I had said on page one that I would share my internet experience, but never did. But anyway...
I joined a few singles sites after my divorce thinking that meeting men via internet would be safer than in person. I knew I was on the rebound from my marriage and understood a little bit about that being a very fragile time emotionally. What I didn't understand was that the internet can be just as, if not more dangerous to the heart as any encounter in person.
I had received a message from a guy who didn't catch my eye at first. His eyes looked sad and they looked red, (i thought he was a drinker) and he was plain looking. I didn't respond.
A couple of weeks later I got the same message from him again from another site. Black Singles. It was free then as were most of them. I noticed the email said the exact thing that the one had from a few weeks before. So my first thought was
"FORM LETTER! 
He's out here shipping emails to everybody and ain't even trying to change them. He's just hoping to hit something in the dark."Well I went to his profile and it was one that asked several questions, like at least 15. As I read his answers I saw the answers I would have given to the same questions. It was like I had found myself in another person! (I think this is the soul mate thing)
I responded to him and he immediately sent me his phone number. He was way east. I called and when we both said hello, we both sighed as if to say,
"finally, I've found you". Long, long story short. We talked a few times and as we did, we both felt like the other was saying our own words. It was like we both had found our identical twin. So my plan to use the internet as a safety net for my heart was shot.
I went to visit him twice. He didn't send for me. I used my money. He had said he would come see me but it never happened. I made sure to go when my girls were with their dad for the weekend. No sex. I thought he was so wonderful for not forcing that issue. I felt he really respected me. The two days I was there it felt like no one else in the world existed.
He was everything I thought I would have ever wanted. I wasn't sure how much he went to church but I saw a bible on the table with some highlighted scriptures so that was enough for me to work with. Heck nobody's perfect!
But then after the first visit he began to turn cold, act like he didn't like me or like he was trying to push me away. Instead of letting it go, because of the frame of mind I was in at the time, I tried harder and this of course made it harder. My second visit was nothing like the first.
I later found out of course there were other women. One had actually planned to visit the same week I was on the second visit. The only reason the both of us did not show up at his door together was because I had to change my date for some reason.
I knew he had a secret (this was why he pushed me away) but I never found out what it was until last year, six years after the fact. It made everything make sense. And even though I had long stopped being angry with him for hurting me, once I knew what he was dealing with, it made it all just...make sense. And I was a little angry with him for deciding for me that I couldn't handle it.
We've spoken since then and he actually is supposed to be coming to my church within the next few months, to speak to our congregation. It will be good to see him.
He's out here shipping emails to everybody and ain't even trying to change them. He's just hoping to hit something in the dark."