Where are the Godly Men

[abundanceofpraise]

I was Just wonderin
Where in the world are all the Godly men, hard working, God fearing men.................There are very hard to find
If anybody finds one That is single. Puh-lease send him on down to West Virginia....

[anointedteacher]

abundanceofpraise said:

I was Just wonderin
Where in the world are all the Godly men, hard working, God fearing men.................There are very hard to find
If anybody finds one That is single. Puh-lease send him on down to West Virginia....

Abundanceofpraise, I have been searching for a llllooonnnnggg time.... it is hard.. every man I came a cross, did not have everything I had on my list. There were just one perfect man I met over 28 years ago, and the only one I said yes to... his name is Jesus.
I will send Him to you express mail ;D

AT

[livinganewlife]

anointedteacher said:

[
There were just one perfect man I met over 28 years ago, and the only one I said yes to... his name is Jesus.
I will send Him to you express mail ;D

AT

LOL but you aint never lied girlfriend!

[giantsdodie]

Allow me to speak on this as a man of God who is now married. nut lived as a single saved and strong brother for many years before God revealed my wife.

I know quite a few single saved and strong men of God and their focus is on one thing. They are busy doing the will of God for their lives. They are focused on getting to know HIM and HIS will for their lives and they are about DOING it. They arent sitting around waiting on God to send some woman into their lives.

They are about the fathers business. They know and understand this one simple fact of the saved life. If I take care of GOD's business GOD will take care of my business.

I believe the unfortunate mistake of many women of God is that they get caught up into finding the man or looking for potential candidates instead of being all they can be for JESUS.

When I met my wife I wasnt interested in how cute she was, how long her legs were blah blah blah. I asked her some pretty serious questions. Why. Because I KNOW who I am in Christ and I KNOW what GOD has called me to be. I KNOW where HE desires to take me and I KNOW some of the price that will have to be paid to get there. The question is can you handle it?

I asked my wife things like.. How do you see yourself fitting together with me in ministry because I am called to minister the Word of God.

Her answer.. ( her exact words ) Well I kind of see you as the tornado that comes along and rips up houses and tears up trees and then leaves and I am the Red Cross that brings the coffeem donuts and the blankets.

And in all honesty what God showed her was that the ministry he is preparing me for is one that will uproot and tear down some things particularly in the area of mindset and beliefe systems.. However my wifes strength is in building and comforting.

She saw how we complimented each other in ministry. I am a LOT more Lion and she is a LOT more Lamb. Sometimes I tell her you need to be more aggressive about things and she tells me you need to calm down and get a better perspective on things before you go charging off.

I asked her..

What makes you think you can be my wife.

Her answer...

Because I am the only woman on this planet ANOINTED BY GOD to deal with YOU...

God had her ready to BE a wife when I showed up. She knew her call, she was working on herself and working on her education, asking GOD to change her into the woman that HE wanted her to be.

SO many while we might ask.. Where are the Godly, hard working, God fearing men.. They are hard to find...

I ask you....


ARE YOU READY TO BE FOUND ?!!!!!!

[abundanceofpraise]

Absolutley im ready to be found, I agree with you Giant totally..... There are very hard to find, and I just fear that Im going to be alone for the rest of my Life. There are very hard to find almost like they are an indangered species...........The wait has been hard and Im doing my best to be patient....

[giantsdodie]

abundanceofpraise said:

Absolutley im ready to be found, I agree with you Giant totally..... There are very hard to find, and I just fear that Im going to be alone for the rest of my Life. There are very hard to find almost like they are an indangered species...........The wait has been hard and Im doing my best to be patient....

Ok you say you are ready to be found.

My question. And what makes you say that?
and
Does God agree with your assessment ?

Do you understand what marriage is ??
God purpose for marriage ?
Do you have a GOOD understand of what a covenant is?
Do you have a vision from God for your life?
Are you walking in that vision in any capacity?
Do you understand the responsibilites of a wife?
Do you understand the responsibilities of a husband?

better yet...

Do you comprehend YOUR specific responsibility as a wife? Has God revealed it to you yet?
How will your specific gifts, skills, talents, abilities and anointing bless God, Your husband, your family, Your church and your community.

Does GOD even want you married?

And if so what is HIS purpose for you being married? its a lot bigger than you not wanting to be alone..


Unfortunately women (and particularly black women) have brought the lie which says there are a shortage of available men. However I dont believe that is the case because there is NO shortage in GOD. He is able to supply ALL our needs according to HIS riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

ALL means ALL...

However this postion has caused many women ( and men for that matter ) to become impatient and rush into marriages they are not equipped to deal with at all..

[abundanceofpraise]

I hear what you are saying Giant and I agree but Not all of us is going to have everything figured out by the time we do get married.....The Bible also say's that it is not Good for man/ women to be alone So I think It is God's desire that we all find a spouse....I pray God will send me somebody eventually..... ITs not easy being single alote of Married people forget what its like to be alone.........

[giantsdodie]

abundanceofpraise said:

I hear what you are saying Giant and I agree but Not all of us is going to have everything figured out by the time we do get married.....The Bible also say's that it is not Good for man/ women to be alone So I think It is God's desire that we all find a spouse....I pray God will send me somebody eventually..... ITs not easy being single alote of Married people forget what its like to be alone.........

Nobody has it all figured outm however there are some thing we need to have an understanding of when we are talking about marriage.

And I have to disagree it is not God's desire that we ALL find a spouse because there are many men and women who never marry and have full totally productive and enjoyable lives.

While I totally understand dealing with loneliness you can also be with someone and be very lonely.

The key is being fulfilled in Christ...so that no matter what state we are in we are content.

If marriage is all about being married to make one feel better about their condition. Then we have missed the point of marriage. Marriage is a ministry. The word minister means to serve. Marriage is a 24-7. 365 service unto the Lord and to another person.

So the key is that one has to be ready to serve. And one should have SOME understanding of the capacity to which they are called to serve.

When God began to speak to me about a wife, I started asking God to make me ready and asking God the very same questions I listed..

Did I have ALL the answers.. no..
Am I still learning things yes...

But I did have an understanding of some things...

[abundanceofpraise]

Well I understand where you are coming from Giant but, Like i said before Married People forget what its like.......You know!!! You have somebody to hold you at night, talk to you and to be there for you.

So if not everybody is called to be married then how do you know if that is what your calling is, how do you know if God wants you to be alone and never marry???

What happened to God giving you the desires of your Heart???
If you desire to get married and have your own family. Why wouldn't God allow that to happen?

[giantsdodie]

abundanceofpraise said:

Well I understand where you are coming from Giant but, Like i said before Married People forget what its like.......You know!!! You have somebody to hold you at night, talk to you and to be there for you.

This is so not true. My memory still works. I know what its like to be single. I have been alive 41 years. Saved for 15. Only 5 of that has been married. I have been single a lot longer than I have been married. I used to struggle against loneliness quite a bit. But marriage didnt cure my struggle with loneliness. It was when I realized that loneliness is a manifestation of the Spirit of Heaviness is when I stopped struggling with loneliness.

First off I realized I am NEVER alone. Jesus is with me wherever I go. He never leaves me nor forsakes me. I have family. I have some very good God given friends. Instead of making my focus my loneliness I made my focus knowing the will of GOD for my ;ife and then focusing on DOING it. I stopped worrying about getting married because as I read the Word I saw that when Isaac was in the field working and worshipping GOD brought him a wife. I made my focus doing the Lord's work and worshipping Him. I knew that if I take care of GOD's business GOD will take care of my business.

People need to stop looking at singleness a a disease that marriage is the cure from. Singleness is the time to build your relationship with GOD and if marriage is GOD;s will for you its the time to learn what you need to learn so that you can be an effective husband or wife. I learned MOST of what I know about marriage when I was single. The marriage is now me APPLYING what I learned.

So if not everybody is called to be married then how do you know if that is what your calling is, how do you know if God wants you to be alone and never marry???

Simple You ask Him. God told me plain and simple He had a wife for me. Thats how I knew I would be married. More importantly He told me the WHY He is marrying me, which is FAAAAAAR more important. The sripture says without a vision the people perish. Know why marriages are failing and the divorce rate in the church is 15% higher than it is in the world.. No VISION...

What happened to God giving you the desires of your Heart???
If you desire to get married and have your own family. Why wouldn't God allow that to happen?

Well lets break that scripture down a little more because this is one of the most misunderstood scriptures I have seen quoted.

First off we are called to delight ourselves in the Lord. This is not some cosmic euphoria. We are being called to make God our delight. That means putting HIM first, putting HIS will first, putting HIS desires above our own desires, seeking HIS face and seeking HIS will.

Now as far as the desire in our hearts. Firstly lets realize what the scripture says about the heart of man. Scripture says that it is desparately wicked and deceitful above all things. If GOD truly gave us half the desires that are in our hearts we would kill ourselves inside of five minutes.

So what is the scripture then saying.. What it is saying is when we delight ourselves in the Lord, making GOD our delight, then GOD will give us the CORRECT desires. HE will GIVE us desires that are to our benefit and NOT to our demise. Now because THOSE desires are GODLY.. THOSE He can give us.

We must always remember GOD is not obligated to our wants. HE is obligated to His will.

Unfortunately a lot of this single vs married issues was reinforced by the ignorant statement Prophetess Bynum made about married women not being able to minister to her when she was single because they had somebody. That was just sheer pride and ignorance talking.

God has blessed me to have a successful single saved and strong experience and is blessing me ( and teaching me ) how to have a masterful, ministerial marriage experience.

The KEY point whether one is married or single is that GOD mist be at the focal point.

When GOD spoke to me about a wife.. I told God HONESTLY.. Look I read your word and it says for me to love a wife like Christ loved the church.. I told God.. I dont know anything about that... I know how to manipulate emotions and how to use sex to get what I want.

God said good.. now you can start learning... How God.. How do I love a wife like Christ Loved the church..

God said.. STUDY JESUS...so I began to study Jesus and His love..

Then I started studying things about Covenant..

Then I started studying the role and responsibilities of a man to GOD first and his family...

Then I studying about the role of a wife.. FIRST because I am also a wife.. I am part of the BRIDE of CHRIST.. If I want my wife to honor me I need to make sure I am honoring JESUS as HIS bride..

I did all this when I was SINGLE.. not married...

God took 8 years of my single life to prepare me for marriage.. because I had SO muh CRAP from my unsaved life and ignorant expectations about marriage...

It was then I realized marriage is NEVER about you.. Its about GOD first and the other person SECOND... You come LAST... Marriage isnt about someone making you feel good about you.. that GOD's job.

Marriage is about you becoming a servant to someone else.

I always tell singles.. If aint ready to serve.. You aint ready for marriage..

Its ok to want a thing.. But then you have to make sure that is GOD's desire for you. THEN you have to prepare yourself to receive that thing...

See Ill be honest most women I have spoken to have NO IDEA what they are asking for.They want someone to hold them. stroke their hair, tell em they pretty and make love to them.
(and thats being polite )...

But yet they know NOTHING about marriage. They know NOTHING about being a wife. They WANT To be one yet they know NOTHING about it. I have found that women tend to focus on the wedding. They know the dress they want, what bridesmaid they want etc etc.. but the wedding lasts a MOMENT. They arent prepared for a marriage AT ALL.

But ask those same women about vision. purpose and destiny and they stare at you like you have three eyeballs. Yet they wonder why their marriages fail, because they have NO vision.

[Nikkol]

Well I understand where you are coming from Giant but, Like i said before Married People forget what its like.......You know!!! You have somebody to hold you at night, talk to you and to be there for you.

One thing that GDD did point out and that is something that I guess is hard for some people to understand and that is that just because there is someone in your bedroom with you doesn't mean that you aren't lonely. It doesn't mean that you have someone to hold you or talk to you or even be there for you...... actually to me would be worse than not having somewhere there at all.

When you look at the divorce rate, esp. among Christians, would agree with this.

So if not everybody is called to be married then how do you know if that is what your calling is, how do you know if God wants you to be alone and never marry???

I think that although marriage is a ministry, we shouldn't get consumed in knowing if we're called to be married or not. For some, God may say remain single or marry. But for others, it's just important to just keep working for God knowing that if your footsteps are ordered in the Lord (His Word), if that is the direction that God has for you, than it will happen. Even before I got married, my intentions at that moment weren't thinking about being married but rather just being a friendly person and just knowing more of what God would have for me to do. You don't want to find yourself thinking about getting married and how much longer do I have to wait, etc. Some people that do this have found themselves just marrying the first person that may have some "potential" and then find themselves miserable.

Granted sometimes it is hard for people to take that advice from those that are married but the truth still remains that if we just keep following God, everything else will come into place.

What happened to God giving you the desires of your Heart???
If you desire to get married and have your own family. Why wouldn't God allow that to happen?

A lot has to do with one's focus. The scripture says:

Psalms 37:1-6
1 Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity. 2 For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb. 3 Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. 4 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. 5 Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. 6 And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.

Also remember:

Isaiah 55:6-9
6 Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near: 7 Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. 8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. 9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Our thoughts and ways are different than God's and if we try to understand what's going on by our own inteleect, we will miss out on many things.

Lastly,

Psalms 84:8-12
8 O LORD God of hosts, hear my prayer: give ear, O God of Jacob. Selah. 9 Behold, O God our shield, and look upon the face of thine anointed. 10 For a day in thy courts is better than a thousand. I had rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness. 11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly. 12 O LORD of hosts, blessed is the man that trusteth in thee.

If you believe that God won't withhold any good thing from you. Just know that it's not time. This may be a lesson about patience... or maybe God wants you to change your focus... or maybe either you, him, or the both of you aren't ready yet.

[livinganewlife]

abundanceofpraise said:

Absolutley im ready to be found, I agree with you Giant totally..... There are very hard to find, and I just fear that Im going to be alone for the rest of my Life. There are very hard to find almost like they are an indangered species...........The wait has been hard and Im doing my best to be patient....

Before I respond I would like to ask how old are you? or at least an age range........

GDD has said alot of what I want to say......and I for one am very active in the singles ministry because I was single for so long and have only been married for 4.5 years.....so what more experience do I have.............. not only that I am a testimony that if you wait and do things God's way he will bless you.....is the wait hard YES it is......however please know this abundance that if you don't resolve issues while you are single you will have those same issues as a married person.

MARRIAGE does not SOLVE your problems! I will agree with Bynum on this and that is marriage is not for children Marriage is for mature people ready to make a lifetime commitment of sacrifices in ministry to your spouse

[Nikkol]

livinganewlife said:

I will agree with Bynum on this and that is marriage is not for children Marriage is for mature people ready to make a lifetime commitment of sacrifices in ministry to your spouse

I thought that this was interesting point.... would "arranged" marriages" fall into this category? We also know that back in the day children did get married... at least girls (Mary and Joseph). Or is "maturity" based moreso on a mindset than an actual age. ... I do wonder how many people really see marriage as a lifelong commitment. I remember one gentleman that said that he thinks that marriage should last 7 years and after that, you should decide if you want to add another 3 years or end it........

[abundanceofpraise]

For the one who asked how old I am, Im 27......I trully agree with all of you, I rest my case....
With the rate im going I will probably grow old alone, I was hoping that it wasn't the Lords will that I will end up alone. If its the Lord will I just have to learn to accept it....

thanks for you comments everyone
Jessica

[livinganewlife]

Maturity is more of a mindset than age; however it is more than likely to expect a person who is 40 to be more mature than a 20 year old......