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Post by livinganewlife on Jun 8, 2009 9:30:59 GMT -5
I have a question:
Where is the testimony regarding marriage as Saints of God if we don't believe that God is able to establish, coordinate and bring to pass our marriages............
What Glory are we giving to God if we don't believe His word regarding marriage and our spouses....
Where is the Faith...........where is it recorded that God gives a Word to his people and the road to manifestation is easy without any trials, doubts, bumps and bruises.......
Are we (general) looking for a move of God for our marriages or fairy tales?
The problem IMO is that saints of God have started to mix psychology (Oprah and Dr. Phil) with the Word of God and therefore here comes the problems..........
Psychology says relationships should go one way(a scripted plan).......God says trust me and I will bring it to pass whether you can see me working or not!
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Post by kitty on Jun 8, 2009 11:16:37 GMT -5
Hey Living,
Now I will be the first to say that i don't look to Oprah for relationship advice... But i can't say that Dr. Phil is too bad... Heck he even had TD Jakes on his show one time to discuss marriages. So what about the advice they give would you disagree with?
Living I know you have the testimony about the young girl and the ball player. And it seems to be coming to pass at this point in time...and i say "seems" to because they aren't married yet. But for your one testimony about an "unlikely" situation that may be/is turning out well... I can name at least 10 or more that aren't and didn't.
How can 2 walk together unless they agree? It is my personal experience... and from what i have seen in the situations around me that if a man has decided that he doesn't want to be with you or marry you then "regardless" of what you think you may have heard. There's probably 75-90% chance that you haven't heard from God.
Here is my reasoning as to why.... Let's look at the cases where God brought people together.... Adam immediately declared Eve to his flesh and bones thus his family and wife... God declared that a man will leave his family and cleave to his wife... So for me if a man isn't at least trying to discuss marriage and figure out how to cleave to me... then I'm ruling him out as the one God sent.
I would have saved a lot of wasted time by not hanging on... Or over looking situations that weren't right. Such as the times when those men in questioned stopped pursuing me. But still leading me into being hopeful and confsuion because they were still doing plenty of things to suggest interest... That plus what I received was more than enough to keep me "standing on false words". Heck the last guy that got married has made it a point to try not to break all ties... Even when I'm making a motion to... I'm not clear why? Certainly isn't not because he thinks i'm gonna be a "mistress" I have never been intimate with him and he knows that I've moved on to another relationship.
BUT>>>> I know plenty other people in my shoes would call themselves "standing on God's word" and waiting for a divorce.
But not me... I don't believe what i got was from God... After all he ended up marrying someone else...
This is why for me in particular... I'm looking for the power of God to work my relationships out. I'm looking for God to work thing out in my circumstances... I have faith that He can...
Nina yes... common sense does have to come into play...and that is hard when people may have really 'received" something "superantural' that may be more of the occult or folks practicing divination opposed to God.
But for the rest of my life... a man that is not trying to marry is automatically off my list as one that God sent! LOL
Kitty
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Post by kitty on Jun 8, 2009 11:24:17 GMT -5
Nina...
I agree and you stated what I have been trying to say... Nothing is 100%...
Not because God's word doesn't come to pass100% of the time...
But because people aren't hearing from God 100% of the time...
Kitty
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Post by nina2 on Jun 8, 2009 15:11:32 GMT -5
I greatly appreciate you facing those questions openly. And if it helps only one, then it won't be in vain... :-)
God's word does come to pass, 100% of the time. And this part, for some reason - even though in a different context - reminds me of something that Bishop TD Jakes said a few years ago. He said "the problem with the church today is that we pray about things that we USED TO cast out"....
Imho, about the second part of your statement, and people who aren't hearing from God 100% of the time, I do believe that God's silence speaks more loudly than any "word"... As Giants mentioned, if indeed we are taking directions from Him, and are willing to yield, then when He is silent, it's time to stop, draw close and closer, and be willing to wait... With Him, it is all "in due time". Many think that, as they wait, they are "wasting" time, but in the waiting, there is so much that God is able to reveal, and I know I am repeating myself, but especially about our OWN self, in preparing us for whatever/whoever/both He has in store for us and ahead of us....
Basically, if we can't be satisfied and live with our own self, nobody else will....
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Post by livinganewlife on Jun 8, 2009 15:53:01 GMT -5
Hey Living, Here is my reasoning as to why.... Let's look at the cases where God brought people together.... Adam immediately declared Eve to his flesh and bones thus his family and wife... God declared that a man will leave his family and cleave to his wife... So for me if a man isn't at least trying to discuss marriage and figure out how to cleave to me... then I'm ruling him out as the one God sent. Kitty Let's look at Adam and Eve for a minute here...............You will notice that Adam didn't immediately know Eve was his wife as Adam was put to sleep while Eve was being made......It wasn't until God awaken Adam that he noticed that Eve was flesh of his flesh bone of his bone...... Moving forward if God is making you the woman it is a possibility that your mate is probably asleep even though you know he is the one for you...... In scripture Eve never waived on Adam's position for her life.....she already knew Adam was her man (husband)...in scripture Eve didn't question God, she didn't doubt God when Adam showed up she knew he was the one for her....... Which brings me to this point many times the woman does know before the man especially if she is being made a wife  |
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Post by kitty on Jun 8, 2009 15:54:05 GMT -5
Nina,
That was a powerful word that T.D. Jakes said... "we pray about what we used to cast out!"
If you can't say Amen say Ouch!!!
I can say OOOUCHH!!!
Especially in the first situation that I had believed I heard from God about. That guy... who also had declared that he heard from the Lord and had intiated us praying daily to thank the Lord for our future marriage, kids and grandkids...yeah folks grandkids! LOL
I thought , "Wow" I just know he heard from the Lord... he's taking his role as the head by leading us prayer! What a Godly man!
Well that joker broke up with me because he couldn't hang with the no sex before marriage deal. Some woman that had been chasing him around final got him to have sex with her. And yes... he eventually married her about 3-4 years later.
But for a whole year and a half... I held on because of what I had received "spiritually". I thought the devil is just tempting him... Others told me to hang on and "pray it through"... I even thought of Hosea and Gomer... Some people said "God just working on him..." "God is testing your faith..."
But what I should have said to myself was... Would God really do this???
And yes.... I too ended up praying on something that I normal would have simply cast out! LOL
Kitty
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Post by stillfocused on Jun 8, 2009 20:36:04 GMT -5
Kitty..I can relate to that..I prayed for a man for 7 yrs..in between break ups..even asking the Lord to remove him from my life if he was not the man he had for me..he did and went right back and asked Him to restore the relationship ( can't honestly say it was God)..basically doing what I wanted to do..seeking things without a relationship with Lord..oops!! When God really stepped in..he severed the relationship..and I met a brother who went to church..and we prayed and started planning a future together..God was in the mix..not!! I don't believe that believers should date as dating is just want it is..nothing serious and no intention of a true commitment.
Which brings me to this point many times the woman does know before the man especially if she is being made a wife
I believe this is true, too.
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Post by kitty on Jun 9, 2009 6:26:06 GMT -5
Living,
I'm sure that what you are stating is true in very few cases... The problem is that too many woman are telling themselves those same thoughts for situations that God may not have ever intended....
Such as trying to wait out a man while he has gone on with his life and is dating courting and pursuing other people. Sadly of all the "God said" situations that i have run across...This appears to be the most common...
I have seen loads of women in a church declaring that God said the single Pastor was their husband. I used to think the women were just crazy, delusional until I started to hear some of their personal stories... Then I realize that only some of them were delusional. The rest were being spiritually deceived... They had dreams, prophetic words spoken to them as "confirmations". And I don't know how many would have claimed to have peace and present a false dignity while their "God declared" husband moves right along with another woman who says that God said he was her husband too. And the pastor of the church was literally under spitiual attack because he had all these women coming after him thus testing his resolve to remain pure...
I heard of the same groups of women break down to the point of witchcraft trying to pray each other "away" from "their" husbands...
I mean seriously ya'll... People get deep... deep into the wrong direction!
Living... You asked a very important questions a few post back do we have faith in God to bring spouses and marriages together? Do we want a move or God of a fairy tale? I think the question we should ask is do we want our own testimony or to have one just like someone else?
I have faith in God to bring me a husband and marriage...But i stopped believing that He has to tell me who up front. Especially because armed with this so called "information" only caused me to error and stand for things that I shouldn't. I think that is the case with many women walking around with a so called word...
Their not using common sense... Or better yet... let's say it a different way. They are not using discernment!
Living I do believe there are cases where one person knows before another does... But that shouldn't go on for years and years...
Kitty
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Post by kitty on Jun 9, 2009 6:50:25 GMT -5
Guys,
There is something else that I want to point out... it is very important.
While we as Christian woman pray and believe that God has just one particular choice in mind do you all realize that Christian men are of the mind set that God is presenting them with plenty of choices?
So much so that many popular well know preachers have stated this in their books and sermons... This is true of Creflo Dollar and Myles Monroe....
Heck Myles Monroe is so sick of the false "God said" situations in his church that in his latest book on marriage dating and courtship he even takes it to the extreme to declare that even in the case where God clearly brought people together that it really was God bring the man a "choice" he even goes as far as to say that God will not pick a spouse for you. He had the gall to say that Eve was a "choice" presented to Adam to choose! Heck... we know better because Adam didn't have any other choices! LOL
Now let me state that clearly.... I DO NOT BELIEVE IN WHAT MYLES MONROE IS STATING!
But I want people to realize that most Christian men don't walk around with the same beliefs. So i think we as women have to stop and ask ourselves this... Do we want God to bring us a spouse and a good marriage. Or are we determined to demand and tell God how we want Him to operate in our lives... Because let's face it. God may have His reasons for NOT revealing all that we want to know up front. That may include who we are to marry...
Kitty
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Post by giantsdodie on Jun 9, 2009 8:24:36 GMT -5
I know several men of God right now who are not dating and not running around sampling women all over the place. They are busy doing the work of the Lord believing that GOD will add those things unto them...
Again what I dont see being discussed AT ALL is GOD"S WILL for marriage..
I see desire to be married.. I see hoping to be married.. I see folks waiting on the Lord to be married.. and I see folks dating in hopes of getting married..
What I do NOT see is anyone stating GOD's WHY !!!! and GOD's WHY !!!! is the most important piece of the puzzle..
And for the record I do not believe dating is a Kingdom Principle no matter what Creflo Dollar or Myles Munroe teach or believe.
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Post by nina2 on Jun 10, 2009 2:49:41 GMT -5
Giants, I really believe that, if you want to see GOD'S WHY brought up when it comes to MARRIAGE, you would have to start a thread about it, because yes, it is the most important piece of the puzzle, and it is the least known (in the true sense of "knowing"), least understood, least studied, least accepted and least considered of them all.
It is THE piece, the ONLY piece that can put all the others in the proper order of priorities and yet, only when things turn sour do most people ask "WHY GOD?" instead of first finding out "GOD'S WHY".....
The level you are talking about in MARRIAGE is not spoken of so, maybe it is appropriate for "such a time as this".....
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Post by kitty on Jun 10, 2009 4:20:47 GMT -5
Nina,
I second that... I think we need to have an entire post dedicated to why God wants people to be married... It isn't something that is talked about much. But now I think it is a question I will start to ask couples for my project. What do they believe God's purpose was in their union.
Kitty
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Post by Poetricia (G.A.P.) on Jun 10, 2009 5:19:24 GMT -5
giant's, yes, i also know several single men of god who are not stressin out about getting married, it is a desire of their heart, but right now they are immersed in ministry trusting god to bring it to pass, not dating here there and everywhere either....
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Post by livinganewlife on Jun 10, 2009 8:55:03 GMT -5
Giants, I really believe that, if you want to see GOD'S WHY brought up when it comes to MARRIAGE, you would have to start a thread about it, because yes, it is the most important piece of the puzzle, and it is the least known (in the true sense of "knowing"), least understood, least studied, least accepted and least considered of them all. It is THE piece, the ONLY piece that can put all the others in the proper order of priorities and yet, only when things turn sour do most people ask "WHY GOD?" instead of first finding out "GOD'S WHY"..... The level you are talking about in MARRIAGE is not spoken of so, maybe it is appropriate for "such a time as this"..... I see the amens to Giants comments and I agree wholeheartedly... But the funny thing about asking God WHY is that God will reveal to you the Why and you still are going to have to know His voice and trust everything that He has told you...... Guess what, also when God starts truly revealing the WHY He is going to give you specific information about your spouse...................so either way we look at it there is no way of getting around communicating with God when it comes to believing Him for a spouse..... and once we have truly communicated with God about the WHY guess what we (general) still have to believe and wait on His perfect timing....... Again we are back to receiving a Word from God, confirmation from God, trusting God, communicating with God, and waiting on God to bring it to pass.... I believe that we should be specific with God in terms of prayer requests; however if we would just start praying and talking to God he will reveal to us the What, When, Why's and How's of our lives.... It seems to me that a lot of people want to skirt around the issue of praying and communicating with God (listening to God)..... I didn't have a guide to ask God anything about my marriage, but the Lord told me specifics regarding my marriage........I was just praying and the Lord gave me specifics regarding my husband long before I met him......which is why I say that I met my husband in the spirit before I met him physically..... Be Blessed! |
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Post by keita on Jun 10, 2009 12:13:07 GMT -5
Guys,
While we as Christian woman pray and believe that God has just one particular choice in mind... Well, this Christian woman truly does not believe that at all. As a matter of fact, I think believing and praying like that is a HUGE reason so many women who desire marriage aren't yet married and is EXACTLY why many never will be. And, excluding unbelievers, I believe that mindset is scripturally correct for both Christian men AND women. And I say thank you to Brother Myles for speaking that truth because, like all truth, it really does make us free. I think Adam actually had the same choice we all and yet do, which is to accept or not accept what/who GOD brings, presents, and offers to us. I do. |
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