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Post by kitty on Jan 17, 2008 17:52:40 GMT -5
Hey Guys,
I have a question for you all... Just today I was surfing the net and I saw that the recent "marriage" of Eddie Murphy to Tracy Edmonds just bit the dust.
Now I can't say I thought them getting married was a good idea considering that they both just got recently divorced...But I was indeed surprised at just how quickly it fell apart!!
Then there was a article that showed just how many people got divorced over the past year. And it was many people... somethat had been married for over 10-15 years.
That got me to thinking guys....
If a marriage is not put together by God does it ever last? Seriously... I am starting to wonder if it is possible that people who get married on their own and of their free will can have a marriage last in many cases for a very long time. But that it can never go the distance because it is based on their own strength and God is not involved.
I mean sure there is no surprise in the fact that a worldly couple got a quickie marriage and then a quickie divorce...
But let's look at marriages within the Christian community. Starting even with the likes of Juanita Bynum and others.... Surely at some point Juanita probably prayed for her marriage to work out but it didn't....
Could it be that those marriaged don't work out because the people are outside of God's will?
Or does God really truly honor marriage of people that simply get together? Can 2 people that weren't God's choice for each other choose to get married and God simply honor their decision and bless them with a good marriage?
What do you guys think?
Kitty
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Post by Jasmine on Jan 17, 2008 18:51:14 GMT -5
I am not surprised at all. Eddie Murphy has been said to have had male relationships with Arsenio Hall (way back in the day) and Johnnie Gil was said to be his live in boyfriend. I remember seeing pictures of them coming out of a gay club, but hey..not my business.
I was more surprised that she would marry eddie murphy, considering he is a serious downgrade from Baby face...but thats just me.
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Post by livinganewlife on Jan 22, 2008 7:55:49 GMT -5
Hey Guys, I have a question for you all... Just today I was surfing the net and I saw that the recent "marriage" of Eddie Murphy to Tracy Edmonds just bit the dust. Now I can't say I thought them getting married was a good idea considering that they both just got recently divorced...But I was indeed surprised at just how quickly it fell apart!! Then there was a article that showed just how many people got divorced over the past year. And it was many people... somethat had been married for over 10-15 years. That got me to thinking guys.... If a marriage is not put together by God does it ever last? Seriously... I am starting to wonder if it is possible that people who get married on their own and of their free will can have a marriage last in many cases for a very long time. But that it can never go the distance because it is based on their own strength and God is not involved. I mean sure there is no surprise in the fact that a worldly couple got a quickie marriage and then a quickie divorce... But let's look at marriages within the Christian community. Starting even with the likes of Juanita Bynum and others.... Surely at some point Juanita probably prayed for her marriage to work out but it didn't.... Could it be that those marriaged don't work out because the people are outside of God's will? Or does God really truly honor marriage of people that simply get together? Can 2 people that weren't God's choice for each other choose to get married and God simply honor their decision and bless them with a good marriage? What do you guys think? Kitty Kitty, we may need to do a Bible study on this subject and let's just see what the Word of God says concerning marriage..... Of course we all know the scripture "what God has joined together let no man put asunder" but when I get some time later today I am going to see exactly what the Word says about marriages.......... because I have heard some ministers say in some sermons that "if you didn't get your husband by praying, fasting and seeking God that you got him illegally" (quote from Juanita Bynum) and I have also heard in some sermons "that God will break up some marriages in order to put you with your God ordained spouse" (quote from A R Williams). I' ll be back to this topic.... |
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Post by Jasmine on Jan 22, 2008 19:19:46 GMT -5
God laws of marriage is simple :When a man leaves his father and mother, He cleaves to his wife. They are ONE flesh. They are joined together. No man can separate them. Only God can cause two flesh to become one. SO they are now joined by God as one.
I don't believe that God break marriages up. I believe that people get wrapped up in flesh, and it causes a breach in the spirit. However many individuals opt out of relationships..due to a broken covenants.
after your bad relationship and ensuring that you have a ligitimate reason to marry again, I do believe that God can and in most cases will send you another mate. It is because that individual was the "God ordained spouse"..I don't think so.
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Post by kitty on Jan 22, 2008 21:17:49 GMT -5
Living,
I think it would be a really good idea to do a study on marriage.
Years before I simply believed that if 2 people simply met and had honorable intentions and got married then mostly likely they would have a good marriage. That they would have a blessed marriage. That all it really takes was going before God and the church to get marriage and then God simply blessed it.
But as time as gone by... And I have seen some things including a few marriages fall a part that I never expected to... My thinking has started to change. In fact just recently one close friend that is in the process of dissolving her marriage of ten years admitted to me that her husband had cheated on her a few times during their marriage. I was surprised because her husband is a saved Christian man. In fact when he corted her he didn't attempt to have premartial sex with her because he was saved. He told her that he wanted to get married. So I was amazed that the same man who happened to grow up in the church turned around and cheated on his wife.
But that's not even the biggest shocker of the whole situation... What shocked me the most was that she said her husband started cheating the FIRST YEAR they were married!!! In fact she became aware of it right after giving birth to their first child!
She stated that she tried to hold her marriage together for the next 9 years with included years of counseling. She said she simply got to the point were she was just out of steam and she just couldn't take being unhappy anymore.
And now that they are heading toward divorce court you want to know what her husband's answer is to the whole ordeal? " I should have never married you...."
Now where as her husband's words seems crass and mean... I have to say. Maybe he's on to something. Maybe the truth is that he really shouldn't have married her. Maybe he didn't have the right motives in mind, maybe he didn't pray about it, maybe he wasn't honest about what he was seeking in a wife?
But on my friends end... We are all kind of stumped because prior to their marriage there were no indications that he wasn't going to be a good husband. I mean this was a single man, saved, never had been married, no kids, seemed gentle and friendly. Was active in church, came from a good stable family. I can't think of one clue that would have given anyway the truth that he was going to be a bad husband.
So that made me think too... That it's not enough just to try to use wisdom. But in order to have a good marriage that God has to be involved.
Kitty
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Post by kitty on Jan 22, 2008 21:22:44 GMT -5
Living...
Now I do believe that people should seek God and pray for a husband... But Juanita's whole idea about getting one ilegally.... Man she shouldn't be one to talk! because apparently she wasnt practicing what she was preaching!!
Plus I think what she states there is unbibical....
Kitty
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Post by livinganewlife on Jan 23, 2008 12:16:20 GMT -5
God laws of marriage is simple :When a man leaves his father and mother, He cleaves to his wife. They are ONE flesh. They are joined together. No man can separate them. Only God can cause two flesh to become one. SO they are now joined by God as one. I don't believe that God break marriages up. I believe that people get wrapped up in flesh, and it causes a breach in the spirit. However many individuals opt out of relationships..due to a broken covenants. after your bad relationship and ensuring that you have a ligitimate reason to marry again, I do believe that God can and in most cases will send you another mate. It is because that individual was the "God ordained spouse"..I don't think so. Jasmine, I agree..... However I must ask that if God joined the two together and "no man" can put asunder (widely seperated).......... How is divorce justified between two people who God joined together? |
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Post by Jasmine on Jan 23, 2008 12:39:48 GMT -5
God laws of marriage is simple :When a man leaves his father and mother, He cleaves to his wife. They are ONE flesh. They are joined together. No man can separate them. Only God can cause two flesh to become one. SO they are now joined by God as one. I don't believe that God break marriages up. I believe that people get wrapped up in flesh, and it causes a breach in the spirit. However many individuals opt out of relationships..due to a broken covenants. after your bad relationship and ensuring that you have a ligitimate reason to marry again, I do believe that God can and in most cases will send you another mate. It is because that individual was the "God ordained spouse"..I don't think so. Jasmine, I agree..... However I must ask that if God joined the two together and "no man" can put asunder (widely seperated).......... How is divorce justified between two people who God joined together? In answering your question, I believe that whether or not God joins a union, there are still two individuals involved who must committ to making it work. Its still a union joined by God, however the flesh, can destroy. I would also say that there are provisions in the bible which allows for divorce. For example, adultery! God has joined 2 individuals together, they are now one, however one goes outside of the marriage, and the covenant vows are now broken. The bible makes provisions in his law that allows a divorce. In my overall opinion, I think that God would prefer that we Forgive, and not divorce, but it is an option that we do have. |
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Post by giantsdodie on Jan 23, 2008 12:57:22 GMT -5
This is the thing about marriage..
In some respects we have made marriage mystical....
Like if God puts it togther it will automatically work... thats not the case.. its the best CONDITION for marriage but the individuals must be COMMITTED to GOD and to EACH OTHER to continue to make it work... and thats what a marriage is.. Its work.. Its a labor of love but it is WORK...
What kills a marriage faster than anything is selfishness.
This is soooooooooooooooooo true....
As far as grounds for divorce.. I stick with what I call the 4 A's
Adultery
Abandonment
Abuse
Addiction
However the rules for REMARRIAGE thats w hole different story..
We have a lot of folks getting divorced and remarried in the Body that shouldnt...
( no names shall be mentioned..... )
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Post by livinganewlife on Jan 23, 2008 13:05:50 GMT -5
Thanks for the responses...................
How can two saved, sanctified, holy ghost filled ministers of the gospel justify divorce when the only cause for divorce is irreconcilable differences?
How can two saved, sanctified, holy ghost filled, ministers of the gospel not live together on Earth in harmony?
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Post by livinganewlife on Jan 23, 2008 13:06:19 GMT -5
This is the thing about marriage.. In some respects we have made marriage mystical.... True dat! |
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Post by giantsdodie on Jan 23, 2008 13:34:05 GMT -5
Thanks for the responses................... How can two saved, sanctified, holy ghost filled ministers of the gospel justify divorce when the only cause for divorce is irreconcilable differences? How can two saved, sanctified, holy ghost filled, ministers of the gospel not live together on Earth in harmony? Ask yourself this question.... Why do you sin.. Why do you fall short... We need to stop making these people out to be more than they are.. They are human beings.. I dont care how holy ghost filled you are.. The issue isnt how filled you are its how LED by the Holy Ghost your are... Its like my wife's aunt said to her... When we got engaged my wife told her " i had the Holy Ghost " She asked her.. ' Does the Holy Ghost have him  " THATS the question.. People need to rcognize one things.. ministers are REGULAR people used of God. They do not walk around all day in a trance communing with God. People tend to see the anointing and assume thats the way those people are all the time.. The anointing is for SERVICE... period.. When the ministers go home they have to do the same things everyone else does.. Live by the WORD and be Led by the SPIRIT.... and anytime they dont... well.. there ya go... |
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Post by livinganewlife on Jan 23, 2008 14:08:10 GMT -5
GDD thanks for the response however if we just keep labeling Pastors and Leaders as regular people than what is it that separate us from the world?
I know it is our acceptance of Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour that separates us from sinners but what characteristics or lifestyle choices should we practice that separate "saints" from "sinners" especially our leaders....
Are we (general) saying the Holy Ghost and the power of God's salvation is not enough to keep us holy or to keep our daily walk in check?
How can saints of God truly love the Lord whom we have not seen but hate our spouse who is our first neighbor and truly live out the Bible command to Love thy neigbhor.....
We (general) love and uphold our neighbor, church member and ministers whom some we will never see but turn around and cuss out our children and spouses who we see daily.......
I'm just pondering.............
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Post by giantsdodie on Jan 23, 2008 14:23:46 GMT -5
Understand what I mean when I say regular people. I mean that they are human beings subject to the same conditions, required to love by the same Bible, and also in the same flesh, and have the same capacity to make mistakes, fall short and just flat out sin. Their being in ministry does not exempt them from that, nor does bing in ministry give them extrodinary power to overcome it. Ministers must operate the same way in their daily lives as lay people do.
In my opinion.. none... while leaders certainly must walk more circumspectly we are ALL required to live Holy even as GOD is holy.. Holiness is the standard.. We must ALL crucify our flesh DAILY and mortify its deeds.. we must ALL put on the mind of Christ..
The question isnt whether GOD has the ability to keep you Holy.. He most certainly does. The question is whether or not you ALLOW that power to operate in your life. GOD can keep ANYONE who wants to be kept.. but if you dont want to be kept.. God aint gonna MAKE YOU be kept...
Because saints dont always obey the Word...
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Post by Jasmine on Jan 24, 2008 1:28:23 GMT -5
Absolutely Brother, Absolutely!
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