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Post by kitty on Dec 17, 2007 12:13:00 GMT -5
Beck....
I completely agree with you....
" Best of Bunch" LOL that was a good one!
Kitty
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Post by Rachel2 on Dec 17, 2007 12:30:13 GMT -5
When I married my wife I was unemployed ( was working when we were engaged, company shut down ), didnt have anough money to even rent a car to drive to my own wedding, lived in a small studio apartment and have no college degree. I had none of the things that many women of God are told to look for BEFORE you get married. So why did my wife marry me??? Quite simply because she loves Jesus and was obedient to HIS will for her life. And she knew that if you loved Jesus and had Him at the head of your life, that eventually He would bless you with the finances to provide for your home since your are the head. ..That's why I am going to do it. |
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Post by kitty on Dec 17, 2007 13:02:06 GMT -5
Rachel I second that....
I think it is most important to follow God's will for your life.....
Kitty
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Post by And Such Were Some Of You on Dec 17, 2007 13:04:33 GMT -5
I always find it interesting when people can constantlly tell a woman about what all she lacks in being a wife... tell her she's not ready... tell her she needs to be a wife before she even gets the husband... Yet we never stress on a man living up to any standards to be a husband. All he has to do is declare he's a Christian and nothing more... Not to mention if a woman states that she desires certain qualities in a man... we may question her as to what qualities does she have to balance that man out? In other words... Is she good enough? But she can be a hard working woman with all the wonderful qualities in the world and she is not to blink if we suggest she marry the bum off the street... Not for a second is anyone to question what qualities does he have to balance her? Why is that? Kitty I don't believe anyone said or even implied that. Where did that come from? |
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Post by Jasmine on Dec 17, 2007 13:31:30 GMT -5
I always find it interesting when people can constantlly tell a woman about what all she lacks in being a wife... tell her she's not ready... tell her she needs to be a wife before she even gets the husband... Yet we never stress on a man living up to any standards to be a husband. All he has to do is declare he's a Christian and nothing more... Not to mention if a woman states that she desires certain qualities in a man... we may question her as to what qualities does she have to balance that man out? In other words... Is she good enough? But she can be a hard working woman with all the wonderful qualities in the world and she is not to blink if we suggest she marry the bum off the street... Not for a second is anyone to question what qualities does he have to balance her? Why is that? Kitty I don't believe anyone said or even implied that. Where did that come from? I was thinking the same thing. |
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Post by Jasmine on Dec 17, 2007 13:49:01 GMT -5
Honestly, no body is really ready for marriage. Your ready, because you desire a husband, you desire that someone to spend your life with, and most importantly God favors You. However, when you too come together as man and wife...its like re-entering kindergarten, and awaiting graduating from high school. A learning process!
Everything is a learning process. No one comes into a marriage being the Perfect wife, or Perfect husband, No one is perfect.
As single women. Focus on God. Focus on doing his business, and while in the midst of being about God's business...that man will come along.
Let God be the authoritive on who he choices as your husband. Qualities, goals and aspirations are wonderful, just don't let them be the deciding factor on whom you say YES to.
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Post by MsKayLander on Dec 17, 2007 14:51:27 GMT -5
Honestly, no body is really ready for marriage. Your ready, because you desire a husband, you desire that someone to spend your life with, and most importantly God favors You. However, when you too come together as man and wife...its like re-entering kindergarten, and awaiting graduating from high school. A learning process! Everything is a learning process. No one comes into a marriage being the Perfect wife, or Perfect husband, No one is perfect. As single women. Focus on God. Focus on doing his business, and while in the midst of being about God's business...that man will come along. Let God be the authoritive on who he choices as your husband. Qualities, goals and aspirations are wonderful, just don't let them be the deciding factor on whom you say YES to. what if you are doing all that and no one comes along? should I believe I did something wrong or I am not waiting in the right posture?? |
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Post by Nikkol on Dec 17, 2007 15:24:19 GMT -5
Beck... I agree. I remember going to a convocation and the woman raising the offering told the men to give $100. Then they went to tell the women to look around and if you see a man that isn't in this line, that's not a man that you want to be with....... I tend to hear a lot of male bashing
I honestly didn't hear much about "preparing for marriage" or should I say how to be a wife/husband until YEARS after I was married. I actually wanted to ask how do you "prepare"? What exactly does that mean?
But I will say that I do feel that church has created this "standard" for the type of man that women should be with which can sometims be unreasonable. What happened to just hearing from God? or waiting for God? Then again, I also feel like the welfare system has helped this become worse instead of better as well....
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Post by giantsdodie on Dec 17, 2007 17:58:41 GMT -5
I ask men the exact same questions I ask women.
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Post by Jasmine on Dec 17, 2007 18:53:32 GMT -5
Honestly, no body is really ready for marriage. Your ready, because you desire a husband, you desire that someone to spend your life with, and most importantly God favors You. However, when you too come together as man and wife...its like re-entering kindergarten, and awaiting graduating from high school. A learning process! Everything is a learning process. No one comes into a marriage being the Perfect wife, or Perfect husband, No one is perfect. As single women. Focus on God. Focus on doing his business, and while in the midst of being about God's business...that man will come along. Let God be the authoritive on who he choices as your husband. Qualities, goals and aspirations are wonderful, just don't let them be the deciding factor on whom you say YES to. what if you are doing all that and no one comes along? should I believe I did something wrong or I am not waiting in the right posture?? How many of us are waiting for God to do something that he has promised in our life right now? Would you assume that you haven't done something right, or would you continue to trust, have faith, and wait on God? I would not dare say that one who is doing all they know how to do is doing something wrong. Just wait on God and continue to Live. I know the way gets hard...but continue to trust. thats it what I would say to one who has such questions. |
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Post by giantsdodie on Dec 17, 2007 22:34:05 GMT -5
what if you are doing all that and no one comes along? should I believe I did something wrong or I am not waiting in the right posture?? How many of us are waiting for God to do something that he has promised in our life right now? Would you assume that you haven't done something right, or would you continue to trust, have faith, and wait on God? I would not dare say that one who is doing all they know how to do is doing something wrong. Just wait on God and continue to Live. I know the way gets hard...but continue to trust. thats it what I would say to one who has such questions. I disagree with the premise that none of us are ready for marriage... Can u elaborate please |
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Post by Jasmine on Dec 18, 2007 12:02:14 GMT -5
How many of us are waiting for God to do something that he has promised in our life right now? Would you assume that you haven't done something right, or would you continue to trust, have faith, and wait on God? I would not dare say that one who is doing all they know how to do is doing something wrong. Just wait on God and continue to Live. I know the way gets hard...but continue to trust. thats it what I would say to one who has such questions. I disagree with the premise that none of us are ready for marriage... Can u elaborate please I don't mean that we aren't ready..as in no desire to be, or no one is ready for marriage (made up mind). However with all the preparation of preparing yourself for a wife or husband..you don't really know all that you are getting into, until you get into it. (marriage itself) I hope that explains., maybe ready was not the correct word, but the statement should suffice. |
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Post by livinganewlife on Dec 21, 2007 11:32:05 GMT -5
Someone sent me an email and I thought that I would share this with you all......
Words from Reverend Dr. Jamaal Harrison Bryant, (Empowerment Temple AME
Church, Baltimore, Maryland)
For those of us who are single or married be blessed by this word!
I often warn women who are contemplating marriage to marry someone who can take care of them.
When a woman marries, it ought to be to someone who
is capable of taking her to the next level.
If she comes from poverty, there is no reason for her to get married and still be impoverished.
The role of the man is to take her to another place. When she gets married, she ought to dress better, drive better, live better, and eat better, not constantly be in a struggle over where her next meal is coming from.
My grandmother used to say, "I can do bad all by myself".
For a woman desiring a mate, the objective, of course, would be to find a Christian man, who's settled, has goals, accomplishments and a job.
But a goal-oriented and focused man can't just be approached any kind of way.
So the woman who seeks this type of stability must make sure that she stands out above the crowd:
1. Make sure your relationship with the Lord is strong and growing.
2. Make sure that you are presentable. Working from the inside out, your presentation should be representative of both who you are and whom you seek. Appearance is a reflection of how you see yourself.
3. Have the ability to hold an intelligent conversation.
4. And most importantly, allow the Holy Spirit to take control. You don't need to go after him. He's going to come after you, because after he sees and smells you and knows that you're in his presence, he's going to want to know who you are!
I know there's somebody reading this who has been
chasing after the "man of your dreams," but God says, "Just sit still and allow patience to have her perfect work through Me."
Furthermore, it's never a good idea to be too forward and too aggressive.
Attempting to win a man's affection by jumping into bed with him will only backfire and cause him to lose interest in ever developing a lasting relationship.
It causes him to lose respect for you and question your
character.
However, if he sees that you are dressed with quality, that you smell like you are somebody; that you look like you're doing fine
without him, then that will attract the right attention from him.
He'll have no choice but to give you his attention.
Stop looking so needy, climbing into bed, trying in vain to capture a man's heart!
God woke me up in the middle of the night and said, "The same thing that Naomi told Ruth to do is the same thing that I want them to do for me."
God is so sick of saints coming to Him trying to get a quickie and never romancing Him for Who he is - going to church screaming, shouting and hollering, but hadn't been intimate with God all week long!
Stop trying to treat God like a sugar daddy and start romancing Him with worship and praise: "I'm yours Lord...everything I've got...everything I'm not!"
The God we serve, which is the God of love, demands and requires of us foreplay before He gives us what we need.
In the book of Ruth, the mother-in-law tells Ruth, "You have to wash."
John 15:3 reminds us, "Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you."
When you sit in the Gospel of Jesus Christ, you are taking a shower. When you hear the unadulterated Word of God, then the dirt and grime that you've accumulated all week long begins to wash off you.
Ask God to "create in you a clean heart and renew a right spirit."
Stand in the word! Then wait upon the Lord to renew your strength!
Pass this on to those who have found or are seeking Mr. Right.
With God, All things are Possible!
BE ENCOURAGED!!!!!!!!
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Post by kitty on Dec 21, 2007 18:10:54 GMT -5
living,
I think the post you put up was very interesting.... yet I have to say I disagree with many points of it...
Of course I believe that women shouldn't sleep with men. That goes without saying.
But what if a owman's husband loses his job? What if he was rich then became poor?
Also... I have to say... Can somebody really explain to me why people give Ruth and Naomi as examples of how NOT to chase a man? Because to me... they are clearly chasing after Boaz... Ruth tells him she wants him to be her man...
I think it is ok for a woman to let a man know that she is interested in him. I think she should smile, say hello and maybe even invite him to lunch if she pleases...
As long as she don't come on to him sexually she isn't doing anything wrong...
Kitty
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Post by livinganewlife on Dec 22, 2007 21:43:10 GMT -5
living, I think the post you put up was very interesting.... yet I have to say I disagree with many points of it... Of course I believe that women shouldn't sleep with men. That goes without saying. But what if a owman's husband loses his job? What if he was rich then became poor? Also... I have to say... Can somebody really explain to me why people give Ruth and Naomi as examples of how NOT to chase a man? Because to me... they are clearly chasing after Boaz... Ruth tells him she wants him to be her man... I think it is ok for a woman to let a man know that she is interested in him. I think she should smile, say hello and maybe even invite him to lunch if she pleases... As long as she don't come on to him sexually she isn't doing anything wrong... Kitty I think once Ruth realized she had caught Boaz eye that's when the "games" begin............ Let me ask this question since we are talking about criteria.....and often times we hear that a woman should have herself together before getting a husband..... And since Ruth was mentioned what was it that Ruth was doing (so special) in order to prepare herself for a husband? |
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