This is what we need to be seeing more of

[And Such Were Some Of You]

but it is also about divorce as some are saying/implying that the woman in the OP could/should divorce her husband as a way to handle the marital adultery. I believe that because of that, the divorce/remarriage will/can come up.

But that is just my opinion, which really doesn't matter.

[kitty]

Keita,
I am in agreement with your post... The issue isn't divorce but adultry... And it seems to be an issue that we as Christians aren't dealing with enough before these marriages happen...

It seems to be that the burden to keep these marriages together is falling too much on the woman or the partner who hasn't committed the sin rather than looking at how to prevent these kinds of scenarios or like I stated before looking at a person's character before getting married.

And Keita... I agree with you... God doesn't hate divorce... He hates adultry...

Kitty

[keita]

Dec 8, 2009 17:45:29 GMT -5 And Such Were Some Of You said:

but it is also about divorce as some are saying/implying that the woman in the OP could/should divorce her husband as a way to handle the marital adultery. I believe that because of that, the divorce/remarriage will/can come up.

But that is just my opinion, which really doesn't matter.

Well, first off, your opinion most certainly matters to me, especially regarding the things of GOD.
And I do understand what you're saying.

But, especially given my perspective on the matter, I'm certainly not saying that the option to divorce is not, or should not be, a relevant part of any discussion about marital adultery.

I'm saying that discussing the option of divorce specifically in relation to marital adultery (which is appropriate on this thread) is a different matter from discussing/debating divorce in a more general way (which we are doing on the other thread).

My intention was, and is, trying to keep that difference clear.

[giantsdodie]

For me the question isnt whether divorce in the case of adultery is an option. Its whether the option should be utilized.

IMO we should be seeking GOD as to whether to engage in such option. not simply utilize it because it is available.

[keita]

Actually, bro giants, "whether divorce in the case of adultery is an option" isn't a question for me either.

At all.

Because I know that it is.

But it has been my experience that for many Christians, especially a lot of those facing adultery in their marriage, "whether (or not) divorce in the case of adultery is an option" is very much the question.

And a very BIG one at that.

When it comes to the scriptures I always believe in full disclosure because half-truths, personal bias, as well as unexamined religious traditions and teachings, so often create and increase bondage.

So regardless to my personal perspective on the matter, I simply believe that Christians have a right to know the truth that divorce is ONE option in the case of marital adultery.
Just as I believe that Christians have the right to know the truth that divorce is not the ONLY option in the case of marital adultery.

And I think any Christian facing the issue of marital adultery especially needs and deserves to know the whole truth about those options, particularly before moving on to any consideration of whether an option should or should not be chosen.

IMO we should be seeking GOD as to whether to engage in such option. not simply utilize it because it is available.

Now, I TOTALLY agree with you about that.
And I agree whether the option in question is continuing a marriage or ending a marriage in the case of marital adultery.

Because people not only end marriages for "wrong" reasons, they also stay in them.

[Nikkol]

Dec 8, 2009 22:13:33 GMT -5 keita said:

Actually, bro giants, for me "whether divorce in the case of adultery is an option" isn't a question either.

At all.

Because I know that it is.

But it has been my experience that for many Christians, especially a lot of those facing adultery in their marriage, "whether (or not) divorce in the case of adultery is an option" is very much the question.

And a very BIG one at that.

When it comes to the scriptures I always believe in full disclosure because half-truths, personal bias, as well as unexamined religious traditions and teachings, so often create and increase bondage.

So regardless to my personal perspective on the matter, I simply believe that Christians have a right to know the truth that divorce is ONE option in the case of marital adultery.
Just as I believe that Christians have the right to know the truth that divorce is not the ONLY option in the case of marital adultery.

And I think any Christian facing the issue of marital adultery especially needs and deserves to know the whole truth about those options, particularly before moving on to any consideration of whether an option should or should not be chosen.

IMO we should be seeking GOD as to whether to engage in such option. not simply utilize it because it is available.

Now, I TOTALLY agree with you about that.
And I agree whether the option in question is continuing a marriage or ending a marriage in the case of marital adultery.

Because people not only end marriages for "wrong" reasons, they also stay in them.

Well, I personally couldn't tell ppl that if someone commits adultery, divorce is an option.....the reason isn't just because I don't think that's grounds for a divorce, but because just because there is what some would refer to as an option doesn't mean that it's an option that one should take. Even if we say that divorce isn't a sin, we can say that disobedience is...and if God hasn't told us to do that, and we do it anyway, that is sin. However, unfortunately, most ppl may not hear the voice that says "no, don't divorce" because we feel so sure that we can...as Paul said in Corinthians about how all things are lawful but not all things are expedient. I believe that that would/could definitely fit even with this issue.

Then again, if ppl went into marriage knowing that there is no "second chance" and whoever your with is it, many ppl would never walk the aisle. But when you know that in the back of your head if it doesn't work out you can divorce, I think is a choice given that can create many failed marriages....even before they start.

[Nikkol]

One more thing....I think that the "switch" was based on one person thinking it was good that she's staying while someone else thought she should divorce..... I think my purpose was to just pull out the fact that someone is willing to stay in a marriage where something bad happened. You don't see these kinds of stories very often. I mean we have a LOT of marriage/remarriage stories....but most are so negative. I saw this as a testimony.

Have I missed any questions that I needed to respond to?

[anointedteacher]

Dec 9, 2009 7:58:26 GMT -5 Nikkol said:

Dec 8, 2009 22:13:33 GMT -5 keita said:

Actually, bro giants, for me "whether divorce in the case of adultery is an option" isn't a question either.

At all.

Because I know that it is.

But it has been my experience that for many Christians, especially a lot of those facing adultery in their marriage, "whether (or not) divorce in the case of adultery is an option" is very much the question.

And a very BIG one at that.

When it comes to the scriptures I always believe in full disclosure because half-truths, personal bias, as well as unexamined religious traditions and teachings, so often create and increase bondage.

So regardless to my personal perspective on the matter, I simply believe that Christians have a right to know the truth that divorce is ONE option in the case of marital adultery.
Just as I believe that Christians have the right to know the truth that divorce is not the ONLY option in the case of marital adultery.

And I think any Christian facing the issue of marital adultery especially needs and deserves to know the whole truth about those options, particularly before moving on to any consideration of whether an option should or should not be chosen.



Now, I TOTALLY agree with you about that.
And I agree whether the option in question is continuing a marriage or ending a marriage in the case of marital adultery.

Because people not only end marriages for "wrong" reasons, they also stay in them.

Well, I personally couldn't tell ppl that if someone commits adultery, divorce is an option.....the reason isn't just because I don't think that's grounds for a divorce, but because just because there is what some would refer to as an option doesn't mean that it's an option that one should take. Even if we say that divorce isn't a sin, we can say that disobedience is...and if God hasn't told us to do that, and we do it anyway, that is sin. However, unfortunately, most ppl may not hear the voice that says "no, don't divorce" because we feel so sure that we can...as Paul said in Corinthians about how all things are lawful but not all things are expedient. I believe that that would/could definitely fit even with this issue.

It should depend on individual cases... If there no hope in the marriage and it have been destroyed by multi-adultery or homosexuality and the husband or wife can not live with that person and be spiritual, mental and physical healthy, it may be best to give them the Option...

If it ok to divorce in the Word, using adultery as the reason, it is not disobedience to God... Yes, there are cases where God may deal with an individual, even though it may be ok in His Word, but to that person and their situation God say stay... He would make it known to them some how, even if it have to be through dream or prophetic word, they would know. The option should be there so they can make the decision and not you... Counselling is not making the decision for a person, but to help them to make there own decision... If you tell a person to stay their wife/husband... and the spouse is affected with HIV/AIDS(even if you didn't know), you will be held accountable if they ended up with HIV/AIDS and life is completely destroyed. And you can be sued, because you as a spiritual leader advised that person to stay with their adultery sick spouse. This have happen in real life.

Then again, if ppl went into marriage knowing that there is no "second chance" and whoever your with is it, many ppl would never walk the aisle. But when you know that in the back of your head if it doesn't work out you can divorce, I think is a choice given that can create many failed marriages....even before they start.

People need to take marriage seriously, knowing that it is not a dating game... Churches should not pressure ppl into getting marry, by making single ppl feel like they are cursed. They should be encourage to Wait to hear from God who He have them to marry. Young men should be trained not to go totally by look and lust, but by the leading of the Holy Spirit.... And Young woman should not jump at every Tom, thingy and Harry, that don't have a wedding band and approach them in church, he may be a wolfe in sheep clothings... No One is for Divorce, but some cases it's the only option.