Divorce in Christian marriages

[anointedteacher]

Dec 9, 2009 7:51:29 GMT -5 Nikkol said:

Dec 8, 2009 17:51:21 GMT -5 And Such Were Some Of You said:

I really don't believe there would be much divorce in the church if both spouses realized that marriage is to mirror Christ and the Church.

Instead, we automatically look for reasons WHY we can divorce instead of operating in forgiveness. When we "cheat on God" does He divorce us? Or does He forgive us?

That's where I am on this.....for truth be told, if God were to divorce us when we "slept with the enemy", NONE of us would be saved.....

Then again, to me, adultery still falls into the "worse" of the better for worse that we indicated to the judge/preacher/etc. Just like a man loosing his job and unable to find work would be in the "richer/poorer".......
Side Note: Additionally, I'm seeing more and more that many times, it's NOT only the man who's cheating....but some women are just better at "hiding" what they do....but of course that would never come out......

Side Note #2: I do wonder if MOST reasons for divorce in christian households is due to adultery.....I don't know if I am a believer that it is..... (unfortunately I can't find any statistics online)

No... the VOW is BROKEN.... and you are nolonger one flesh, but multi-flesh.... DEPEND on the individual cases.... there is life after an adultery and the marriage can be saved... If I was married and my husband cheated... I wll not jump up and get a divorce, unless it is like Tiger Wood case, multi ppl, or homosexual, incess etc. there no other option for me but divorce.

The same when it come to abuse... knowing me and the old man may not be completely gone... to keep from killing my husband, it would be best to divorce... I never had a man to hit me except I got spanked by my uncle when I was 4 and again when I was 8... I never dated anybody that even yelled at me. I was raise without a father, and my mother never brought men over us, so I never experience or seen any abuse. Well my mom used to beat us crazy when we did some wrong. LOL

[Nikkol]

It should depend on individual cases... If there no hope in the marriage and it have been destroyed by multi-adultery or homosexuality and the husband or wife can not live with that person and be spiritual, mental and physical healthy, it may be best to give them the Option...

I don't see a problem with giving ppl the option to separate.

If it ok to divorce in the Word, using adultery as the reason, it is not disobedience to God... Yes, there are cases where God may deal with an individual, even though it may be ok in His Word, but to that person and their situation God say stay... He would make it known to them some how, even if it have to be through dream or prophetic word, they would know. The option should be there so they can make the decision and not you... Counselling is not making the decision for a person, but to help them to make there own decision... If you tell a person to stay their wife/husband... and the spouse is affected with HIV/AIDS(even if you didn't know), you will be held accountable if they ended up with HIV/AIDS and life is completely destroyed. And you can be sued, because you as a spiritual leader advised that person to stay with their adultery sick spouse. This have happen in real life.

Of course we won't agree in reference to adultery being a reason for divorce....However, my point is that we must acknowledge God in ALL our ways and just because we "can" do something doesn't mean we should. And therefore if in seeking God he said "no" and you did it anyway, then that is disobedience. I would have to read up on regarding being sued.... What were the "grounds"? At the same time, scripture also talks about saved ppl going to court. At the same time, when you join a church, those are all questions that you should know in reference to where the ministry stands.

People need to take marriage seriously, knowing that it is not a dating game... Churches should not pressure ppl into getting marry, by making single ppl feel like they are cursed. They should be encourage to Wait to hear from God who He have them to marry. Young men should be trained not to go totally by look and lust, but by the leading of the Holy Spirit.... And Young woman should not jump at every Tom, thingy and Harry, that don't have a wedding band and approach them in church, he may be a wolfe in sheep clothings... No One is for Divorce, but some cases it's the only option.

I see nowadays that ppl that are married are moreso feeling like they're cursed. I don't think ppl should be pressured to get married....at the same time, if you're shacking, either one person should move out or they should get married

What about legal separation instead of divorce?

[anointedteacher]

I was referring to single ppl that are living holy and nit shacking....

What about legal separation instead of divorce?..... If you not going to ever get back with that person, why stay connected? you can not fully move on with an invisible cord connecting you to someone you want to be free from... Most women want their name back.

[Nikkol]

Dec 9, 2009 21:48:44 GMT -5 anointedteacher said:

I was referring to single ppl that are living holy and nit shacking....

What about legal separation instead of divorce?..... If you not going to ever get back with that person, why stay connected? you can not fully move on with an invisible cord connecting you to someone you want to be free from... Most women want their name back.

I'd always want them to hopefully be able to get back together. The separation allows for that option.... I still believe the point would be for reconciliation but the separation would allow for the reasons Kitty said for divorce to not cause any issues.