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Post by livinganewlife on Jun 24, 2009 10:45:27 GMT -5
I will agree it's a total mind change. I WISH that I could've waited like my husband did because you go through so many unnecessary issues. Nikkol, I really wish I would have sought God and stayed in constant communication with God about my relationships as I believe that this would have avoided alot of my heartache and tears  |
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Post by Poetricia (G.A.P.) on Jun 24, 2009 11:52:58 GMT -5
If the scripture says In ALL your ways acknowledge him and He will direct your path, that's what it means. We are to acknowledge/seek God in EVERYTHING that we do and as GIANTS has said on numerous occassions, marriage is included. But insofar as the topic -- I think of dating as the secular term used to "see if this person may be marriage material".... or even moreso now, it's so that you can go out with some1, be very close (too close) kiss, hug, etc. But at ANY time, you can choose to stop and find someone else (or even find a few ppl at the same time). In courtship, you know that this is the person that you're going to marry. There's no "trying it out" or being with a lot of ppl at the same time. And based on those you're around, there are other rules made to keep the courtship " untainted" as it was done with the Jews. ..... it's a mind change This is the crux of the difference between dating and courting. Dating is getting to know a person to see if they are marriage material and if they are the one for you (cause a person could be marriage material but not suitable for you). Courting it is understood that the two of you will marry. Each other. Period. That's it in a nutshell. People can define what they are in as courting but that doesn't mean it's courting, it just means that's what you're calling it. I believe that just as there are positive and negative commandments in the Bible, there is what God DOES WILL and what God DOES NOT WILL. As I mentioned before, what God does NOT will is still His will..... Nina, I absolutely love how you brought this thought out. What God does NOT will IS STILL HIS WILL. I really feel like this was for me not sure why yet, but when I read it, I felt the spirit leap within me like God really wanted me to get that. I will be mulling over this thought for the rest of the day. THANK YOU. |
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Post by giantsdodie on Jun 24, 2009 12:52:00 GMT -5
Saints we are walking into dangerous ground when we start saying things like.. If its not God's will it is still His will... That is extremely dangerous at the least and completely erroneous at worst.. The scripture says that it is GOD's desire that NONE perish but that ALL MEN come to repentance.. but all men dont come to repentence... even though that is GOD's will and desire.. So are we then saying that it is GOD's will to send people to hell  That would be contradict what the scripture says... So we have to be VERY VERY careful whan we say that everything that occurs that is NOT God's will is still God's will.. |
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Post by Nikkol on Jun 24, 2009 13:03:54 GMT -5
Saints we are walking into dangerous ground when we start saying things like.. If its not God's will it is still His will... That is extremely dangerous at the least and completely erroneous at worst.. The scripture says that it is GOD's desire that NONE perish but that ALL MEN come to repentance.. but all men dont come to repentence... even though that is GOD's will and desire.. So are we then saying that it is GOD's will to send people to hell That would be contradict what the scripture says... So we have to be VERY VERY careful whan we say that everything that occurs that is NOT God's will is still God's will.. Now this is definitely a different topic.....LOL. But I will say that maybe the problem is the "wording choice". Would it be better to just say "Everything that happens is part of God's will?" |
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Post by giantsdodie on Jun 24, 2009 15:10:50 GMT -5
Saints we are walking into dangerous ground when we start saying things like.. If its not God's will it is still His will... That is extremely dangerous at the least and completely erroneous at worst.. The scripture says that it is GOD's desire that NONE perish but that ALL MEN come to repentance.. but all men dont come to repentence... even though that is GOD's will and desire.. So are we then saying that it is GOD's will to send people to hell That would be contradict what the scripture says... So we have to be VERY VERY careful whan we say that everything that occurs that is NOT God's will is still God's will.. Now this is definitely a different topic.....LOL. But I will say that maybe the problem is the "wording choice". Would it be better to just say "Everything that happens is part of God's will?" No I still dont think that is 100% accurate becuise then it makes GOD responsible for all thing unjust and evil that occur as well.. |
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Post by keita on Jun 24, 2009 17:12:59 GMT -5
Uh-oh. LOLOL!!!  |
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Post by nina2 on Jun 25, 2009 4:32:52 GMT -5
AND, even though I can appreciate and hear your warning, that is absolutely NOT what I said.....
This is what I wrote:
"I believe that just as there are positive and negative commandments in the Bible, there is what God DOES WILL and what God DOES NOT WILL.
And, without playing with word, it is a fact that when talking about God's WILL, we are talking about what HE DOES WANT and what HE DOES NOT WANT.
It is also a fact that WE don't have the power to put words in God's mouth, and no doubt that, when He speaks, and once it is spoken, then IT IS and IT IS SO...
God commands, He does not suggest, put an offer on the table for negociation and asks for our thoughts about it.....
What is a negative COMMANDMENT??
Here is one:
94. Not to burn the sacrificial portions of animals with disqualifying physical blemishes [as sacrifices on the altar], as [Leviticus 22:22] states: "Do not make a fire offering of them."
When God says what He DOES NOT want, he is also saying what He DOES WANT.
Along with that, I wrote:
As I mentioned before, what God does NOT will is still His will.....
If we go back to the beginning, God said:
Genesis - Chapter 216. And the Lord God commanded man, saying, "Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat.
17. But of the Tree of Knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat of it, for on the day that you eat thereof, you shall surely die."
The choice, from the beginning, has always been between life and death, good and evil, light and darkness. From the beginning, God's will was established and perfect.
In this case, God did not just give a negative commandment, He even told MAN the consequence if he did, very simply.
God's will is for us to choose life, and to obey by doing what he commands us to do, and not doing what he commands us not to do.
Jesus said:
Jhn 14:21 He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.
He also said:
Mat 22:36 Master, which [is] the great commandment in the law?
Mat 22:37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
Mat 22:38 This is the first and great commandment.
Mat 22:39 And the second [is] like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
Mat 22:40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.
So, the key to life is love, and the key to love, His love, is not just to have but to keep His commandments. Obedience...
You answered Nikkol's question: " Would it be better to just say "Everything that happens is part of God's will?"
With:
"No I still dont think that is 100% accurate becuise then it makes GOD responsible for all thing unjust and evil that occur as well.. "
Could then the question be: "Was sin - or at least the potential for evil - part of God's plan?"
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Post by Nikkol on Jun 25, 2009 7:02:32 GMT -5
Please go HERE for the "God's will discussion" |
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Post by kitty on Jun 26, 2009 14:05:17 GMT -5
Hey Guys...
Just for the record... I would like to state that since this topic has been posted I have been doing some research and checking out all Christian books and literatre that I can get my hands on that is about marriage, courtships and relationships...
I would like to report that I can't find one Christian book nor web site... Not one, that defines or describes courtship as a process that occurs AFTER two people have decided to marry EACH OTHER... That period has been consistantly defined as engagement...
This leads me to believe those that are stating that it is after 2 people have decided to marry each other is based on individual personal beliefs and opinons and NOT what is being taught in ANY church....
Besides it wouldn't make sense for a couple to have a courtship after deciding to marry... They are engaged and thus should look to marry... Most if not all premartial counseling in churches is for couples who are engaged... Not courting...
Just reporting what I see...
Kitty
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Post by keita on Jun 26, 2009 20:17:16 GMT -5
At the very beginning of this thread, Dating and courtship are two methods of beginning relationships with the opposite sex...
...There are problems inherent with both styles... ...It is important to remember that neither dating NOR courtship is mandated in Scripture......Christian character and spiritual maturity of the couple is far more important than the exact nature of how and when they spend time together.
Scripturally speaking, the result of the process—godly Christian men and women marrying and raising families to the glory of God—is far more important than the method they use to achieve that result.
"Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God" (1 Corinthians 10:31, NKJV).
Finally, care must be taken to avoid the pitfall of believing one’s personal preference—dating or courting—is the “only way” and looking down upon those who make the opposite choice.
As in all things, the unity of the body of Christ should be of utmost importance in our minds, regardless of personal choices others make pertaining to issues on which the Bible is silent. [/i][/b] [/quote] (EMPHASIS MINE)And that's still pretty much the bottom line of the matter for me. |
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Post by stillfocused on Jun 30, 2009 19:58:00 GMT -5
Giants go ahead and write that book!!
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Post by krazeeboi on Jun 30, 2009 21:44:35 GMT -5
I think this is my first time responding in this thread, so forgive me if this has already been stated. But as I understand it, dating is usually what one does when they really don't have a solid commitment to any one person. We might go out a few times, but it's nothing serious. And I can simply stop dating you and start dating someone else on a whim. Courting, on the other hand, seems to be getting to know a person with the express intention of marriage. A genuine friendship develops before the courtship process, which then gives the person(s) involved a pretty good idea if the other person is really marriage material.
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Post by krazeeboi on Jun 30, 2009 22:05:55 GMT -5
After reading through a couple of the posts on the past few pages, I can't help but wonder what role race plays in all of this, because I don't think White Christians really go through all of this. Maybe it has something to do with Black women and the dearth (or supposed dearth) of "suitable" Black men or something.
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Post by Poetricia (G.A.P.) on Jul 1, 2009 5:38:43 GMT -5
I have a question: Would you say that a year of dating/courting/seeing each other is enough time for a couple to know one another well enough to know whether or not they shouls marry (each other)?
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Post by And Such Were Some Of You on Jul 1, 2009 5:51:49 GMT -5
I have a question: Would you say that a year of dating/courting/seeing each other is enough time for a couple to know one another well enough to know whether or not they shouls marry (each other)? You know gap, I don't believe one can really put a time frame on that as I believe it depends on the individuals and what is being discussed during the time of courtship. I've known people who courted/dated for 6 months and were married and I've known people who have courted/dated for a year or more only to find they are having problems. Therefore, I don't believe you can have a blanket t/f for this. However, if both are following the Spirit there really shouldn't be a problem. Again, I recommend both books by Joshua Harris: I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Boy Meets Girl. They were nothing like I thought they would be and were well worth the read. |
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That would be contradict what the scripture says... 
