

Sadly, the two questions don't have the same answer.

To the first: Most of us would take our families out of that city quickly to protect them from danger. Then, able-bodied men would return to help others in need, as wives and others cared for children, elderly, infirm and the like.

For better or worse, Hurricane Katrina has told us the answer to the second question. If you're black and a hurricane is about to destroy your city, then you'll probably wait for the government to save you.

This was not always the case. Prior to 40 years ago, such a pathetic performance by the black community in a time of crisis would have been inconceivable. The first response would have come from black men. They would take care of their families, bring them to safety, and then help the rest of the community. Then local government would come in.

No longer. When 75 percent of New Orleans residents had left the city, it was primarily immoral, welfare-pampered blacks that stayed behind and waited for the government to bail them out. This, as we know, did not turn out good results.

Enter Jesse Jackson and Louis Farrakhan. Jackson and Farrakhan laid blame on "racist" President Bush. Farrakhan actually proposed the idea that the government blew up a levee so as to kill blacks and save whites. The two demanded massive governmental spending to rebuild New Orleans, above and beyond the federal government's proposed $60 billion. Not only that, these two were positioning themselves as the gatekeepers to supervise the dispersion of funds. Perfect: Two of the most dishonest elite blacks in America, "overseeing" billions of dollars. I wonder where that money will end up.

Of course, if these two were really serious about laying blame on government, they should blame the local one. Responsibility to perform – legally and practically – fell first on the mayor of New Orleans. We are now all familiar with Mayor Ray Nagin – the black Democrat who likes to yell at President Bush for failing to do Nagin's job. The facts, unfortunately, do not support Nagin's wailing. As the Washington Times puts it, "recent reports show [Nagin] failed to follow through on his own city's emergency-response plan, which acknowledged that thousands of the city's poorest residents would have no way to evacuate the city."

One wonders how there was "no way" for these people to evacuate the city. We have photographic evidence telling us otherwise. You've probably seen it by now – the photo showing 200 parked school buses, unused and underwater. How much planning does it require to put people on a bus and leave town, Mayor Nagin?

Instead of doing the obvious, Mayor Nagin (with no positive contribution from Democratic Gov. Kathleen Blanco, the other major leader vested with responsibility to address the hurricane disaster) loaded remaining New Orleans residents into the Superdome and the city's convention center. We know how that plan turned out.

About five years ago, in a debate before the National Association of Black Journalists, I stated that if whites were to just leave the United States and let blacks run the country, they would turn America into a ghetto within 10 years. The audience, shall we say, disagreed with me strongly. Now I have to disagree with me. I gave blacks too much credit. It took a mere three days for blacks to turn the Superdome and the convention center into ghettos, rampant with theft, rape and murder.

President Bush is not to blame for the rampant immorality of blacks. Had New Orleans' black community taken action, most would have been out of harm's way. But most were too lazy, immoral and trifling to do anything productive for themselves.

All Americans must tell blacks this truth. It was blacks' moral poverty – not their material poverty – that cost them dearly in New Orleans. Farrakhan, Jackson, and other race hustlers are to be repudiated – they will only perpetuate this problem by stirring up hatred and applauding moral corruption. New Orleans, to the extent it is to be rebuilt, should be remade into a dependency-free, morally strong city where corruption is opposed and success is applauded. Blacks are obligated to help themselves and not depend on the government to care for them. We are all obligated to tell them so.


The Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson is founder and president of BOND, the Brotherhood Organization of A New Destiny, and author of Scam: How the Black Leadership Exploits Black America.

And yes, this dude is Black.

[stillfocused1]

Interesting !! But, again when we stop blaming each other and speaking negativity into each other..then we'll get somewhere other than Fingerpointing Lane.

[lanl ns]

I agree with some of what Bro. Petersen has written. In the old days before "integration" blacks men and women did have a sense of community and pride. The black community took care of the Black community.

What we saw in NO would not have happened in the 40's, 50's and 60's because blacks had a common goal and a common purpose.

We lost that sense of self when we started thinking that "white was right" and that ACCEPTANCE and VALIDATION by white people was the only way to determine who we were.

Many blacks left their communities only to migrate to Suburbia where the "white is right" mind set was prevalent among middle class black. For to long those in the fight have Sold us OUT completely.

I have a problem with the Civil Rights Movement all together ............. but that's another topic.

[Beck]

krazeeboi said:

About five years ago, in a debate before the National Association of Black Journalists, I stated that if whites were to just leave the United States and let blacks run the country, they would turn America into a ghetto within 10 years. The audience, shall we say, disagreed with me strongly. Now I have to disagree with me. I gave blacks too much credit. It took a mere three days for blacks to turn the Superdome and the convention center into ghettos, rampant with theft, rape and murder.

[Destiny]

In as much as I try to avoid being bashful, like someone said in an earlier post we are our own enemy. We destroy ourself and then cry we are under attack!

Read this article about the fiasco in the city of Dallas and you will see what I am talking about.
www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/101405dnmetfbicompanies.1caf1bb5.html

Blessings