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Post by Nikkol on Jul 1, 2009 9:13:55 GMT -5
After reading through a couple of the posts on the past few pages, I can't help but wonder what role race plays in all of this, because I don't think White Christians really go through all of this. Maybe it has something to do with Black women and the dearth (or supposed dearth) of "suitable" Black men or something. I also believe that they actually go out in groups rather than just "one on one". It also keeps ppl out of trouble and wondering "how far is too far. My husband puts it this way. "If lust is wrong and fornication is wrong, than anything in between is wrong as well." (that pretty much covers everything). Regarding how long 2 date/court? I think it varies. When my husband asked me to be his girlfriend/wife, we could've gotten married then. I had just started talking to him (as friends cuz like I said in my testimony about him I was NOT interested at all) the end of November of the previous year. It's really a G-d thing. |
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Post by kitty on Jul 1, 2009 17:48:15 GMT -5
Hey Guys,
Krazeboi... I agree with you for your definitions of courting and dating... But you will find that we are out numbered as far as this board is concerned but not in terms of the body of Christ...
Secondly... Yes... this does seem to be more of a black/white issue... You don't find this in majority white churches.... Or as much around more older stabled married saints...
I think the amount of time that two people should court is based on each individual couple. But I raise an eye brow at anything past 3 years for anyone older than 25.
Kitty
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Post by kitty on Jul 1, 2009 18:14:59 GMT -5
Hey Guys,
The past few weeks I have run across a lot of people that I went to school with on face book. On facebook my friend's list includes my first boyfriend in highschool, my first kiss @ age of 10, my junior prom date, my senior prom date, and one homecoming dance date...
I have enjoyed talking with all of them. We have laughed about school, they have shared pictures of kids talked about life plans etc... Then it hit me... I have really fond memories of them... My socialization with them helped me grow as a person.
None of the people caused me to have major heart break? I wonder why that was?
Could it be because I maintained the right behavior with them? Meaning that i never acted inappropiately with them? Never had sex with any of them? Never expected anything but a good time at a dance and hanging out at the mall or the movies?
I definitely think dating is for teens and in most cases...when monitored by parents and schools i think it is a positive experience... It certainly was for me.
Kitty
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Post by stillfocused on Jul 7, 2009 19:44:31 GMT -5
White Christians face some of the same challenges we face. I was in a church wear everybody was dating and most of them have sense married. They faced the challenges of premartial sex and other things. Yet, one thing that I saw and still don't understand is this..when their minds were made up to get married..they were made up..with no regards to parental blessings at all. I know of a young couple who knew right off the bat that they would the other..today they are engaged and planning their wedding and working through the many challenges they will face now.
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Post by Nikkol on Jul 8, 2009 6:46:26 GMT -5
White Christians face some of the same challenges we face. I was in a church wear everybody was dating and most of them have sense married. They faced the challenges of premartial sex and other things. Yet, one thing that I saw and still don't understand is this..when their minds were made up to get married..they were made up..with no regards to parental blessings at all. I know of a young couple who knew right off the bat that they would the other..today they are engaged and planning their wedding and working through the many challenges they will face now. As one who knows how it is to not have "parental blessing". (my parents were ok with it but wanted me to wait a few years and his mom wasn't in approval) I wouldn't say that sometimes the fact that parents have given their blessing or not doesn't supercede what G-d said. We've had challenges (like every married couple) but in Dec it will be 12 years. (hope that brings some clarity) |
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Post by kitty on Jul 8, 2009 18:04:45 GMT -5
Stillfocused,
I don't think many people look for parental blessings anymore. Sadly there aren't enough parent today that are able to look out for their children in figuring out who to marry. Usually they only say something it the person in question is obviously wrong... like a convicted killer! LOL But a side from that they don't usually say much, especially to the men.
Kitty
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